Never let me go
by theherbflower
Summary: With a Lily and James romance in brew, a lusty Sirius Black and a Werewolf addicted to cookies, Life during the gangs last year can get pretty crazy. Come and join the gang for their last year at Hogwarts and the journey into the years beyond. .Herb3
1. Here We Stand

**DISCLAIMER.... I do not own any of the harry potter characters or things to do with any wizarding thing that JK has invented in her oh so happy head. I do also disclaim the title, as I stole it from a song by Amber Pacific. Do enjoy, for now I'm off. **

Author: Herb3

Story: Never let me go.

Chapter One: Here we stand

Lily Evans paced the platform of 9 ¾ at The Kings Cross station searching for her best friends Phoebe O'haare and Gwen Ackles. She scanned the crowed again and again for them but unfortunately she inevitably spotted the one person, she did not want to see.

James Potter.

James Potter was the type of person who would annoy you to death one second, then act all charming and make you heart melt the next. He has constantly plagued me since our third year when he found out about the world of girls, and simply decided that I, was the one he would marry one day. I have told him no in many different forms, mostly violent forms but none the less, no. He picked on people, pranking and dueling with them. It irritated me to absolutely no end. Though I would have none of this, this year. For I was just appointed Head Girl, and it was my last year at Hogwarts. I was not going to let his attempts to make me his blushing bride ruin it. I just wanted to spend the last crumbs of childhood aloft and peaceful with my two best friends and no one else.

But alas, as inevitable as it may have seemed, only seconds after I found myself leaving the thought induced trance, did I find myself face to face with no one else but James Bloody Potter.

"Hello Evans, how was you summer? I'm hoping that It was well and that your sister did not give you too much trouble." He asked casually, stuffing his hands in his pocket instead of his normal ruffling of hair that infuriated me. Though I found that I missed the action, which sort of weirded me out...

"It was lovely Potter. Yours?" I replied back a bit cool like. I mentally slapped myself. He was trying to be nice, and I was being a bitch.

He frowned a tad bit, though seconds later his normal handsome grin was replaced upon his face that had won the hearts of so many Hogwarts girls.

"Oh it was alright."

James Potter was rather tall and muscular. He was Gryffindor's star Chaser and Captain of the team. He had messy inky black hair that was never neat and these gorgeous hazel eyes that were framed by a pair of wire rimmed glasses. Even I could not deny that James Potter was handsome. And he also happened to be the ring leader of a group of havoc wrecking individuals who had in our third year dubbed themselves the title of 'The Marauders.'

The Marauders were composed of four teenage boys by the names of James Potter, (most obviously), Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew.

The first and right hand man of James was none other than Sirius Black, his proclaimed friend. As the girls of Hogwarts called him. 'The most sought after boy to ever roam the Halls of Hogwarts.' They all thrust themselves upon him like rag dolls, wishing for him to use and abuse them. He was extremely handsome, that no one can deny. He had well kept black hair that fell about his face framing it perfectly, deep sapphire blue eyes that were rather big and round. The only person to my knowledge to deny his atractiveness was my friend Gwen, who would deny it to the farthest reaches of the earth. Sirius did not however, mind the attention of the girls however, it was quite obvious that he enjoyed the attention, he enjoyed the attention quite a lot as it were.

The next was Remus Lupin, he was a kind gentle man and I did quite like him a lot. He wasn't like the rest of the Marauders, he was sweet and kind. He had feelings for people that were very open, one would say that he wore his heart upon his sleeve. He was more than your average Hogwarts male, that much was quite obvious. He had sandy blond hair that framed his face just as neatly as Sirius's did, not quite as long however. He had these soft amber eyes that had a certain glow of kindness him them for all how peered into them. He had the most compassionate personality of anyone that I'd ever met in all my life, and a dazzlingly handsome smile. He was also a prefect with me, and I hoped he was dubbed with the title of Head Boy.

Peter Pettigrew was the last of the Marauders. He was a tag along I guess. He also idolized James and had no confidence whatsoever. He had stringy brown hair and watery muddy eyes. He sort of reminded me of a rat really, I don't trust him, not as far as I could throw him. At lets face it, he was near Two Hundred Pounds, and I was as weak as a twig.

I sighed heavily, as the rest of the Marauders bounded over to me after they're friend.

"Lily Love! How was your summer? I'm assuming that it was absolutely great as your the one and only beautiful Lily Evans." Sirius asked descending an arm around my shoulders casually.

"It was fine Sirius." I said albeit irritated. I then scanned the platform again for my friends before catching site of Phoebe who was lugging her trunk along behind her with difficulty. Remus seemed to notice this because seconds later he took off over to her to help her.

Phoebe was a small frail girl. She had this long brown hair that twisted and turned into elegantly flawless curls down her back to its resting place near her waist. She was sweet and had beautiful soft light brown eyes. And she also fancied Remus Lupin, whom when he picked up her trunk for her, smiled in surprise with a small bit of color flooding her face.

He smiled sweetly down at her, as he was the tallest of the Marauders and neared a fierce 6'3. She said a thank you and they both made they're way over to us with grins on they're faces. I could tell that they both fancied eachother, that much was quite and blatantly obvious. They just had to get over they're queries first. I beamed at the flush on Phoebe's face and the grin on Remus's. Sirius who still had his arm around me was shaking his head at Remus. I then looked around for Gwen, who still hadn't shown up yet.

"Hi Lily." She smiled at me.

"Hey Phoebe, what do you say we go find a compartment for the three of us to chat up how our summers were when Gwen shows up ok?" I asked her.

"Ok." she nodded and turned to Remus.

"Thanks." She blushed at him, giving a warm smile, which he returned and said,

"Anytime Phoebe."

We then turned and left, hauling our trunks behind us. We found an empty compartment close to the heads carriage so I wouldn't have to travel too far for the meeting. We loaded our trunks in the racks and sat down.

"I wonder where Gwen is?" She asked, plopping down with a smile.

"I dunno, but I sure do hope she doesn't run into Black." I replied thoughtfully. We both knew the outcome if in fact that, did come into place.

"I agree." said Phoebe, "So did you get Head Girl?"

"Yeah, I should probably go and meet the Head Boy, but I don't want to leave you here all by your lonesome."

She rolled her eyes. "Lily, I promise that I wont go crazy without you. Go on, I'll be fine."

I said a quick goodbye and walked out of the compartment only to be faced with my other friend, Gwendolyn Ackles who was dragging along her younger sister Grendel. She smiled sadistically and shoved me back inside the compartment.

"Can you believe that bloody jerk?" she asked with furry dripping from her face.

"Gwen.." I was cut off.

"I mean can you believe the nerve of that stuffed up, womanizing, egotistical, arrogant git?" she fumed motioning for Grendel to sit down next to me.

"Gwen." I tried again.

"No! The bloody ass, merlin I hate him. He thinks he's so... and I... Gahhhrr! I hate him! Merlin's sweaty balls I bloody hate that man! If that's what you'd call him."

"Yes Gwen, we all know just how much you hate Sirius Black." I told her, she was being rather irrational at the moment, but then hey, that was Gwen.

It was Phoebe's voice that seemed to make Gwen snap out of her rant.

"Yes Phoebs?" she asked still irritated.

"Well maybe you hate him so much because you fancy him and are unable to admit it." Phoebe always did have some wits about her. I guess thats whats so neat about her. Gwen blanched before red flooded her face.

Gwen then screamed in out rage. "WHAT?"

If there was one thing that I knew about Gwendolyn Ackles was her temper. She had a very explosive temper, the type that would take out anyone and everyone that stood in her way if she was upset. She was gorgeous really, she had this long curly golden hair that fell down her back; these bright teal eyes and a sweet warm smile. She was very attractive and many guys lusted for her. Though she always somehow beat them all off with her broomstick every time one of them came near her.

"Well Gwen, really its all of your reactions. There is a fine line between love and hate." Phoebe pressed.

Gwen rolled her eyes. "Phoebs, the day I fancy Sirius Black, is the day the Cannons win the Quidditch World Cup."

I had enough of this.

"Gwendolyn Rose Ackles! What in the world is your problem?"

She turned and looked at me, and gaped like a fish.

"Well... I... I...." she sputtered. "Hey! No full bloody name calling!"

"Gwendolyn, you need to stop this madness, and get to the point please."

She glared at me, I knew full well that she hated her full name being called.

"But Lily he's so insufferable." she whined.

"I know you feel that way, but please, just get to the point of your tirade..."

She sighed and plopped down next to Phoebe.

"Well I was dragging my trunk onto the platform when the git sees me and practically kills himself to get over to me. So I just ignore him like he's the bug that he is and keep walking right. Well before I bloody know it the git is right up behind me and he pinches me in the arse which causes me to drop my trunk on my foot and curse which my mother heard who was pulling along Gren's stuff. Then the bloody prat just smirks while my mum makes me apologize. So after thats done, I storm off all agitated now realizing that I left Gren behind me." she paused for air. "So I go back after her and we get our crap loaded in some random compartment and start to come and find you two when we run into him with Peter in two, then he started to harass me about my pent up sexual tensions and dutifully offered to help me release them."

"What did you do?" I sighed with frustration. I didn't want to give out my first detention to my friend who has just a bit of an anger problem.

She grinned. "Well, what do you think I did?"

"He's not hexed into oblivion is he?"

she chuckled.

"No, I decked him."

It was then that the compartment door slid open and the afore mentioned person stuck his head it.

"Oh Miss Lily, the Head Boy requested me to inform you that your presence is required for the prefect meeting." Sirius smiled with a grin on his face.

I nodded. "Thanks Sirius." I got up and moved to the door.

"Oh." he turned to Gwen. "I did catch the last Cannons vs Magpies match. I do believe the cannons won." he then smirked at her and shut the door behind us.

As we walked away I heard Gwen's deafening scream of rage coming from the compartment as we moved.

"She wants me." his arrogant side showed itself.

"Black, if you'd stop being such a jerk, I'm sure she'd give you a shot." I told him as we reached the heads carriage.

He barked a laugh. "Yeah right. She wouldn't give me the time of day if I were merlin himself."

"She does have her reasons for her hatred of men Sirius."

I then smiled at him and walked into the Heads carriage to find something, well, very unexpected. James Potter was sitting there smiling at me.

"Hello Evans." he nodded at me then turned to the rest of the compartment. "Now since we have aquired our rather late Head Girl, the meeting shall begin."

He then proceeded to hand out the passwords and tell all of the prefects of they're duties. When the meeting is over they all filed out of the compartment to leave James and I there alone.

"So Potter, Head Boy eh?" I asked trying to keep a pleasant voice.

"Yeah, I though that Dumbledore lost his cookies when I'd gotten the letter. I mean if anyone it should have been Remus, he deserves it more I guess. But then I'm sure that Dumbledore has his reasons." he said stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"I'm sure that you'll do fine James." I smiled at him, trying to be nice. Though for some odd reason it wasn't that hard.

"Thanks for the encouragement."

"Your welcome."

"So err..." he paused. "How's life eh?"

"Its well thank you. Umm James?"

"Yeah?"

"What do you say we put our stupid fighting behind us and work together to be _friends_?"

He grinned brightly. "I think that might be a good idea. Can't have two heads fighting a lot right? Not really setting an example for the youngins."

I smiled, he had a good point. And as long as he didn't stalk me and ask me to marry him every ten minutes I think it would work quite well.

"Well we should probably get back to our friends. Heaven knows what would happen if Sirius and Gwen meet up. We just might have two funerals to plan as our first job being heads."

He started roaring with laughter.

"Too true Lily, too true. And I would rather like to keep Sirius's humor around for the future."

"Why ever for?" I mocked.

"Voldemort and his gang of death eating shit faces."

"Oh yes, because Sirius is the cure to all right?"

"Are you mocking me?"

"Well Mr. Potter I do say that I am."

**AN: Well here is chapter the first, as know as Here we stand. Updated and edited and all lovely and stuffs. So err as I'm editing it you might find stuff off about the chapters as I'm still editing it and posting and all that jazz. Just email me and I will clarify all of your questions. As for chapter twenty four, well that's being written, but will have changes.**

**Peace and love!!!!**

**Herb3**


	2. Hiding lovers in the dark

Ok. So thanks to the reviews last chapter. Here is the next.

"The prank! How could I forget! Forgive me God, for I have sinned!" (Sirius being weird)

Chapter Two: Hiding Lovers just the same as we'll be.

When I got back to the compartment I found Phoebe talking to Gwen who had her little sister Grendel sitting in her lap. Grendel was just going into her first year, and was very excited. They all looked up at me and smiled.

"So, Who's Head Boy?" Gwen asked with a smirk. That was one thing she was good at, smirking. I had a feeling she knew.

I looked up at her and said, "James Potter"

"Oh" Phoebe sighed. I had a feeling she was hoping that Remus would get it.

"Yeah. So Gren, are you excited about Hogwarts?" I asked turning to smiled and nodded her head vigorously.

"Gwenie says I'm a Gryffindor for sure" She smiled bright. It was amazing how much she looked like Gwen. She had her same eyes and hair, one could easily tell they were sisters.

"You bet" Gwen smiled warmly at her sister.

"So Phoeb's, gonna make a move on Remus this year?" Gwen asked as I sat down next to Phoebe.

Phoebe's eyes bulged out of her head. It was followed by a deep crimson blush and a smirk from Gwen. It never seized to amaze me how much that girl smirked.

"I don't know what your talking about." She defended herself by draining the color from her face.

"Lily?" Asked Grendel who jumped out of her sisters lap and sat down next to me.

"Yes?" I asked her curiously.

She screwed her eyes up in concentration and then asked,

"What does make the moves on mean? And who is Remus?" she smiled widely.

"Well sweetie, its err, something you'll know when you get older ok?" Told her with an air of factuality, I thought she had bought it. But when I did ask her about it she was in her fourth year, and by that time one knew what that meant.

"Ok" She murmured.

Just then the compartment door slid open and in walked Remus, Sirius and James. Peter wasn't with them, it was odd, I had been seeing less and less of peter for what seemed like months. I guess I'd find out why in the end, but for then I had not a clue.

Phoebe looked up and smiled. Just as she always did, she always smiled, I always just looked, and well Gwen she well she always scowled. But that was a much nicer thing than what she did that day. Gren looked up excitedly and smiled. I just gave a pleasant smile and looked back at Phoebe who seemed oddly happy.

"Hello James, Remus, Sirius" I greeted politely. I remember that day fresh in my memory, it was the moment I had realized how attractive James really was.

"Hello Lily" James greeted me in return.

"How fair the most beautiful women on the train?" Sirius Asked plopping down next tot Gwen who looked as if she was going to murder him there and then.

"Fine Sirius" Phoebe answered with a smile. "And How are you?"

"Oh, Were super" He grinned. "And who might this lovely young lady be?" He motioned to Grendel.

"My name is Grendel, and I'm a first year" Gren smiled. At that precise moment I remember being brought back to my first year when I had just met Gwen. She smiled at me just as Grendel was now. Even now that memory brings me a smile.

"Well Miss Grendel, It is a pleasure to meet you" He said getting up and catching her hand and kissing it. She blushed.

I then looked over at Gwen to see her reaction, it wasn't good. Remus must have sensed it because he sat down next to her to makes sure no one died that day. Gwen was always the character, always. She was the wildest most rage full violently nice person I'd ever met. I know that it seems in the story of James and I's coming seems to be centered around Gwen right now, but at this point in my life it was centered around her anger and hatred of men. But I'm telling you now that it will change by the time I'm done.

James followed suit and sat down next to Remus and Sirius after that.

"So Remus, how was your summer?" I asked him.

"Good Lily" He replied with a smile.

"Lily?" Gren asked turning to me.

"Yeah?"

"So that's Remus?" She asked pointing to the sandy blonde who looked at her curiously.

I smirked and nodded. Gren then turned to Gwen,

"Gwenie?"

"Yeah Dragon?" Gwen Replied.

"Who's that guy you always complain about?"

"That would be me" Sirius jumped up and batted his chest manfully.

"Black don't flatter yourself." Gwen spat at him.

"Oh Gwendolyn, sweet, sweet Gwendolyn. You know that you love me"

"Yeah right Black, I wouldn't give you the time of day, if you were Merlin himself." She fired at him standing up. She glowered at him in fury. It was so much anger that he jumped back from her in fear.

"Look, Ackles, I'm sorry" He told her with round eyes. Anyone could tell that he was scared by his reaction. Sirius Black never apologized.

"Black Just go Jump off of a cliff" She spat at him sitting down in a huff.

Sirius looked pained for a moment, then he sat down next to James quietly. It was evident that she'd hurt him, it shown in his eyes.

I looked up at James who had patted Sirius on the back. We made eye contact, at that moment we both knew, we both knew that those two liked each other. Sirius to arrogant to admit it and Gwen to hotheaded. But we knew just the same, they were hiding in the dark, hiding they're true feelings.

0Oo

When we reached the Hogsmeade platform I jumped of the train and breathed in the familiar air. I smiled and turned to Phoebe, Gwen and Grendel as they stepped off the train.

"Firs' Year's this way. Firs' year's" Came a grumpy haggard voice. I turned and seen Hagrid, our game keeper. I waved at him, he seen me gave me a slight smile and waved back.

"Dragon, Its gonna be fine." I heard Gwen telling Grendel who now had tears in her eyes.

"But Gwenie" She whined.

"Grendel, calm down ok? Look I'm going to go and save you a spot at the Gryffindor table ok. Because you're one for sure ok? I love you, now go with the other first years ok. Everything's going to be fine" She told her sister with a hug.

"Promise?" She asked with a fearful look.

"Promise. Now go ok?"

"Ok"

It was always odd how much those two relied upon each other. Out of all of the years that I've known them, they were like this. It was cute, innocent even. I could understand where they were coming from, losing something dear to them so early on. Gwen gave Grendel a hug and then Grendel took off running over to Hagrid.

Phoebe, Gwen and I went to find an empty carriage. We located one to the back, as all of the others were full. We climbed in and it took off with the others. When we arrived at the castle I smiled with relish, yet sorrow. It was the last time I'd ever arrive at Hogwarts. Phoebe climbed out first, then Gwen, and lastly I did. I wanted to be the last to follow suit, so that I could relish the feeling a bit longer.

We walked into the castle, all three of us had smiles on our faces. I know I haven't really introduced you to my friends and the role they play in out friendship up until now so I will.

Phoebe was the wise one out of the three of us. She was a half blood and gave off a mysterious aura. She was sweet and kind, and was the nicest person you'd ever meet. She would give you the clothes of her back and would jump in front of a speeding curse for you, as Gwen one day would find out.

Gwen was the wild one, she was the life in everything. She had many people that wanted to date her, but she had a hatred for men that excluded Remus and James. But she still had it none the less. When she was ten her father had walked out on her mother. Her mum was heart broken with a sobbing four year old, and Gwen who had to hold every one together. But she still was the crazy on all these years later. She could make a frown a smile in less than the time then it takes to say Hogwarts.

I was the, well for lack of better words the boring one. There was nothing special about me, and I kind of liked it that way. I doubted that there ever would be. The only significant thing to me were my eyes, as James says anyway. They were green, emerald green, but that was it, the most significant thing about me.

The Three of us had met in our first year on the Hogwarts express. We were all different and had different backgrounds. Phoebe was from a wizarding family that had moved to from Egypt back to England when she was nine, Gwen was from a broken pure blood family, and I was nothing more than a mere muggleborn. James always says not to be so hard on myself, but it was true.

When we entered the great hall, I located the staff table and Dumbledore. He beamed at us all with that familiar twinkle in his eyes. His gaze swept the hall. His gaze twinkled even more as it landed on the marauders who were currently trying to put frog spawn in some poor fourth year girls hair. We sat down close to the staff table so that Grendel could have a clear view of us.

McGonagall swept into the great hall with the first years and the sorting began. Gren was the first to be sorted. When McGonagall announced her name she tentatively walked up. I could hear Gwen take in a breath.

The hat just sat there for quite a long time. Gwen was getting restless besides me and Phoebe as time slowly slipped on.

"Gryffindor" The hat finally shouted.

Grendel smiled broadly, Put the hat down and ran over to her sister who had her arms open wide with a huge grin on her face.

"Knew you were one for sure" Gwen said hugging her sister.

The rest of the feast past with a whirl of welcomes and laughter. Dumbledore announced the new D.A.D.A teacher and it was over.

James and I were found by Professor McGonagall who came striding up to us with a brim look on her face.

"Evans, Potter, This way please" She said directing us down a hall way to the left. We walked for a while in silence. James kept fidgeting and McGonagall kept humming. We stopped at a portrait of a man in scarlet robes.

"Password?" The portrait boomed at them.

"Honeydukes" McGonagall said. The portrait swung open revealing a deep crimson room. It was furnished with deep garnet couches and chairs. There was a big fire place in the center, a table was to the right. There was a fire already crackling merrily giving off a nice pine sent.

"Enjoy your stay" Professor McGonagall said turning to leave. She swept out of the room within a second.

James sat down on the couch and closed his eyes. I walked over to one of the chairs and sat down.

"Lily?" asked James with a yawn.

"Yes?"

"Did you mean that you wanted to be friends?"

"Yes James, I did"

O0o

The next morning dawned bright and early. I had been plagued with nightmares through the night. But oddly enough I couldn't remember them. I got up, dressed, grabbed my books and dashed out of my room.

"I ran through the common room and out through the portrait hole. I was hoping to catch Phoebe and Gwen, so I turned to Gryffindor tower. I turned a corner too sharply and ran into Remus.

I had a nice landing, I mean how often do you get to land right on top of a very handsome friend of there's. Even thought I had a nice landing, he I'm sure, did not.

"Hi Remus" I smiled and stood up. I offered him a hand, he took it and stood up.

"Hello Lily. Tell me, how often do you run into people at six in the morning landing fully on top of them?" He smirked.

"Not often." I told him remembering this same situation in our fifth year. I added with a smile, "Only on you."

"Better not let James hear you say that." he smirked.

"Pfft, James cant do anything"

"To you" Remus added. "To me is a different story"

"Remus, this is one odd question, but would you mind answering for me?"

"Depends on the question."

"Why is James being so… well mature?"

"Well He's changed."

"Oh."

Then he said a quick goodbye and left the library. So I turned and kept going on my way to Gryffindor tower.

"Black, Go away" I heard an all too familiar voice say.

"Gwen, why are you such a shrew all the time? I just want to be your friend."

"I'm sorry Black, That's just not going to happen."

"Why, why cant it?" He pleaded with her.

"Why don't you go and ask Rita Skeeter?"

Then I heard her walk away. I turned the corner and seen Sirius standing there with his head bent down. He looked up at me and to my astonishment, had tears in his eyes.

I don't remember why I chose in that moment to become friends with Sirius Black, but I did. I walked over to him and hugged him. We were there for a while, he just lightly cried into my robes, something I never knew he could do. That day we became allies.

The rest of the day was rather uneventful, Gwen was her normal wild self, Phoebe was a bit quieter and well, I just followed the day out.

Classes were their usual boring selves and the week slowly dwindled away. Sirius's mood improved as the month wore on, but he still had those sad eyes when he looked at her in classes. And before we all knew it we were in the midst of October awaiting Halloween to arrive.

**Ok. So the chapter ended badly, but hey it needed to. Have a nice day and I'll try and have chapter three up soon.**


	3. Make me tell you Im In love with you

_**Second half has been added. Thanks for waiting. I hope you all like Read Memoirs of a past life by tazzydan. It rocks super hard**_

**An: Thanks to all of the reviews. They mean loads to me. Here is the next chapter, You should check out A Taste Of Heaven by Twinkles77 and Just Friends by WishfulDreams11. And well Heck all of the people that reviewed have good story's, I've read all of them. Oooh and please read Her. It is my last tribute to Sirius. And on another note, HalfbloodHannah has a kick arse story called And the Story Repeats its self. Here is a link. Thanks to all of the reviews again. Jk is closer to book seven. Boy can I not wait for that. Any way have a good read. Hope you like this chapter ok. And right now my computer is being an wanker. Oh well.** Thanks for the review. I heart Taste of Heaven. Yes in this chapter phoebe will get a rather nice surprise. I'm glad that you like it.

Rae Kitty. Thanks so uber much.

Clueless wanderer: I'm glad that you like the story, Chapter three is now here

Wishful Dreams11. Thank you, here is your update.

Angelina Johnson. It cut off what you said in the review. But that does not matter. Thank you for your review, I'm glad that you liked it.

**And now on to chapter three. Named err, Ahh Yes**

_Chapter Three: Make me tell you I'm in love with you._

When Halloween did arrive the school was in full excitement. On Halloween day there was a trip to hogsmeade planned, that night the normal Halloween feast would take place as well. The school was in a whirl of whisper on what festivities Dumbledore planned for the evening. Some speculated that there would be a candy severing thing(AN I know I just dunno what to call it.) Others said that there would be a band there to play music.

Phoebe however seemed a bit pre occupied towards the end of the month. It was odd to see her so wrapped up in something she kept so secretive.

It was even odder that when the morning of Halloween did arrive she announced that she had a date. So it was only natural for Gwen to go nuts and ask her who it was so that she could give her blessing and for me to squeal and be merry. Even though Gwen wouldn't show it, I knew she was happy for Phoebe.

So when Phoebe left Gwen rounded on me and said,

"Bet you its Remus" She grinned at me.

"Maybe" I told her while pouring myself some Pumpkin Juice.

"Hello Ladies." Came a tenor voice from behind me. Gwen growled and stabbed her banger.

"Morning Sirius" I told him before taking a bite out of my toast.

"Morning Lily, Gwen" James said sitting down next to me.

"Good Morning" I said looking up at him.

Gwen looked at us and smirked, so I sent her a disapproving look. She just rolled her eyes and stuck a piece of egg in her mouth.

"So, what are you lovely ladies doing in Hogsmeade today?" Sirius asked descending an arm around Gwen's Shoulder. She looked up in in disgust and shrugged it of. It did no good however, he just put it right back.

"We dunno" She grunted, her face turning slightly red. I knew I had to do something about this, then a thought popped into my brain.

"Gwen, I've got a date today, I've totally forgotten." I told her trying to look as if I didn't really care.

"Oh" She sounded surprised. "Who?" By this time James, Sirius and Peter were looking at me curiously. I turned to James with a bewildered look on my face.

"You didn't tell them?" I asked seemingly annoyed. He caught on.

"Well I didn't think you wanted them to know." He told me with a shrug.

"What!?" Sirius exclaimed. "And you didn't tell me?"

"Sorry mate, its only a date." He murmured.

"Ok, fine. When I get the girl of my dreams to date me I wont tell you until after the date. Then you'll see how it feels prongs." He put on a fake sob, "How could you, I thought we were friends. And you didn't even tell me? After all I've done for you? And Remus too?" He sobbered again. With a smile.

"Sirius stop being a drama king. And I highly doubt Gwen will ever date you." James smirked at him.

"Who says its her?" He spat.

"Look, Sirius I'm sorry."

"Sirius, I think I know how to make you happier?" I said with a smile.

"Really? How?" He asked narrowing his eyes playfully.

"When I have kids, you can be the godfather."

"_Really_?" His eyes widened.

"Yep"

"Yay" he stood up and went running around the hall.

James shook his head and said, "Lets go ok?" to me.

"Sure, Gwen are you going to be ok? You can hang around with Sirius and peter" I turned to her.

"Sorry, I've got an, erm date" Peter said going red.

"Oh… well just you and Sirius then" I commented.

"Fine" She looked defeated.

"By the way, where is Remus?" I asked the boys and Sirius returned with a gleeful look.

"Date" James whispered with a smile.

"Oh" I said walking out of the hall with James.

"Yeah"

"Sorry I dragged you into this, but those two are so hopeless. Remember when the actually used to be friends?" I asked with a sad smile. It was true, in our first year and up until our third year they were friends.

"Yeah. But don't worry Lil's, what are friends for?" He grinned.

Ooooooo

James and I spent the day in the village. We visited a hoard of stores, Honeydukes for their Chocolates, Zonkos for James's pranking obsession and Skivinshafts so I could buy some new quills. We had, well odd as it was at the time, we had fun. Around Noon we seen Gwen and Sirius walking out of the Quidditch store looking harassed and annoyed. I looked up at James and smiled, he got the message.

We tried our hardest not to be recognized. Ducking behind random people and rubage bins. They headed towards The Three Broomsticks when we seen someone with platinum hair bound up to Sirius and giggle. Gwen looked half ready to kill, she never did like Rita Skeeter much. The girl flipped her hair and batted her eyes.

"Siri Poo" She cooed. He looked at her in disdain, then he put a glare on his face and said,

"Skeeter, go away." He steered Gwen into the pub. However it was in vain. She grabbed Sirius by the elbow and held him back.

"But Siri, I just want to have some fun" She whined

"And I want you to leave me alone." He barked at her with disgust.

James and I slipped into the pub unnoticed and shrugged down so that no one would see us. Sirius and Gwen slid down into the booth next to ours. We both looked at us then smirked, we'd be able to hear their conversation.

"Sorry about her, she cant take a hint" Sirius told her with a frown in his voice.

"Pfft, its fine Black" Gwen said with heavy doubt in her voice.

"I'll go and get some Butter Beer ok?" He said standing up and walking off. He came back after a few minutes with two mugs of steaming hot frothy butter beers. He sat one down in front of her and smiled. She looked up at him and nodded her head at him. They just sat there in this uncomfortable silence just drinking and looking off into opposite directions.

"So, How's your sister liking Hogwarts?" He asked her trying to strike up a conversation.

"She does. She's already made friends" She replied with a smile.

"That's good" He told her matching her smile.

The tension between the two was broken when Gwen stood up and said

"Lets go back to the castle ok? I challenge you to a Chess match."

"Your on Ackles." He said bounding to the door. They left by racing each other down the street. I turned to James.

"Those two are Bonkers" I said sitting up.

"Yeah, Bonkers about each other." We began to laugh.

"I wonder where Remus is?" I asked.

"Date, wouldn't say who though."

"Hmm, wonder who it could be?" I asked with a sarcastic tent in my voice.

"Want to find out?" He asked mischievously.

"How?"

"Come on" He said dragging me out of the pub. We turned down high street and ran to the edge of the village.

"Look" James pointing to a rock. I looked to where he was pointing and grinned. There sitting on a rock was Remus, and to my intense pleasure was Phoebe. They were just sitting looking over the landscape.

"Phoebe?" Remus's gentle voice came.

"Yeah?" She squeaked.

"I, just wanted to tell you that… that I had a good time today" He went beet red.

"I did too" She told him while leaning on his shoulder.

"Well then, I'm glad" He put his arm around her shoulders.

"I am too" She put her arms around his waist.

"I turned and smirked at James, but he pointed back at the rock. Remus and Phoebe were kissing. I looked up at him a smirked even more. He motioned that we turn around and let them have some privacy.

That night the feast was magnificent. It was my last and best one I'd ever have. Remus and Phoebe showed up hand and hand, Gwen and Sirius showed up with an unspoken peace treaty between them, due to their laughter they were sharing together. Grendel and her friend Emmeline Vance showed up with Peter in tow, and the feast began.

It was splendid, I can still to this very moment remember the taste of the chocolate gateau. I miss it so, its so dull here. But yet I remember it all the same. There Is a magic that links us, we can only return when good graces the world and the darkness gives way. We all wish we could go back. Gwen is desperate, she misses them so much. Alice and I have ours but, she doesn't. Gren makes up for it I think, but she still needs him so desperately.

Harry's doing well, he just turned thirteen. I wish I were there with him, James does as well. Sirius will be there with him soon though, so it makes everything a little more ok. I'm worried about him though, living with my evil sister and her whale of a husband. It must be so hard. But until the darkness gives way to the light, we are here, and will remain here.

**Sorry for taking so long Hope you enjoyed**


	4. Cookies, Quidditch and Cookies again

**Chapter Four ooooooh yeah. Hope you all enjoy this as much as I will writing it. Sorry for taking so long I've been really busy. But here is chapter four and guess what? it's the Quidditch match. The first one, and its versus Slytherin. Hope you like loads. Oooh and be aware of great fights and torture of certain individuals Did you know that I like the smile things see o well on to the story ooh and I must do this emo this ok? Love&HeartsHeartsLove&Stars**

**I own nothing, its all Jk's. I swear its her world, I just like to live in it.**

**Sharnie: Thanks a load I'm glad you liked it.**

**Chapter Four: Cookies and Quidditch and Cookies again.**

The days since Halloween had gone bye quickly. Before any of us knew it, it was November and that meant that the first Quidditch match was upon us. James had the team working so hard to win the first match, he even missed a couple of prefect meetings, but I covered for him. So when the morning of the first match dawned I woke up and walked down to the common room. I found Remus sleeping on the couch, he was in a fetal position holding a bag of cookies. I laughed and crossed over to him, I shook him and his eyes flittered open.

"Huh? Sirius stop complaining and eat a cookie" He said looking around the common room. Then he realized it was only me and laughed. "Sorry Lily, I thought you were Sirius. I had to leave last night because Sirius was complaining and brooding as usual." He sat up and popped a cookie into his mouth.

"Why? What was he complaining about?" I asked curiously. He offered me a cookie, I took one and sat down next to him.

"Gwen as usual." He said shaking his head.

"They'll know soon enough" I said finishing my cookie.

"Yeah, its just going to take a lot to push them there." He replied with a mouth full of cookie.

"Yeah" I said.

Over the last two weeks Gwen and Sirius's unspoken peace treaty was broken. It happened one night late last week. Gwen came storming through the portrait hole with tears in her eyes. Gren looked up from her charms essay and asked,

"What's wrong Gwennie?"

"Nothing" She said plopping down onto the couch next to Phoebe. Phoebe looked up from her essay and asked her what was wrong. The only thing Gwen did was mumble and wipe her eyes. We all found out what was just the matter with her. James who had been in a game of exploding snap with Remus looked up as Sirius entered the room.

"Gwen, I…." He walked over in front of her and stopped. He looked at her with such sad eyes, James and Remus shared a pained look and went back to their game.

"You what?" She stood up. They were only a few inches away from each other, one would have thought with the position they were in they wouldn't be fighting but kissing, she gave him a fleeting look and ran up to our dorm. I followed up a few minutes later to find her asleep. Well I knew she wasn't but I didn't say anything and decided to go to sleep myself.

I looked over at Remus who was lost in thought while eating a cookie. I grabbed another one and smiled at him. He returned it and ate another cookie. Then Sirius walked into the room and eyed the cookies, Remus grabbed them and held them in his arms possessively. He glared at him and put a cookie in his mouth.

"What you'll let Lily have one and not me?" He asked pouting.

"Yeah" He said popping yet another cookie into his mouth.

"You two are crazy" I said standing up. I walked out up to the dorm and found Phoebe getting dressed. She smiled at me and when finished walked down to the common room. I pulled on my Gryffindor scarf and headed down after her. I found James waiting at the foot of my stairs for me. He smiled and offered me his arm. I took it and we headed down to the Great Hall.

When we arrived I seen Gwen poking at her food alongside Peter, James shot glares at Sirius who was sitting to peters left. I sat down across from her and pored myself some Pumpkin juice. James sat down next to me and continued to glare at Sirius who was sitting next to Remus and Phoebe. I looked up at Gwen who was still poking at her eggs and said,

"Morning Gwen"

"Morning Lils" She replied half heartedly.

I grabbed a piece of toast and took a bite of it just in time to see someone with platinum blonde hair descend upon Sirius's lap. James who had been taking a drink of his goblet spit it out into Peters face. He sent an apologetic look at Peter and set his goblet down.

"Morning Sirius" Rita Skeeter said with a posh accent.

"Skeeter go away" He barked at her.

"But Ri?" She whined.

"No" He spat at her. She got up and stormed off.

"Bloody Tosser" James said taking a rough bite out of his toast.

I looked at Gwen, she had that same darkened look she had that night. She just kept her gaze on her food. Then it was as if a light had flicked on in my brain, she fancied him. It was unbelievable, I could hardly believe this. The one person that hates womanizers the most falls for the biggest one of the lot, it was simply outstanding. She must have felt my gaze upon her because she looked up at me, and for the first time in what seemed liked days, I looked into her eyes. The spark was missing, they were dull and tired.

"Gwen?" I hesitantly asked.

"Yeah?" She replied in a strained sad voice. It was like she simple died, It didn't make much since to me, why in merlins name was she reacting so badly?

"Do you need a hug?" I asked getting up and walking around the table. I sat down next to her when she answered. She nodded her head and I pulled her into my arms. It was in that moment that Gwendolyn Ackles broke. Completely and utterly broke. She looked up at me that morning before the match and started to cry. It was silent, I was the only one to notice, but that was besides the fact, the fact was that for once, Gwen let her feelings freely flow. Gren walked over and sat down next to her and took over, it was innocent, so beautifully innocent to see two sisters comforting each other. And still it went on unnoticed. I stood up and walked back to my seat next to James and began to finish eating my toast, it wasn't until James looked up from his daily prophet did he realize that something was wrong.

"Whoa, Gwen are you ok?" James asked in concern.

"Yeah" She told him composing herself. She put on a grin and said "Absolutely spiffing"

"Good. Eat up, we've got a game today" he said picking up the Daily Prophet again.

Ooooooo

The match was in full swing, James was scoring goals left and right. I was in the stands, Remus and Phoebe were sitting next to me in the stands. We watched the game with anticipation. I looked back up at the action, Gwen was blocking her goal posts, so far she hadn't let one goal in. Sirius was aiming his bludgers at his brother who was as well a beater on the Slytherin team. The game went on like that for a while and the Slytherins had still yet managed to score a goal. The Slytherin team was seething by now, so they decided to take a bit of revenge, this is what happened.

"And the score cads is Three Hundred and Seventy to Zero." Boomed the commentator. "And Connolly the Slytherin Captain and star chaser opposite Potter goes for the goad, he shoots…… PROFFESSOR THAT WAS DILIBERATE" he yelled. Regulus Black had aimed a bludger at Gwen. It hit her in the stomach and caused her to fall of her broom. James flew over to catch her just as the Slytherin Chaser seen the snitch, he pointed it out to their seeker and went to catch it. It was however in vain, Gryffindor still won the match.

By the time I reached Gwen with Phoebe and Remus and tow. She was sitting on the ground clutching her ribs. James was sitting next to her holding her hand. The rest of the team was huddled around her. They all looked at her with concern, she just had this painful angry look on her face.

"Where's Grendel?" She asked.

"Library. She said she needed to finish her charms essay." Remus told her.

"Ok"

We took her up to the Hospital wing and let Madame Piggly heal her ribs. Sirius who had disappeared after they reached the ground returned with swollen eyes.

Gwen looked up at him when he entered. "Black? What happened?"

"Nothing. How are you?" He asked

"She looked up confused, she had this bewildered look on her face. Then it faded out into a look of kindness and she smiled.

"I'm fine, it wasn't much, how are you?"

"Fine. You feeling ok?"

"What? Yeah, I'm super"

"And I'm a can of cola, what happened?"

"Nothing"

"Why lie to me?"

"I'm not"

"Liar, Sirius what'd you do?"

"I just gave a relative a walloping, that's all"

"That's all? You nearly kill you brother and that's all?"

"How do you know that?"

"Black?"

"Err yeah"

"Mr. Black?" Madame Piggly asked "What in the world happened to you? You've got two Black eyes?"

"Errm well Madame Piggly, I, Well I beat myself up" He replied with a cheeky smile.

"Very well" She sighed. "Come here" she called him over. Then she began rubbing ointment on his eye. A few minutes late it looked good as new.

"There" She tutted then went over to her office.

"Well you should sleep. I'll see you later Gwen" He said walking out of the wing, she looked after him with a silent smile. I followed, and so did the rest of us.

Ooooooo

I was sitting in the common room with Phoebe and Gwen, we were doing an extremely long potions essay on Healing Potions. I sighed and looked up. Gwen was doodling, Phoebe was actually doing her essay and the Marauders were pouring over a piece of parchment. In my curiosity, I stood up and went to see what It was. However when the seen me arrive the covered it up and sent a smile up at me.

"Hey Lily, what's up?" Remus asked with a smile.

"Nothing much, what about you four?" I quirked my eyebrow.

"Nothing. Just studying" Peter said pulling out a bag of cookies and handing them to Remus. Who jumped up and squealed then began to shove them into his mouth.

"You must excuse Remus's antics, he is err, rather fond of cookies" James said trying to pull the bag away from him. But Remus growled and put out his teeth like a dog guarding its territory. I laughed and smiled, then he offered me one. I laughed again.

"What?" Sirius jumped up "You'll give Evans one and not me?"

He nodded his head just in time for Gwen to show up with an amused smile on her face. Then Remus offered her one, Sirius yelled and grabbed it out of her hand.

"What the Hell Black? That's my goddamn cookie" She sneered.

"Yeah, well its mine now" He said while stuffing it into his mouth.

"Oh real mature Black"

"Yeah, it is"

"Merlin your such an ass" She screamed. They some how made it away from us a ways to the middle of the room.

"Yeah, but you know I'm hot" He puffed his chest out like a rooster and smiled an arrogant smile.

"Oh yes, Im sorry. Your soo hot, it makes me want to through you down and have my way with you" She said sarcastically.

"Your just sore you cant have me"

"I will never need a man. I most certainly wont ever have you. Merlin I feel bad for who does end up with you"

"What's that spose to mean?"

"Wow, I didn't know you were that dumb."

"Watch who your calling dumb Ackles"

"Aww, that's ok"

"God, why didn't I keep Skeeter?" He asked the ceiling.

"Well if you want her so bloody damn much go bloody find her you fichkoph" She screamed marching up the stairs to the dorms.

"Merlin what have I done?" He asked.

"Mentioned a slut" James told him after standing up and patting him on the back.

"Yeah, man she even cursed at you in German, you know she only does that when angry" Peter said with a sympathetic smile.

"I better go stop her from tearing the room apart" I said standing up and walking out of the room.

"Night Lily" James said.

"Night James" I replied over my shoulder. "Night Guys"

I heard chorus's of good night from the guys, then I seen Phoebe smile give Remus a good night kiss and follow me. When we reached the room, we found Gwen drawing, something not entirely odd for her. We all got dressed and went to sleep, waiting for the morning to come.


	5. When you take me in your arms

_**I own nothing except Gwen and Gren and Phoebe and Remus's Cookie Obsession. That's all folks**_

**Well hello. Here is chapter five, in chapter five we will meet a new couple, a very rocking awesome Christmas eve, and err more of Remus and his obsession with cookies. Here you are**

**For future Reference**

………………………………

_Gwen_

**Sirius **

………………………………

**Jones: Thanks, its coz I've got a rotten key board**

**Mrs. Suzy Black: I love cookies too. Don't worry there will be plenty of cookies to go around Thanks**

**Chapter Five: When you take me in your arms,…**

The November days slowly turned into December, the grounds became covered in snow. Christmas was upon us, as well as an upcoming Hogsmeade trip. I awoke a fine winter Morning in early December to a radiant smell of pancakes drifting up through the tower. I smiled and sat up, I looked over at Gwen's bed and noticed she was drawing, yet again. She looked up and smiled at me, then she returned to drawing whatever she was currently drawing. I stood up and put some clothes on, then went over to wake up Phoebe who was curled around a stuffed animal. I looked up at Gwen again and realized that that was exactly what she'd been drawing. I shook Phoebe and smiled at her as she opened her eyes. She yawned and sat up.

"Good Morning Lily"

"Morning Phoebe"

"Morning Gwen" She called over to Gwen.

"Morning Phoebs" She smirked.

"I call shower first" I said walking over the shower.

It took me oh, fifteen or so minutes to take my shower and get dressed. I walked out to find Gwen and Phoebe in they're Pajamas, holding stuffed animals, with a bag of cookies, and that meant one thing, Remus.

He was sitting between them with a very bemused look on his face. He looked up at me and smirked, then looked over at the door way where James stood looking aghast. I looked down and realized I was wearing nothing more than a thin tank top and some really, really short shorts. I blushed my ass off that morning. I smiled, well it was more of an attempt to smile, my face still matched the shade of my hair. Then Sirius pushed James through to get in, and started to laugh.

"Well Lily Hun' I didn't know you could dress so, pleasingly" His eyes danced over me. James tore his eyes off of me and looked at Sirius, then he grabbed him by the cuff of the shirt and tossed him out of the room.

"Hey what did you do that for?" Sirius asked aghast.

"For looking at Lily like she's a piece of meat" He yelled at him.

"Well, Remus is in there?"

"And Remus also is not looking at Lily like that"

"So?…"  
"So what. Your not aloud to see Lily like that" He said in a very strong voice. I just shook my head and grabbed a blanket.

"Morning to you three too" I said wrapping it around my self.

"Sorry Lils, Morning" James said running a hand through his hair.

"Yeah, so. How about we go get some breakfast?" Sirius said peeping his head into the room.

"Umm" I pulled the blanket tighter around me "I'm not exactly dressed"

"Well then, get dressed." He told her pushing James aside again and walking into the room.

"Fine, but I need you three to get out" I said plopping down on my bed. "Where is Peter?"

"Erm, well he is. I dunno. Padfoot, do you know?"

"Nope Prongs, I don't. Moony?"

Remus replied with a mouthful of cookie. "Nopffe"

"Hmm" Gwen murmured while standing up. "I'm going to take a nice hot shower. See you cads in a bit" She grabbed some clothes off of her trunk and headed towards the bathroom.

"Do you need any help?" Sirius asked walking over behind her. He put his arms around her middle and pulled her close to him.

Well I excepted that it wasn't the best idea he'd ever had but, well it was Sirius, he doesn't have good ideas. So when she turned around to face him with a lovey gooey smile on her face, I knew he was about to experience some pain, Gwendolyn Style. She kneed him in the balls and slapped him.

"Don't you ever do that again Black or I swear you will get worse" She stomped off into the bathroom.

"Damn" He pouted and plopped down on her bed. Then he sprawled acrossed it, put his head on her pillow and pretended to be asleep. Then he opened his eyes, smirked and shut the curtains.

"Well, what do you say we leave these two dweebs here and get some food once Lily and Phoebe are changed?" James asked Remus.

"Can I bring my cookies?"

"Yes Moony, you can bring your cookies." James said shaking his head.

0Oooooooo

**Fwa……………..**

0Ooooooo

I buttered a piece of toast and poured myself some pumpkin juice. It was the day before the hogsmeade trip, and I found myself wishing I could spend it with James once again. Over the last two weeks, I've found myself staring a James more than I should, but I just cant help it. He is just so nice and sweet and charming and gorgeous and beautiful and ahhhhhhhhh I think I'm in love. This is crap coz right now he's flirting with some dumb blond bimbo from Hufflepuff. Garr. Why, why, why? Merlin why? Well now that I'm officially feeling sorry for myself as James and the bimbo get up and walk out of the hall together, no doubt that, that is his date for today. I sigh into my toast, why did I have to be so stubborn, that could be me right now.

"He Lil's" Gwen says dropping into the chair next to me.

"Hey Gwen" I reply darkly.

"What's up?" She asked concernedly.

"Nothing" I muttered ripping a bite out of my toast roughly.

"Does nothing have the name of James Potter?" She asked.

"No" I said ripping another bite out of my toast.

"Ok. So wanna go to Honeydukes with me?" She asked with a smile. "Phoebs is off on another date with old Remmy."

"Sure" I stood up and we left the great hall. "Little did I know that a few eyes were following me.

We spent an hour in Honeydukes while Gwen bought half of the store out. She emerged carrying ten bags of chocolate. Ten like ten whole bags full of stuff that's going to rot you teeth out. We headed down high street to the leaky cauldron. We were about half way there when a familiar face walked up to Gwen and asked if he could help her with her bags. She smiled and let him, after all, Frank was a cool guy.

"So where are you guys headed?" He asked us.

"Erm, leaky cauldron. You?" Gwen replied to him with her customary smile.

"Me too. Hey I kind of need your guy's help" He said holding open the door to the leaky cauldron.

"About?" Gwen asked setting her stuff down at the nearest table.

"Have you guys seen James Potters date today?" He asked sliding into the booth.

"Oh yeah. Alice Prewet huh?" Gwen asked sliding in next to him. I slid in across from them.

"Yeah, that's her" He blushed.

"Aww how cute, see Frank m'boy Lily here has a huge crush on James and you've got one on Alice. Its cute. Now you two should date and be happy go lucky together" She chirped as Madame Rosmerta came over to us and took our orders. She smiled at me, and no doubt my face was redder then a brick.

"James Potter is quite the handsome young man" She winked at me. That caused me to blush ten times as bad. Now Gwen had adults thinking I had a crush on James. So I decided to retaliate.

"Oh Gwen, have you told her about your crush on Sirius?" I smirked

"Ahh, now that one is more of a catch than James Potter" She patted Gwen on the shoulder. However Gwen didn't blush she glowered.

"I do not fancy Sirius Black" She simply said.

"Of course not dear" she said walking away.

"How do I win Alice over?" He asked with fearful eyes.

"Tell her" I told him. "Its not good to bottle up emotions"

"Lily, look who is talking. You daydream at the poor guy during classes and blush every time he walks by you. Your hopeless." Gwen told me as Madame Rosmerta handed us our drinks.

"Well, what do you expect me to do?" I asked.

"Do the same thing your telling him to do"

"I cant Gwen, I don't think I have that much courage."

"Lily?" Frank asked me quietly.

"Yeah?"

"How about we both tell them."

"Ok" I said. As I said this a loud whoop came from behind me. I turned around and no one was there.

"What the heck was that?" Gwen asked narrowing her eyes.

"I dunno" I replied.

"Hmmm" She murmured. "I'm going to go to Zonkos ok?" She asked dropping two galleons on the table.

"Sure" I told her as she left.

"Hmm, oh crap she left her bags." Frank said standing up and grabbing her bags, he dashed out of the pub after her with all ten bags in his arms. He returned a few minutes later. He said a quick good bye with a smile and dashed out of the pub again.

I sighed and looked down into my butterbeer. Another day with out James. Man it irked me how much I liked the guy I hated six months ago. Then my breath hitched up when the afore thought person walked into the pub with a huge grin on his face alone. His cloak was all lumpy and his hair was even more mussed up then usual. He seen me alone and walked over to me, he sat down and called Madame Rosmerta over. She took his order and gave me a sweet smile. Then walked away.

"So, what are you doing here alone?" He asked taking a drink out of his mug.

"Gwen went to Zonko's, Phoebe is on a date with Remus, Sirius is probably shagging the life out of some girl and you were on a date, so I was just sitting here with Frank Longbottom."

"The Hufflepuff guy?" He asked

"Yeah. What about you. I thought you were on a date?"

"No"

"Really?"

"Uhh yeah, it would be kind of awkward to date you cousin huh?" He looked at me with incredulous eyes.

"She's your cousin?"

"Yeah, has been since my aunt married her father when we were five."

"Oh."

"Why'd you ask anyway?" I asked taking a drink out of his mug.

"I dunno."

"Right. Hey do you wanna go over to Honeydukes with me please?" He asked finishing his Butterbeer.

"Sure" I said as we stood up.

We walked back down high street. But we turned down am alley way just before Honeydukes. I looked up at him oddly, but he just smiled and put his finger to his lip. We stopped at a clearing near the forest, he grabbed my arms and spun me around in a circle. I laughed and smiled, then he stopped and he picked me up bridal style and carried me over to a large rock that over looked a meadow. He sat me down and then sat down next to me. I looked over at him, he was just gazing at me. And of course with me being me, I blushed my hair color.

"Lily?" He asked a few seconds later.

"Yeah?"

"Can I…" He cut off and looked away.

"James, what? You can ask me anything ok. You know that don't you?"

"Yeah Lily, I do. Its just I don't want to lose you as a friend." He smiled a sad smile.

"James?" My voice was betraying me. Oh god, he's going to tell me he's got a girlfriend.

"Lily, I have to well, show you something"

"Sure, you can show me anything, what are friends for?" I smiled, it was fake and I knew it, and I knew he knew it.

"Ready?"

"Yeah." I said.

He leaned forward to me in a second and caught my lips in his. See now my brain shuts down and well, lets just say I was dead, to say the least. But then when I felt him pulling away my brain kicked back In full force and pulled him back. I was happy, jumping, screaming in the inside. He finally did pull away what seemed like ten minutes later, He smiled and I smiled, and we both smiled but I think you get the picture. So I kissed him again and well, that went on for well a while, it got dark and we decided to head back to the castle hand and hand.

I think that day was the best day of my life. It was, really. December moved very quick, before we knew it McGonagall was handing out a list of people who wanted to stay for Christmas. Remus had invited Phoebe to meet his parents, so they were going home for the holiday. Gren wanted to go home, Gwen was going to stay here with me because she didn't want me to spend Christmas alone. James and I hadn't told anyone that we were dating yet so everyone didn't want us to be alone. That's why Sirius stayed, well actually I think it was part, the other part was he wanted to stay behind because of Gwen.

So the day Remus, Phoebe and Gren left, we had a little erm sleep over, kind of? It was of course my idea to hold it to shove those two hopeless fools together. So on the twenty first of December we walked up to the boys dorm and pulled two of the beds together. Gwen had brought a radio packed pull of music and of course chocolate. Sirius and James managed to get a hold of butterbeer and firewhiskey. And I brought pictures, to make fun of people like oh Gwen when she was twelve holding her stuffed bunny and sucking her thumb.

"Hey Lils, come on and sing with me."

"Na, you sing" I told her scooting closer to James.

"Fine, This goes out to one hell of an asshole" She narrowed her eyes at Sirius.

The music came on and I started to laugh, she listened to this song at least once a day.

_**Gwen's Song for Sirius: **_

_I'm gonna make you bend and break  
(It sends you to me without wait)  
Say a prayer but let the good times roll  
In case God doesn't show  
(Let the good times roll, let the good times roll)  
And I want these words to make things right  
But it's the wrongs that make the words come to life_

She spun around in a circle and started up again

_"Who does he think he is?"  
If that's the worst you got  
Better put your fingers back to the keys"_

__

"One night and one more time  
Thanks for the memories  
even though they weren't so great  
"He tastes like you only sweeter"  
One night, yeah, and one more time  
Thanks for the memories, thanks for the memories  
"He, he tastes like you only sweeter"

Sirius began to sing and dance with her. She didn't think anything of it and just kept on dancing.

_Been looking forward to the future  
But my eyesight is going bad  
And this crystal ball  
It is always cloudy except for _

**(except for)**_  
__When you look into the past _

**(look into the past)**_  
One night stand _

(**one night stand off)**__

One night and one more time  
Thanks for the memories  
even though they weren't so great  
"He tastes like you only sweeter"

One night, yeah, and one more time  
Thanks for the memories, thanks for the memories  
"He, he tastes like you only sweeter"

They say I only think in the form of crunching numbers  
In hotel rooms collecting page six lovers  
Get me out of my mind and get you out of those clothes  
I'm a liner away from getting you into the mood, whoa

One night and one more time  
Thanks for the memories   
even though they weren't so great  
"He tastes like you only sweeter"  
One night, yeah, 

**(Whoa) (Whoa) **

_and one more time  
Thanks for the memories, thanks for the memories _

**(Thanks For The Memories)**_  
"He, he tastes like you only sweeter" _

**(sweeter)(Whoa)**__

One night and one more time 

**(One more night, one more time)**_  
Thanks for the memories  
even though they weren't so great _

**(even though they weren't so great)**_  
"He tastes like you only sweeter" _

**(sweeter)(Whoa)**_  
One night, one more time _

**(One more night, one more time)**_  
Thanks for the memories, even though they weren't so great _

**(even though they weren't so great)**_  
"He tastes like you only sweeter" _

**(sweeter)(Whoa)**__

One night, yeah and one more time 

**(One more night, one more time)**_  
Thanks for the memories _**(for the memories)  
**_Thanks for the memories _**(For the memories)**_  
"He, he tastes like you only sweeter." _**(sweeter) (Whoa) **

I started to laugh, She Could be such a screwball some times. They did one last spin and bowed. Gwen took the bottle of Firewhiskey and downed it. The night went on like that for a while, with the two of them singing and dancing and James and I sharing each others company. And the days passed like that until Christmas, on Christmas eve Sirius walked in on me and James snogging in my dorm, so I guess that cat was out of the bag. Sirius got all pissed off and went to find Gwen and bug her, but she was drunk and no one can piss her off when she's drunk.

So we all went down to the common room where Gwen and Sirius drank themselves to sleep together, and James and I just stared into the fire. I stood up and walked over to Gwen and Sirius.

"Hey James?" I whispered.

"What?"

"Wanna take a picture of them like this?"

"Yeah" He walked over to me. And looked down at them, Sirius had an arm protectively around Gwen who was hugging him as they slept. He laughed at them and shook his head. I pulled out my camera from my bag and took a picture of them. Gwen snuggled closer to him and smiled, he just kept hold her. I laugh now that I think of the memory. It was cute that night. James and I walked back over to the couch and fell asleep together.

We awoke the next morning to the smell of the Christmas feast being prepared. I sat up and shook James who had been lying next to me, his eyes fluttered open and he grinned at me. I grinned back and reached down and kissed him, which he happily returned. We broke apart and went to go see Gwen and Sirius.

"Happy Christmas" James whispered in my ear.

"Happy Christmas James" I told him grabbing his hand.

When we seen Gwen and Sirius I nearly tripped, in their sleep their heads must have turned coz their lips were firmly pressed against each others. It was so cute, I ran for my camera again. James and I decided we'd let them wake up themselves and hurried back over to the couch. I picked up and chocolate frog wrapper and tossed it over at them. It his Sirius who jumped up and shook her. She opened her eyes and smiled at him which he returned. Then at the same time they yelled presents and raced over to them, they were sitting in a pile under the tree near the fire. _  
_

**I know its a crappy ending. sorry. Well I hoped you like**


	6. And drive me slowly out of my mind

I OWN ABSOULTELY NOTHING BUT GRENDEL AND PART OF THE PLOT THE REST IS JK'S WONDERFUL WORLD THAT I LOVE TO LIVE IN. REMUS ROCKS MY FREAKIN SOCKS TOO thanks.

Hello all, after tedious decisions that I regrettably had to make, I have decided the outcome of this chapter. It, well I hope you like. To my lovely reviewers that gave me some great feed back I give you what you all want, unfortunately. It is not exactly the way I wanted, but hey? Its what you guys want not me. So to,

Mrs. Susy Black: Tis quite alright, don't worry about it. I have chose A. But thanks for your feedback anyway.

Hoshi Ryuu: Thanks for the feed back. And most unfortunately it is not Peter. Well not yet any way But don't worry, by the time I'm done, he will be. After some serious groveling though.

Tm7: Thanks for the review, I'm glad that you did I personally didn't but hey, I guess that's just my perspective and I respect you for yours. Does your name stand for Tamaki? Coz if so that rocks freakin hard.

Chapter Seven. And drive me slowly out of my mind.

"Lily, I heart you sooooo much" Gwen squealed to her friend. She had recently opened her Christmas present from Lily. Lily took quite a long time picking out her present, but she finally decided upon a black sweater with 'Dreamers Sometimes lie' printed upon the front, then on the back was William Shakespeare. He happened to be her favorite person in history, given her great, great aunt was his friend in primary school. I smiled at her and shook my head, that girl was really nuts.

"I'm glad you like it Miss" I smiled. "Coz we all know that if you could get a hold of his body, you'd become a necrophiliac."

"Ooh posh, you know you love him too" She narrowed her eyes.

"Yeah, he was an awesome playwright, but I would not resort to necrophilism for him." I laughed.

"You two are nuts" James said with a laugh.

"Bloody Nuts" Sirius added.

"Ooh posh Black, you know that you love me" Gwen smiled arrogantly.

"Really? And why was I not informed?" He asked her with danger dripping from his voice.

"Don't get all nasty with me Black." She sneered.

"Well then?"

"Well what?"

"Both of you shut up" James interrupted. "Lily still hasn't opened her presents yet."

"Sorry Lily Bean" Gwen turned to me and smiled.

"Its alright" I smiled brightly. I opened the gift Sirius handed me first. It was a small pocket sized leather bound book with 'Lily Evans' Stamped across it.

"Aww Sirius this is so nice" I smiled. Then a I gave him a huge hug.

"Welcome Lils" He said with his customary charming smile.

"This one is from Phoebe" Gwen said handing me a rather larger present. It turned out to be a nice new Potions book, trust Phoebe to get me a Potions book. I smiled and took the next one handed to me, it was from Remus, it turned out to be a book on Healing Potions. I laughed and smiled, then opened the one Gwen handed me, it was from both her and Gren. It was, well, it was an article of clothing that I'd rather not have James see, so I hid it. It was a nice bright Green Thong.

"Gwen" I said blushing. "What the Heck?"

"Oooh posh you know you want it" She smirked. Again with the smirks, Sirius and his and her with hers, the two were unstoppable.

"What is it?" James asked with intrigue.

"Nothing" I chocked before handing it to Gwen with a smile that said, _'If you show a soul you will die by needles' _she just gave me a fearful look and put it beneath her so that no one could see. Then I picked up the one from my parents, it was a box full of all my favorite muggle sweets. I laughed and tossed a Mars Bar to Sirius who looked at it with wonder then tore into it. Then I opened one from Peter, which turned out to be a nice box of crunchy chocolate frogs, and one from Gren, which turned out to be a hand made sweater and finally one from James. It was a small velvet box with a green bow on top. I opened it and gasped, it was a sliver ring with an emerald in the center of a Diamond. It was very _Slytherinesque_, but It was beautiful none the same. I smiled and gave him a huge kiss on the lips to which both Sirius and Gwen looked disgusted at. Then we broke apart.

"Thanks guys. Now, who wants to go and get some breakfast?" I asked the group. Sirius jumped up and screamed,

"Breakfast" He spun around the room.

"Pancakes" She jumped up and joined him in the frolicking of the Common Room.

"Ok, well I'm going to go and get dressed ok?" I asked James.

"Sure" He said with a kiss. I got up and drug Gwen up with me to get dressed. We emerged ten minutes later dressed in warm clothes. I had on the sweater that Gren had knitted me. We met the boys down stairs and headed to the Great Hall. Gwen and Sirius were shooting glares at each other as we went, due to the fact that James and I were walking hand and hand together. We arrived and took a seat at the one table that had been put out for the remaining students. I sat down next to James again leaving Gwen and Sirius to sit by each other. They kept shooting glares at each other throughout dinner as well, it was getting quite ridiculous for them to be so immature.

After dinner we all trooped back up to the common room to sit by the fire for a while, but we were stopped half way up by Professor McGonagall. She came striding up to us with a grim look upon her face, we hadn't seen her at dinner, and I guess a while later we would find out.

"Miss Ackles, Can I see you in my office?" She said in her stern tart like voice.

"Um" She said in a frightened voice. "Sure" Then she gave us a fearful look and followed the Professor down the corridor. I turned to James and Sirius.

"What do you think is wrong?" I asked seriously.

"Dunno Lil's, I guess we have to wait until she returns huh?" James told me putting his arm around me.

We went up to the common room to wait for her. Time was passing so slowly and I was so nervous, I just knew something was wrong. My thoughts turned to expulsion, how could I survive the rest of the year without her? I couldn't, I needed her to be here with me as much as I needed Phoebe. It was scary really, I didn't know what to do. Around 10:oo she came through the portrait hole sopping wet, had she been out in the snow at this ungodly hour getting drenched? She noticed us and looked up, she was crying, and I didn't know why and I wanted to so badly. She slowly walked over to us and said simply,

"I need to go to sleep" Then she smiled and turned to walk up the stairs.

"Gwen?" Sirius asked her standing up. She hesitated and turned around.

"What?" She asked slowly. What was wrong, I didn't know and I wanted to so badly.

"Can I talk to you?" He asked her slowly, but regardless the answer he walked over to her took her hand and pulled her with him up the stairs to his dorm.

I looked at James and he just hugged me.

(I must change the point of view for the end of this chapter ok? So don't get mad, please??? Herb or rather H3RB.)

_(General Point Of View)_

He slowly pulled her up the stair case hoping that Lily and James wouldn't follow them. She didn't hesitate, she just followed him up with out resist. When they reached the seventh year boys dorm he kicked the door open and pulled her into the room. Once they were in and the door was closed he spun her around to face him and looked into her eyes, he knew what was wrong, he just did. But he wanted to be sure, he had to, so slowly he asked her,

"What's wrong Gwen?"

"They…. They…." She stuttered.

"Gwen, It'll be ok, who are they?"

"Mum, and Gren, they're, they're. Damn it he got them." She started to cry, and he did the only thing he could think of, he pulled her into a hug. She cried into his robe, but he didn't care. He just let her cry and slowly patted her hair, he could feel the loss she was dealing with. She was soaked and would eventually catch a cold, so when she had finished her crying for the time being, he pulled away and looked in her eyes.

"Lets get something dry on you ok?"

She just nodded her head and followed him over to his trunk. He pulled out a large sweater and a pair of boxers, he didn't have much else that would fit her so he just grabbed what he thought would work. She smiled in appreciation and went behind Remus's curtains to dress. She came out a few minutes later wearing the clothes with a very pained smile upon her face.

In the time it took her to dress he had done the same. He walked over to her and took her into his arms, and let her cry once more.

_(General Point of View ends)_

I walked with James up the stairs quietly, so that they wouldn't hear. When we reached the top and entered the dormitory we found them asleep together on Remus's bed. I just smiled and followed James over to his bed and fell asleep with them, I'd find out in the morning what was wrong with Gwen, and I just hoped it wasn't anything too bad, like the loss of her Mother or Sister.

**Aww, I hoped you liked. Gwen's little sister would have to die sooner or later, as well as her mother. But good news, Sirius and Gwen are closer Review please……………Beta anyone??**


	7. So this is what it comes to?

_Danke……… Thanks for the reviews mein freundins. I hope you like this chapter, I was up tell four this morning planning it in meine koph. Sorry to all of you uhh non German speakers, I'm just caught up in it Well anyway hope you like this loads more than I will, I hate killing characters off, and I hearted Grendel so very much too. Oh well though, I'm sure I'll go on no matter what, I fear for the day I've got to kill Gwen, then Lily and James, but well they have to die anyway. So onward with the good stuff called hostess. Oooh and thanks to the very beautiful and talented Wishfulldreams11 for being my new super beta. _

_Rae Kitty: Thanks for the support, you rock super hard_

_**Chapter 7 : So this is what it comes to?**_

"Kiss Me, Kiss Me. Never Let Me Go until you've told me, told me, what I want to know and then just hold me, hold me. Let me tell you that I'm in love with you." He sung quietly into her ears. He then kissed her temple and laid his head back down on his pillow and drifted off into sleep.

………………………………...

Both Girl and Boy lay in a peaceful sleep, holding on the each other so desperately, one would be convinced the world would soon be ending. In all honesty the two were deeply in love with the other, they both were just to proud to admit it. So for the last three years they danced around each other, spinning and twirling, sometimes it was aggressive sometimes it was peaceful, and sometimes, occasionally it was desperate. They both need each other so, they fit together so well. Today would find them asleep together in the Seventh year boys dormitory inside Gryffindor tower. It was the day after Christmas, but it didn't feel so, not at all.

The girl's eyes flicked open, she then closed them tight again, she did not want to leave this comfort. So she snuggled closer to the body laying beside her. Then she hugged him deeply around the waist and laid her head upon his chest. What she wouldn't give to have him, all of him, forever. She laid there listening to his heartbeat, and how it fell into a tempo close to her own. And his soft gentle breathing with the rise and fall of his chest. After a while she lifted her head to see his face, it was still handsome In his sleep. It was peaceful, graced with a small content smile, his smile made one of her own appear upon her face. Then she tentatively reached a hand up to his face rested it upon his cheek, she took in every curve for what felt would be her only and last time. Then she brushed some of his sleep swept raven hair out of his face, and looked at his closed eyes, then brushed her fingertips against his lips and smiled once more. Then she rested her head upon his chest once more and fell back into a light peaceful sleep with her hopeful lover.

It was sometime later when the boys hand flew to the back of the girls head and began to stoke it in the same path that he had the night before. His face grew into a smile and he let his eyes open and take in her sleeping form. She was snuggled close to him with her head upon his chest, breathing a soft rhythmic pattern. It was low and gentle, he loved her so, but he could never tell her. He had hurt her to badly the last time, she would never trust him again. All he could do was just be there with her right now, and just wish. He slowly put his arms around her and pulled her up closer to him so that there faces were so that they're faces were closer together. Then even slower her raised a hand and traced the out line of her face, the jaw line and her eyes. Then hoping she would not wake, raised his head to hers and pressed his lips to hers for a fleeting second. He moved to pull away but the girls hand flew up to the back of his head to stop him. And there they were, kissing, all feelings but love aside.

After a few minutes the two of them broke apart and looked at each other in the eyes. At that moment they both knew that they could not be the '_Hiding lovers in the dark' _that the had been all this time, or the feuding enemies they had been since that day she found him and _that_ girl together. His eyes were such a sapphire blue, and hers such a deep teal, when they met that morning they're identities changed. they could no longer be, Sirius Black player extraordinaire of Hogwarts, or Gwendolyn Ackles, the hater of all men, Remus and James aside. They now were Sirius and Gwen, the two that fell in love during a tragedy, the two that some would one day come to envy. They kissed again not holding back anything, letting all the pint up emotions freely flow, like a river racing in its course to reach its destination.

They pulled away once more, he smiled at her ad tucked a loose curl behind her ear. She smiled at him and reached up and left a kiss on his nose. Then with a wave she remembered why she was there in the first place, her mother and sister were taken away in a single blow. His death eaters had tracked them down, and taken them. A tear rolled down from her eye, he reached up and wiped it away with his thumb.

"Oh Gwen, don't cry. I know how you feel" he rubbed her cheek.

"I just cant believe they're gone."

"Gwen don't worry, we'll get those bastards."

She let out a dry sob and said, "Thanks Sirius. I'm just so sorry." He pulled her close to him, and let her cry's break free once again. She didn't cry as long, she finished a few seconds later.

"Its not your fault" He told her while stroking her hair once again.

"I just cant believe there gone."

"I know, but I promise you that I'll be there for you. _I'll_ get you through this."

"You will?" she looked up at him in disbelief.

"Of course" She was going to let him?

"Thank you" She told him sealing it with a kiss.

And there they were, and there they'd stay.

………………………………

I woke up, it was around twelve, but I didn't have the strength to move, I just wanted to cease. I hated it, everything that It represented. I know I should be happy, but how? Two of the most important people in my life are dead because of some sick bastard that wants to control the world. I have Lily and James of course, and Remus and, Sirius. And just on that fact alone I should be happy, I had him, to me, mine. But how long would that last? And I really don't think that I could take another loss right now, I don't think I can stand to loose him too. And with this war, and his family, I wouldn't be a bit surprised if I did loose him. So I think I'll just cut all the pain out completely right now. I wont show any sign of what has transpired between us, it will all just be a mistake. Yeah that's it, I'll tell him its all a mistake. Break his heart before he breaks mine, yeah, that'll do, cant loose him.

I sighed up at him, he had his arms woven around me tightly, with such a peaceful smile gracing his face, it just hurt even more that I knew I had to do this, there was just simply no way around it, I couldn't get attached to him, to anyone, anymore, I couldn't face the pain. So with a heavy pain holding in my heart I got up, slowly not to wake him. And left the room, left him, and the love I knew would have been there. But to save the rest of me, all that I had left in me, as selfish as it was, I knew I had to leave.

I reached the common room I took a mad dash run up to my dorm. When I go there I found Lily and James asleep on her bed, I smiled at them and walked slowly over to mine, not to wake them. I pulled the curtains shut and climbed into my bed. I layed there for a few minutes hoping he would not turn up. However I was I'll fated in the wish, he did show up, and I pretended to be asleep.

"Gwen?" He asked softly into my ear. I didn't even move. "Then sleep well, I'll see you when you awake." He kissed my cheek and left the dorm. The last thing I remember was a tear rolling down my cheek where he had left his kiss and then drifting into a dull sleep.

**Ahhhhhhhh, I know it wasn't long, but I'm sorry it had to be that way I'm so sad….. I hated to write this, and disappoint you all. If I didn't it would have ruined my plans for the next chapter.**


	8. This was my fate all along?

I own nothing, JK is the master, not I...

AN:: Well my lieblings, I am quite sorry for taking so bloody long to update. I

had finals, my mum was in the hop'ital and I have been extremely busy with random boring stuff that has no meaning. Danke for the reviewers, I'm sorry about chapter the last, It was sehr gemine or very mean, but hey we all know that are lovely Gwenie is extremely bull headed and would never comply to the things her destiny sends to her. Don't worry though, her and the ever arrogant Sirius will be together, soon enough. I first must see where I left off as all good writers do. L/J fluff coming… I think… maybe…. Or maybe not… dunno yet. Ohh and btw, with you my love will have a brand new chapie that I will write as soon as I am done with this one. And to my lovely German peoples, listen to this song, Sonne. By rammstein, it contains stuff for chapter 13 or rather. don't really remember at the moment. And now that you have read this ridiculously long and Grammatically errored authors note, I shall leave.

Danke, Herb3 formerly H3RB ha-ha I now have the name I wanted Wankers….. No I am not German, I just speak it.

Jk owns everything, and its 19 days tell the seventh book. Who wants to bet with me that snape is good and he's going to die saving one of the errr good, other guys? huh? Yeah, you know you want too, he is good. And Beautiful. Oooh and who wants to bet with me that Lily is RAB huh? I think so and Harry's a horcrux? yeah? im excited and hope you are too onwards to, Never Let Me Go. Sorry its taken so long to update

**Falls nur bloss erst mein Liebe , wir kann sein zusammen.**

Chapter The Eighth:

It had been three hours since I had last seen sunlight, and silently I wished that it would be the last that I would ever see, then I could be with Gren and mum. And with a pang of throbbing pain I knew what I had to do, I had to be strong. I couldn't fall like Lily or Phoebe did, I had to be strong for me. I opened my eyes dorm, Lily and James were on her bed cuddling and comforting each other. On Phoebes bed lay Sirius who was sleeping. I sighed and let my eyes close again. I didn't have to want to face the day yet, I didn't want to face the impending funerals I'd have to plan, I didn't want to say good bye to My Mum, or Gren. And I didn't want to say goodbye for the last thing that I held onto, my love for Sirius. So I laid there for hours listening to them move about and talk, and leave and return. I ignored the gentle pokes that Sirius gave me to awake, and I ignored Lily pounce on my bed. Sirius eventually told Lily and James what had happened, and they owled Remus and Phoebe who showed up the following day. I ignored the food they set on my bedside table, and the soft soothing voices that told me that I would eventually have to get up. But I didn't want to, and I doubt that any of them would understand. I was dreading what was to be, what fate had deemed for me. I didn't want it and would lay here in this bed for the rest of eternity if I had to.

The next day I had all but given up on life. All I wanted was to be with my sister and mother. But most unfortunately, I had to face the day. I had to face the impending funerals that needed to be arranged, and I had to face the pity stares my friends would give me. And I hated it.

I opened my eyes to a bright late December morning, James and Lily were sleeping peacefully. Remus was camped out on the floor with Sirius who was clutching my stuffed bunny named bunny-chan. I sat up and padded over to the bathroom where I took one really long hot shower and pulled my composure back to me. I could not be sad on the outside, I had to be strong. When I was done I stepped out of the bathroom and walked over to my trunk where I pulled out some undergarments, socks, my favorite pair of jeans and a sweater. Then I stuffed Sirius's boxers and sweater into the bottom of my trunk. I could at least hold on to something that still smelled like him, so that I could always have something of his by me to remind me of him.

After that I walked back to the bathroom and stripped my towel off of my body and put on my clothes. When I had gotten fully dressed I looked into the mirror, I brushed my teeth and hair, then I dried my hair via magic and curled it like I normally do. Then I walked out of the bath room to see Sirius standing in the middle of the room waiting for me. I sighed, Merlin I was going to hate doing this, but what needs to be done, must be done.

"Gwen, are you alright?" He asked calmly moving towards me.

"Fine, I'm fine. Look Black.. I" I paused. How was I going to do this?

"Black?" he asked in a hurtful voice. "When did we get back to a last name basis."

"Black, we were always on last name basis." I spat heatedly. I didn't mean it, I didn't want to, but I had to be strong.

"Gwen, I thought?" he stopped. He got a look of embarrassment on his face and he pushed it back.

"Thought what? I was sad, you cant honestly believe that I'd actually forgive you. Oh dear, it looks like you did." I laughed, cold and cruel.

He just stared at me, then, he glared. I knew my work was done, I had voluntarily given up the last thing I cared for, the last thing I would need to get through this.

"Fine" he glared at me, then he turned heel and marched out of the room. And as he did, my heart broke, again. I walked over to the door, pulled on my mask of cold hatred and faced what needed to be done.

It has been two weeks since Gwen's parents died. She's doing, well surprisingly well, for someone who just lost her family. Phoebe and I are trying our best to keep her up and happy, but we were failing miserably. Her Mothers and sister's funeral went well, no other deaths that i knew of. And I still couldn't figure out what had happened between her and Sirius. They were being their normal cold, mean, and hateful selves to each other. And I know that they spent that night together, comforting each other. She obviously forgave him for a brief moment in time, or she would have kneed him where it hurts the most for being so close to her. And in classes, when he wasn't looking, she'd just gaze at him, with eyes full of longing.

Shortest chapter ever? Yeah I know. But hey, I felt compelled to at least update Hope you liked it.

Herb3

btw 9 days tell ootp I heart Snape... and sirius And im super sad that he has to, well, you know.


	9. Fur Alle Tage: Always

_Disclaimer……………………….I own nothing but Gwen, Phoebe and all that they are…………… JK. Btw, I hate the last book………………….. But I will always remain a happy harry potter fan up until the end of book six when all was right in the universe. _

_I hope you all liked Deathly Hallows. There may be minor spoilers here, I will keep on with this story and only as it comes to a close will I make the changes. There is only one small change in this fic, Severus Snape is Lily's hidden friend. Gwen, and Phoebe are still here friends, but I will add Mary Macdonald as a sixth year girl. Have fun, and I am sorry I gave two err kind of spoilers away. I'll shush now. Have fun and to those that will keep on with Never Let Me go, thanks, I'll keep writing if you want me too. _

_Fur Alle Tage: Always or for all days_

Chapter Nine:Fur Alle Tage.

_Dear Grendel and Mother: _

_I miss you so, and I want you to know that I'll never forget you or mum. I wish I could be there with you, I wish that I could never feel this pain of loss of you, but as Professor Dumbledore tells me, as long as I keep love and your memory in my heart, you live, live within me. Mum, you were so wonderful, even after our father walked out on us all, even though you were all you had, and we yours. I'm going to miss your delightful smile, your perfume that follows in your wake. Its hard to write this, to pin what I feel inside, but I cant say it, and I cant let anyone get close to me, I cant loose anyone again. I spend my nights either sleeping or talking to the headmaster, he's helped me grieve some, helped me realize that I cant keep much more bottled up inside me. Lily and James are such a big help, they've been like parents to me the last few weeks. Making sure that I eat, do my schoolwork. Don't get me wrong mum, your always going to be my mum, and I'm always going to miss you, but I need someone to help me through this, and as I… as I…. wont let him, I need them. Remus and Phoebe have helped me immensely too, Phoebe and Remus take the notes that I miss when I drift off in lessons. They're like my family really, all that I have left in the world. Father hasn't made contact, but why would he? Really? I mean I'm only a sixteen year old witch that has just lost her sister and mother to some evil bastard. Who needs me? He doesn't, that's for bloody sure. But I don't need him, nor do I want him either._

_Its around the beginning of February now, the love holiday creeping upon the castle, you'd love it Gren. I miss you so, you were my little sis, my little sis. And now you've been ripped away from me, ripped from a life you could have lived happily. I'm sorry I couldn't be with you, that I wasn't there, I should have been, I should be dead. Every day I wake and know that I cheated death, cheated it one of the many souls I should claim in its new cruel reign. But I do know that I wont live through this war that has loomed up in front of us. I will join you in time. I just wanted to tell you both that even though your gone from this earth, gone to the land beyond it. I will remember you, always. Looks like Lily's back from her daily visit with Snape, I still don't know why she hangs out with that creep. Anyway, I'm going to go for now, I hope all is well._

_Love, With all that I am,_

_ Gwendolyn Rose Ackles._

I sat the quill down and walked over to Lily who had just returned form wherever she was with Snape. She was sitting on a table reading a recently pulled out book. Her hair was pulled back into a bun and she had an air of sadness around her.James was gone, all of the marauders were. And I wonder if that's why she is so sad. James obviously didn't approve of Snape and Lily's Friendship, I could be sure if I was either, twas kind of creepy.

"Hey Lils" I said sitting down next to her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She sighed and burrowed her nose into the book farther.

"Lily, I'm here if you need me." I smiled tentatively at her.

"Aren't you still grieving?" Her eyes looked up at me over the thick book.

"I've gotten help with that. Between you, James, Phoebe, Remus and Dumbledore, I've gotten better."

"Dumbledore?" She asked confused.

"Yeah, I've gone to him lately to get some feelings out."

"Why Dumbledore?" her voice carried heavy tears on it.

"I didn't want to bother you any further is all, you've already been there for me so much. We decided to write out my feelings and send them away to them. Well, not really, but to send them off as if they were going to them. That's what this is." I held up my letter incased in an envelope.

"Oh, I understand." She sighed again.

"What's wrong Lily, I might be able to help." I smiled at her.

"Its, Severus. He, and I wont be friends much longer." a single shredded tear escaped her eyes.

"Why? What's wrong?" I asked worried. I'd known for years that her and Snape held a secret friendship that was only met once a month when the moon was full high in the sky.

"Did you hear what Micluber did to Mary Macdonald the other day?" tears were dripping in her voice.

"Yeah, was really horrible wasn't it?" I sighed as well. He had terrorized the poor girl in a dark deserted corridor, gave her a scar that would never heal.

"He's chosen his path, and I have mine. I will be with the side of the light when this is all over. And I fear that he, well, he's going to be a death eater." tears literally broke from her voice and eyes. I pulled her into a hug and let her cry.

Twas a few minutes later that Phoebe came down from our dormitory fully dressed with a heavy traveling cloak on. She stopped in front of us and sighed.

"Lily dear, He will see reason one day. You've just got to give it time." her soft voice calmed lily slowly down.

"Lils', I've got to go and send this letter off." I stood and walked over to the portrait hole.

"Alright. See you Gwen." She smiled and picked her book back up.

"Gwen, do you mind if I come?" Phoebe asked walking swiftly over towards me.

"Sure, Lily?" I turned to her.

"No, I'm going to just read ok." she smiled.

"Yeah, alright." I said as the portrait hole swung open and Phoebe and I Departed.

We walked in silence for a few minutes. Phoebe was her usual quiet self that walked on in confidence. When we reached the owlery, I walked in to find my tawny owl named Serpius, however he was nowhere to be found. I turned to Phoebe confused.

"Where is Serpius?" I asked her in a low fearful voice.

"I really dunno Gwen, you can use Remus's if you want?" She told me walking over to a handsome golden owl. "Hello Romulus." she petted the birds golden feathers. "How are you?"

He hooted and flew on top of her arm. She chuckled and smiled. Romulus, this is Gwen, Sirius's friend." the golden owl glared daggers at me. "She's Remus's friend too." she soothed it, and its glare soon receded. It flew over to me and sat on my shoulder.

"Well your too cute aren't you?" I asked it. It hooted again and flew swiftly to the window ledge.

"He must like you." she replied at the owls strange movements.

"Sure" I smiled. I walked over to it and tied the letter to its legs. It smiled softly at me and nipped my hand affectionately. "Take this too.. err… well, take this to someone you trust." I told him with not much else to say. I didn't know who Serpius took my letters too.

"Pad's we've got to get to moony, he needs us." came the close voice of James Potter.

"I know Prongs, its just that I need to be here tonight ok." He sounded albeit annoyed.

"Phoebe, here. Quick." I pulled her into a broom cupboard.

"Why? What's so important that you have to miss transforming to be with moony?"

_'Transforming?' _I thought cautiously. _'What?' _

"Look, I'm waiting for something ok." Blacks voice seemed annoyed.

"What? Has this anything to do with those random letters you get?"

_'Random letters?' _

"Yes ok. It does."

"That's why were here then?"

"Yes, it is." He told James while scanning the owl stands.

"Who are you looking for?"

"An owl."

"What does it look like?"

"It's a tawny one."

"Err, Sirius, there are a lot of tawny ones, Just use Romulus. Remus isn't going to mind." he turned to find Romulus.

"No, I don't need to send the message. I need to receive it."

"Alright. Well its obvious that its not here ok. So lets just transform and go to Moony ok. I didn't just ditch Lily to go off with Snape for nothing."

"Fine Prongs, Fine." they left the owlery together.

"Transform?" I asked confused. "To go be with Remus? That makes no sense." I sighed exasperated as we untangled ourselves from the broom cupboard.

"Well, it must mean something, I just don't really know Gwen. Lets just go back to Lily ok." she made her way to the door.

"Nah, you go. I'm going to go for a walk." I sighed.

"Are you sure? You could be caught you know."

"Yeah, I do. But hey, what is life without risks ok?"

"Alright. But do come back in one whole piece ok?" she stood waiting for my answer.

"Promise" I smiled as she left. "Now" I said aloud to myself, "Transforming? Whatever could that possibly be? And to be with moony? I'll guess that I have to find out what this adventure might be of there's." I hummed and skipped from the owlery into the confines of the darkness that held all the secrets.

The moon cast an eerie shadow behind me. The two feuding marauders were just ahead of me when they suddenly disappeared. In they're place stood a magnificent stag and big burly black dog. The stag jumped off into the cloaks of darkness around the whomping willow. The dog was about to bound off after its friend when a slight breeze stoke up and swished my hair about my head. The dog sniffed the air as if it smelled something delicious, like an apple pie that had just been baked and was setting upon the window seal to cool. It sniffed deeply once more when a loud howl echoed the grounds of Hogwarts. A werewolf. I then suddenly realized that the howl was getting closer, and closer. The large dog sniffed the air again and took a running strait at me. It stopped just in front of me and yielded its large canine teeth and gave a loud bark. I yelped and fell back, the dog barked again and indicated for me to go back to the castle. I stood and began walking swiftly over to the oak doors. It occurred to me, that the large dog that was trailing just behind me urging me towards safety was Sirius Black, the large magnificent stag James Potter, and the werewolf that was following us and relatively close range was Remus Lupin.

Heartache ripped through me, poor Remus, twas so sad. I knew he got sick once a month, but this? This was horrible, just cruel. To happen to such a wonderful person, a talented and loyal friend of mine. The dog barked louder at me as we neared the oak doors, the raging howl just behind us now. Fear soon overtook my heartache and swallowed it whole. I was about to die. But wasn't dieing what I wanted, did I not want to be with Gren and Mum again? Maybe I should just stop here. But then Remus would be so sad, I couldn't let him live with the knowledge that he'd killed me. He'd get expelled and cast out of wizard society. I could never live with that on my conscience, he was too good of a friend of mine, I'd never be able to let him take fault for my sorrow. I'd hurt all of those who cared about me, Phoebe and Lily. James, and well, Sirius.

The dog barked louder as I reached the doors, I gave a large pull on the handle, they were locked. I looked at the dog in horror, they were open when I'd come down. The dog started growling viciously at something that was behind me, I turned and there stood a raging werewolf, amber eyes, light honey colored fur. There stood Remus Lupin, Moony, the werewolf reading to rip my life into shreds. I looked at him in horror, how could I do this to my friend, I should have listened to Phoebe, I should be up in the tower consoling Lily, but yet here I was, ready to die because of some stupid mistake I'd made. Oh poor Remus, poor sweet, sweet Remus, how could I have done this to him?

"Remus?" I said soothingly, "Its alright, you're a really nice werewolf huh? Just calm down." I squeaked. The growling dog was looking at me with a mixture of rage and confusion. A second later, the dog disappeared and there stood Sirius Black.

"Gwen, get your wand out very slowly ok?" he whispered to me with his eyes locked on Remus the werewolf.

"Alright." I squeaked and pulled my wand free from my cloak.

"Now listen, were going to send a stunning charm at him ok. He wont be effected that much, but just enough for you to get to the Quidditch pitch ok. James will be there waiting for you ok, he'll take you somewhere safe ok?" his eyes remained locked upon Remus the Werewolf.

"I'm sorry Sirius. I didn't mean to… I didn't mean for this to happen, I was taking a walk to clear my head, I'm so sorry."

"It's fine. Now on the count of three ok. One……… Two………… Three……….."

"Stupefy" our voices cried together. Remus was knocked into oblivion for a moment. In a flash Sirius was a dog again and I took off running to the Quidditch pitch. I didn't stop running the whole entire time. When I had arrive James was waiting for me in his stag form.

"James, I'm so sorry ok. I swear I didn't mean any of this." I squeaked.

It nodded its head and motioned for me to climb upon it. We took off from the pitch in the direction of Hagrid the gamekeepers hut. When we got there I dismounted and banged on the door. He opened and looked at me in confusion, then James came around the corner and ushered us all into the hut. We sat down quietly at the table, he sighed and spoke.

"I cannot stay long ok. Gwen, Remus is going to be hurt that you know. Please do not judge him, it was Greyback when he was a boy, he never wanted to hurt anyone, he just wanted to lead a normal life." James spoke quietly.

"James, I love Remus like a brother. I could never judge him, I feel so bad for this, so horribly bad. Please let me tell him that I know, I want him to know that I care and that I'm here for him." I squeaked.

"Alright. Padfoot should be here soon, Hagrid, please tell no one." James looked nervously up at the large burly man.

"Alrigh James, wou'nt say a fing'" Hagrid told James with a smile.

"Good, Gwen. We will come and get you when you can go back to the castle. I bet Lily is going nuts with the thought of you not returning." James stood and walked to the door.

"Alright." I smiled tentatively.

He returned the smile as a knock sounded upon the door. He pulled it open to find Sirius.

"Ok, he's back up at the shack, Peter is with him." he walked in exasperatedly. He rounded upon me with the most venomous glare, I recoiled and practically fell out of my chair.

"Why?" he whispered deadly.

"I…"

"Do you know what he's going to think when he finds out that he almost killed you? Do you?" he spat.

"I wont let him think that, because no ones going to tell him." I spat back at him.

"Oh really? And did you come to this conclusion on your own?"

"No Padfoot, we did." James spoke softly.

"He'll hate us." He said angrily to James.

"So, so what if he does. He dosent need to know this, not yet he doesn't." James replied with a shrug.

"Fine." Sirius growled and marched back to the door, swung it open and left the hut. I started to tear up, I didn't mean for this all to happen.

"Gwen, just calm down ok. He'll be only mad for a little while." and with that he followed Sirius off into the darkness.

"Well, less get'cha some sleep alrigh?" Hagrid asked.

"No, that's alright Hagrid. You get some, I'll be alright ok?" I squeaked with tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Alrigh'. But don' leave alrigh' James'll have me head. Sirius to" He said thoughtfully.

"I wont Hagrid." I smiled softly through the curtain of tears that surrounded my face.

"Nigh' then" He walked over to his bed that was through the little hallway and shut his door.

I didn't know where I was, all I knew was that it was morning light. I was being carried somewhere and there was a little felt surface above me. I opened my eyes and struggled to see who my carrier was, to my shock and slight confusion it was Sirius. He looked down at me with a little bit of anger in his eyes that was mixed with a thoughtful expression. I shuddered and tried to shrink away. However it did little good as he was carrying me closely. I reached up to touch the felt above my face, it was slithery and silky, and to my astonishment, it was an invisibility cloak. I suddenly hiccupped and he looked down at me once again, the anger was slowly leaving his eyes, there was only a little tinge of it now. He sighed and spoke.

"Gwen, why'd you follow us last night?"

"I… I dunno. I wont tell a soul, I swear."

"I know, I know. He's not going to be too happy when you tell him though." he sighed again in sadness.

"Well, I'll beat him tell he realizes that he's still a good friend." I tried to smile. He smiled slowly back and said softly,

"I'm sorry I was so mad last night."

"It's alright. You had every reason to be mad."

"Want to walk now? No offense Gwen, but your not that light ok?" he smiled.

"Sure, I was wanting to anyway." I smiled again.

"Cool" He laughed and set me upon the earth carefully, to ensure that we were both remaining under His Invisibility cloak.

"Nice cloak." I said as we began to walk again. We were near the oak front doors.

"Its James's, not mine."

"Well, James has an neato cloak." I laughed.

"Yeah, I'll pass the message on" We had reached the castle, we opened the door and walked into the entrance hall. We walked in silence until we reached the fat lady.

"Password?" She asked us softly after Sirius slid off the cloak.

"Turtlenutt bubble pants" Sirius said with a grin.

"When did the password change that?" I asked him with a laugh as we walked into the common room.

"Gwendolyn Rose Ackles, where the bloody hell have you been. And who the bloody…." Lily stopped as she seen Sirius.

"What?" I asked confused.

"Why the bloody hell didn't you tell me that?" she asked with fire in her eyes.

"Tell you what?" I asked even more confused. Why is she, what? Oh, it suddenly dawned upon me, she thought that..

"Lily, it's not like that." Sirius said with a stony face.

"Right." I supplied with a smile. "Now I'm going to go get ready for classes ok?" I asked walking over towards the girls staircase.

"Alright." Lily smiled.

"See you later Ackles" Sirius said with a kind smile that told me he'd wished I'd not go.

"See you Black"

Ok………… this ends chapter nine, the next will be Remus's reaction and Phoebe's discovery of Remus the Werewolf. Don't worry, it'll be wicked, promise. I hope you liked this chapter, I felt the need to tell the story from Gwen's prospective due to I never do. Don't worry, her and Sirius will be fighting again before long, guess who gets her letters to her parents, even though she used Romulus. Hope Book seven was good for you, see you next time, I hope to have the next chapter up soon

Love X 1000, Violetpastprime

Here's a little smiling thing for ye!

When I do count the clock that tells the time,  
And see the brave day sunk in hideous night;  
When I behold the violet past prime,  
And sable curls all silver'd o'er with white;  
When lofty trees I see barren of leaves,  
Which erst from heat did canopy the herd,  
And summer's green all girded up in sheaves,  
Borne on the bier with white and bristly beard,  
Then of thy beauty do I question make,   
That thou among the wastes of time must go,  
Since sweets and beauties do themselves forsake  
And die as fast as they see others grow;  
And nothing 'gainst Time's scythe can make defence  
Save breed, to brave him when he takes thee hence.

Sonnet Twelve William Shakespeare


	10. You Are My Sunshine, in a good way

_Chapter Ten: You are my sunshine._

_Author: Violetpastprime_

_Email: or All… Thanks for the reviews, _

_To An Aspiring Author: __Yes, Gwen is ok… for now Remus will be mad, but well, he'll get the message._

_To Call Me Green Eyes: __Yeah, Remus Will freak. Cant quite tell you that though. Maybe he is, maybe he isn't. I'm sure you know anyway. But some secrets will be kept up just yet. _

_To Other Reviewers: __Thanks _

_Have Fun with this one, its going to be rather, err fun to write. This might or might not be valentines day, I've been planning that chapter for a load of time now, actually since I started to writing the story. It will be err breaking though, the moral of other people. This is in Gwen's point of view once more…………………_

Chapter The Tenth: Du Bist Mein Sonnenschein: You are my sunshine

February crept upon us quicker that January did, and in no time at all Valentines day had arrived with its crepe paper hearts and chocolate grams that the first years traded with each other. Sixth and seventh years would snog in hallways and emerge with rosy blushes upon their cheeks. White sheets of snow had permanently settled themselves upon the grounds for the winter, and regular snowball fights were staged daily with steaming cups of hot coco after. Gwen kept up her regular letters to her sister and mother, never knowing who received them, only knowing that they got sent. Serpius returned after a fashion, he'd been out to find a mouse or two for snack.

On the morning of Valentines day, I awoke to a frosty cold air. It was damp and crawled all the way down to my bones. I got dressed and slipped on an extra sweater, then fastened my cloak and pulled on my gloves. I walked down into the common room to find Lily and James each looking goofily into each others eyes. It was all mushy and lovely dopey. It made me chuckle and leave to find Phoebe. However I found her all coupled up with Remus who just beamed at her like a baboon with the most desirable banana in front of him. I just sighed and kept on walking to the desired place that was the great hall. I reached it without other distractions, I sat down near Sirius who was reading the daily prophet next to Peter Pettigrew. He looked up at me, gave a kind smile and continued on with his reading of the Daily Prophet.

Ten minutes later James and Lily came down and sat in the branch between us. James pulled a platter of eggs over to him and began to shovel some upon his plate. Lily was looking at him with an amiable expression on, he picked up his fork and started to cram his mouth with eggs and pieces of bacon. He then choked upon his food and spit it out onto the table. He was met with raucous bouts of howls and laughter. He smiled his perfect Potter smile and laughed with them. Lily gave him a pleasant pat upon the back and vanished the undigested food with her wand. Sirius jumped up and gave him a clap upon the back and roared with laughter.

"Happy Valentines Day Prongs." He giggled like a school girl. Then he dropped to one knee, pulled out a bundle of flowers from his pocket and handed them to James.

"Pads…" But Sirius cut him off.

"James, I've been waiting to tell you this for a while, But Prongs, I think I'm in love with you!" he gave a high pitch giggle and flicked his hair behind him.

"Sirius, What the hell?" James gave him a slightly amused look.

"Uhh, What's going on here?" came Remus's voice from behind me. He had Phoebe's hand in a tight hold, they both had amusingly confused looks upon their faces.

"Oi, Moony. Its my other love, Remus I love you. Wont you please be my valentine?" He jumped up and swung his arms around Remus's shoulders.

"Uh, Padfoot. Are you ok?" Remus sounded slightly worried.

"Of course I am. Now, lets you, me and James go and have a nice little naughty pow wow up in the dorm? What do you say?" He jumped up and down like a child wanting candy. It was getting harder at each second to contain my laughter. Phoebe and Lily were both looking on aghast, James and Remus with a dawned look of realization. And with that I got lost in a fit of loud giggles that the whole great hall turned to observe. I'd assumed that the scene look quite humorous, Sirius with his arms wrung around Remus while holding James hand.

"Uh Gwen? Are you ok?" It was Peter, he'd come up to the scene with a watery look in his eyes.

"Oh Peter. Of course." I laughed on last laugh and sighed. My friends were so humorous sometimes.

"Well, Gwen you know. I was just wondering, what do you say to a long walk upon the grounds?" Sirius had detached himself from Remus and James to walk over to me.

"Why?" I asked my cheerful charade lifting lightly.

"Well, I guess we could have a heart to heart? After all it is valentines day." He grinned at me. He could be such a goof sometimes, so animatedly funny, and that was why I loved him.

"Sure." I said with skepticism painfully in my voice.

"Cool. Um do you want to go now, or later?" he ran his hand through his hair.

"Now is good if you want?" I was a little bit curious to this however. Why was he being so, err weird about it.

"Wicked. Lets go!" He exclaimed at me. He jumped up grabbed my hand, gave a wave to the others and dragged me from the hall.

………………………………...

We walked for a while, I pulled my cloak about me tight and watched the snow fall down upon our heads. His shiny elegant black hair was speckled with white flakes. He'd shake them out every few minutes and smile over at me. I just let the ones that I was sure were building up in my hair stay. We walked about the grounds in comfortable silence, enjoying the winter air around us, the air that was so dead and so full of life. Winter was when everything was asleep, when every thing was growing inside.

"Gwen, there is something I need to tell you." he spoke softly.

"Ok. I kind of thought that's what we were walking for." I replied with apprehension.

"Gwen, I've been… At first I really wanted to tell you. I knew you were grieving and I knew that, that was the only way for you to do so. I never thought that they would go to me. At first I thought they were for Moony, or James, Not me. But they came back every time, they came to me." He stopped and turned towards me.

"Sirius are you saying?"

"Yes Gwen." He cut me off. "I am. You see, I didn't want to lie to you, to betray you again. But you were hurt and I couldn't hurt you more."

"They… you…. Read… But?"

"Gwen, I am sorry. I know how hard this is for you, that you need to tell someone, you need to write to someone to keep their memory alive. But Gwen, if you keep them alive in you heart, they'll never go away." he took a step closer to me.

"But I?…" I was speechless, I knew they had to go to someone, but why him? Why the one person it killed me every day for hurting, the one person whom I loved and could have had.

"Gwen, I've told no one. I couldn't betray you again, I've already done that enough times. I care about you way too much to hurt you, not again." he raised his hand to my cheek and ran his hand down it.

"Sirius, I…" How could I tell him this. Tell him that I could never love him, or at least, love him, but him never knowing.

"Gwen, I cant take this anymore. I know you felt it, because I felt it too." he stopped and realized his words. He obviously didn't mean to tell me that, never wanted to let it slip.

"Look, I… Sirius, I'm just…"

"No. No more lies. I know everyone you've ever loved has left you. I know he has taken them, but you cant spend you entire life living in that sadness. You have to live, they would have wanted that, they would have needed you to. Don't through it away." He put his hands upon my shoulders.

"I don't know what to do. How could I know?" tears were starting to leak from my eyes. He was being so thoughtful, so right, so unbelievably understanding that it killed me.

"Gwen, there is only one thing for you to do, let me in. I can help you, I want to. Gwen I _need _to." he pulled his arms tight around my shoulders. There was only enough room for me to look up at his handsome face, the face of the man I loved, and knew that I had to hurt again.

"Look… I don't.." I tried to get the words out, but I was cut off by his warm lips crushing upon mine.

I tried to break away, tried with all the strength in me to shove him away. But I couldn't, I just physically and mentally couldn't. I fell into the kiss, became wrapped up in it, so tightly wound around it that I didn't even realize the tears that streamed down my hot cheeks. He kissed them away as a new wave of them washed down after. He kissed those away too, with tenderness and all that could only be love. He hugged me to his chest and let me empty my tears. And after a while they too receded, all that was left were to people, so in love with the other that all else seemed to disappear.

"Gwen, I love you and I will fight you for you." he made me look up into his slate blue eyes.

"I don't want to loose you. Not you too." another tear skipped down my cheek.

"How could that ever happen. I wouldn't let it." he kissed the last tear that I vowed to shed for that day away.

"You think my Mother or Sister wanted him to kill them. They had no choice." I stammered.

"But I wont let that happen."

"Or what if another Skeeter came up, and left me for her?"

"I wouldn't do that, not again!"

"What if you leave me just as my Father left my Mother?"

"I wouldn't."

"And how in the world would I know that? You've already did that to me once!" I backed out of his arms.

"I have already hurt you one to many times Gwen, I'm not going to do it again, I promise." his eyes held truth, he wasn't lying.

"Promise?" I squeaked.

"Yes Gwen, I promise, I swear I do. I want you and only you. I want to bring you up, I want to love you." he was sincere. Only a fool would refuse, only a fool would run away. But they always did say that fools fell in love, and I was the biggest one of all, I'd been running all of these years that I knew I loved him. He stepped forward once again and grabbed me in his arms. He placed a kiss sealing our souls upon my forehead, it was so amazing to me. We started to walk about the snow covered grounds again hands linked tight, as if, if we ever let go, we would never find the other again.

Unbeknownst to us, two pairs of eyes had watched the whole thing.

"Skeeter?" James whispered quietly to Lily sitting beside him.

"She did hate her starting in fifth year. How come they never told us?" Lily whispered back at him.

"He hated her about that time too, always ran from Skeeter."

"Well, its finally been done. Give in two days and the whole school will know." Lily gave a small discrete laugh.

"Some Valentines day huh?" he swung his arm around his girlfriend.

"You bet love, you bet." and with that they left the bush they'd been hiding in to go up into the warm confines of the Castle.

………………………………...

Yay!! Chapter ten up! Sorry it took so long, I've been away at band camp playing my Mr. Sexyphone, aka my tenor sax! Well hope you liked, any feed back?


	11. I'll be there for you

_An Aspiring Author: Yes, he can be sensitive, and well a bit of a jerk. You will see that this time._

_Tm7: Thank you, will update a soon as I can.!_

_CallmeGreeneyes: Well, Gwen can be just as stubborn, don't forget that little piece of info. She's strong, she could make it, it would just take a really long time for her to do so._

_Mrs. Susy Black: Aww thanks love, thats so nice. Yeah, I built him with goodness atatched! I'll update soon with some L/J and Gwen/Sirius soon. Dont worry its not over for them just yet, in fact that'll be in a long time give that another err seven chapters_

Chapter Eleven: I'll be there for you.

_The last flurries of the day were slowly drifting to a close. Lily Evans and James Potter sat curled up next to each other near the hearth. The two spent that morning discovering hidden feelings their friends held for each other and spent that afternoon sitting in the common room with the other. It was the last Valentines day that the two would spend at Hogwarts, the last Valentines day of the soft hearted. The next year they would be off into the world, where not everything was roses and chocolate frogs. It was a world where and evil mad had the madness to kill all of those from muggle decent. He wanted to control, to be all powerful, a dictator to the world where all that knew would fear his name._

_It was mere minutes later that they're two friends Remus and Phoebe stepped in from the cold halls of the school. They two were in love, to the point that some would say there was no return. But that was not so, although they loved each other, they had not met that point, that point which had been met by two earlier that morning. They young Werewolf and his love caught sight of their friends lounging about by the fire, they headed over towards them. They reached them in a swift amount of time, and good naturedly sat down in front of them._

"Hey James, where is Sirius?" Remus asked his be speckled friend.

"Err, I bet he is a bit preoccupied at the moment." James had a the twinkle in his eyes.

"Gwen?" He asked with a grin in his eyes.

"Yeah. Its about time though, don't you think. Those two dweebs have been skipping and dancing circles around each other for as long as I can remember. Even when we were first years." James barked a laugh.

"Hey James, I'm going to Uhh go visit someone ok?" Lily stood up.

"Snape?" his eyes turned cold.

"Yes James, he is my friend." he snipped at him.

"Fine." He sighed. It was no misjudgment that James Potter was annoyed with his Girlfriends recent taking to the Slytherin 'slime ball' in his words of course. He'd never much liked him, always had an inclination to make fun of him.

_At this point we shall follow are young Lily to her meeting with Severus Snape._

_Lily walked down the cold hallways of the school with her cloak bundled tight. She kept up her voyage to the small hidden classroom near the charms room that not many knew of. There she would meet her best friend, well her best friend that was a male. She bought him a box of his favorite candy, chocolate frogs. She started to skip as she neared the small classroom, she never did get many chances to see him outside of classes, he was on a course to follow evil, to follow those who would build a name for him. A path, a course that she could never follow. As much as she loved him, he was like her brother, she could not follow him into the path of destruction, and the wake of Lord Voldemort. Lily had no prejudices against that name, that's all it was, a name. A name that was designed to strike fear in peoples eyes, she wouldn't have that. She finally reached the little classroom near the charms room and pulled open the door. Inside she found her friend pacing back and forth, pacing in a nervous fashion. Nervous as if he was so sure she would not show up, that she like before would ditch him here._

"Severus, do calm down." She muttered at him with a grin.

"Lily, you came." he smiled bright at her.

"Of course. Happy Valentines day!" She held out the wrapped package.

"Lily, what?" he seemed slightly confused.

"it's a present silly, I bought it for you." she put the package into his hands.

"Thanks. Here I got you something too." he pulled something long and slender from his cloak. He passed his thumb across the velvet and handed it to her.

"Thanks Sev, go on and open it" She indicated to his parcel.

"Alright" he pulled the wrappings off. The box of chocolate frogs sat in his hand. He ginned a big grin and looked up at her, she smiled at him softly and hoped up a desk and sat down.

"Chocolate frog cards? How'd you know?" he laughed.

"Well, I do remember that time just before our first year when you came rushing into my room with a load of chocolate frogs in your arms. Then you became so hyper that by the end of the day my dad had to drive you home because you were unable to walk." She laughed.

"Yeah, I remember. Then my mom wouldn't buy me any until Christmas when she felt that I deserved them again." a smile was brought to his lips.

"I miss those days, they were so fun." she laughed at him.

"Well open yours" he nodded his head at the velvet box.

"Aww Sev' you shouldn't have." she blushed to her roots.

"Well I did. Go on, open it." his eyes were bright, watching her from behind the dark curtains his hair gave him.

"Ok." She picked the box up and opened it. With a small gasp a teardrop formed at the corner of her eye.

"Do you not like it?" he asked worried.

"No, I love it. Will you put it on me?" she asked tentatively holding the small necklace up so that he could fasten it around her neck.

"Of course" he took the clasp and link into his hand and pulled It gently around her neck. Then he fastened it with a snap and let his hand pass delicately across the back of her neck. She touched the small emerald and pearl lily that now hung about her neck, then she turn to face him.

"Thank you Severus" She hugged him. The hug lasted for a while and when she stepped back she looked up at him.

"Your welcome Lily." He smiled down at her.

"So what do we do now?" She asked tentatively.

"Dunno" he murmured.

"Kay" she look back up at him. Their eyes locked, on one side they were deep, full of love and all that was good. The other, what was true, passionate, but another's. It happened in a flash, she didn't have much time to think, much time for anything. His lips were on hers so quickly she didn't even have time to breathe.

He did it, he took his chance. He knew that there was a possibility she would reject him, but he had to try. They stood there for a minute…. Then two… then her brain seemed to register and that was it. She stepped back with a wild expression on her face, he was her best friend. Of course she had Phoebe, Gwen, Sirius, Remus, and… James. She loved James, much more and drastically different from how she loved Severus, so extremely different. She couldn't loose him now, not now or ever, as doomed as it was that she was going to, that he was going to be leaving to fight in the war, in the war on the wrong side, she did not want that.

"Severus." she simply and tentatively said.

"Yes Lily?" he asked back in the same tone. He didn't want to loose her, but if he had to stand back and watch James Potter have her, then he would willingly give her up, give her up and always watch over her, at any expense.

"Severus, you're my best friend." she spoke softly.

"Yeah?"

"Yes, and Severus I cant loose you. I don't want too." her voice was gentle, but what was to be said was to be said.

"You don't have to, Lily, please." he was very soft, soft and low.

"Severus, I love you. I really do, but not that way."

"I understand. I do, and I know that, but I will always love you Lily, you and only you."

"Severus, please. Can we not be friends still?" a sad smile appeared upon her lips.

"No Lily, I don't think we can. I don't think I'd ever have the heart to watch you, the only person in this world that has shown unconditional love for me love _him_" he spat the last word out.

"Severus." she grabbed the front of his robes.

"No, I'm sorry." and with that he swept from the room.

Only then did the tears start to wash over her face.

I know that was a short chapter, I'd originaly planned for it to be longer, but I didnt think that after that I could add any more. I'll update as soon as I can


	12. The Things we do for love

Thank you to all of my lovely reviewers from the last chapter. I felt that the last chapter was horribly written, I will try to make this one much better.

Disclaimer is that I own nothing from the Hp realm, just the world I've created through this work. Thank you and enjoy the chapter.

Chapter Twelve: The things we do for love…..

"Gwendolyn Rose, get your arse up now. Some rather large dog is at the door trying to get in, heaven Gwen, you know I'm afraid of dogs." Phoebe was standing atop her bed with her wand held tightly in hand.

I sat up and looked at her, she looked so animated, like one of those muggle cartoon things Lily showed me one time at her house during the summer holidays.

"Calm down, I'll go make It go away." I jumped up from my mess of a bed that had been torn apart in the night due to nightmares.

I walked to the door and pulled it open to be pounced upon by a rather large and heavy black shaggy dog. I started to slobber all over my face and arms, then It pulled its head up and stared down at me with its tongue lolling about. I laughed and sat up, I recognized the dog, quite well actually. It looked up at Phoebe and bounded over towards her, but stopped short when he seen her wand drawn.

"Phoebe, calm down, its only Sirius." I crossed my arms.

'What? How can that be?" She looked a little less frightened.

It was then that Sirius changed back into his human form, Quidditch boxers and all. Blood found my cheeks instantaneously at that realization. He turned to me and grinned his normal, 'I am Black' grin that he sent towards his admirers.

"Sirius, what the hell?" I shook my head at him.

"Oh nothing, just thought I'd come over and surprise my adorable girlfriend with my shaggy ways." He started to walk towards me with a sassy look in his eyes.

"Girlfriend?" I asked mockingly.

"Yes, my sexily dressed for sleep Girlfriend with her hair all a mess." He put his arms around me. Phoebe just stared over at us with confusion.

"What?" I looked down at my attire to find that I was wearing not much more than a pair of black shorts, that were really short might I add, and a thin grey spaghetti strap. And I blushed again.

"Aww, you came dressed to match." I smiled up at him.

"Yep, clad in my underwear." he pulled me tighter towards him.

All in all, this was still rather odd, I mean sure we acted like this when we dated for a short time in fifth year, but this feeling was quite odd. He just stared down at me goofily, one of those cheesy smiles that James sometimes gives Lily when she isn't looking, and I just kind of was there, taking in a bunch of information that kind of made me all weird inside. He really loved me, and that its self was kind of scary.

"Ok, well I'm off to find Remus. Him being the only sane one about lately." She pulled on some shoes, a cloak and left the dormitory.

"Ok Sirius, I need to get dressed. And you my friend need to leave."

"What if I don't want to leave? What if you and I just sit here and be all lovey dovey?" He pouted.

"Well then I'll go into the loo and change and you'll stay right here." I smiled, picked up my clothes and hair brush, then skipped into the loo.

I took an interminably long time to change and wash up, just so that he would suffer a little bit, just a little, but in the good way. I finished about a quarter of an hour later and walked out to find him still clad in boxers reading my journal. Now one might be really angry about their privacy being broken, but I really wasn't. I mean It wasn't like he hadn't ever read half of the stuff I sent off to my sister and mother, there really wasn't a big difference. He realized my presence and stood up meandering over to me. He smiled at me like a child with a piece of their favorite candy before them.

"Gwendolyn, my love. Let us away." he pulled a broom out from behind his back.

I raised my eyebrow, "Sirius? Its raining outside, its February and your in boxers. And you want to go out flying?"

"Yes, here, let me borrow a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt." he looked about the room for something of the like.

"If they'll fit you, hold on I'll go steal some from your room. How exactly do you guys get up here in the first place?" I asked walking towards the door.

He smirked. "Ah my love, a Marauder will never reveal his secrets, even if they're to his beloved."

"Really then? Well just wait here for me to come back." I smirked in response and skipped down the stairs.

Obg, I am so sorry that this took so long, I was so wrapped up in writing my story Belladonna that I'd neglected to write for Never let me go. I'm sorry that its soo short, next chapter will be like three times as long I swear. Thanks to the reviewers, you guys rock so hard, I love ya. Hope that your fall holidays are good, for you Americans! And to anyone else that reads happy fall to you! I will try to have It up in a week, not promises though! Peace! Oooh go watch across the universe, its like the best movie I've ever seen even if someone did lie to me and ditched me to go hang out with some rude person who steals attention from everyone like fly's with shit! Sorry I'm just a little ticked off that my friends would do something like that, you'd think that they would just be honest, honest is golden, liars or fools and stupid and piss me off. So are suck ups! Anywho, ttfn, rather soon, I promise!

Peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:) Herb3 or Violetpastprime!


	13. Of Broomrides and Dances in the rain

**Chapter Thirteen is finally here, I'd like to call it my lucky thirteenth****J**** I hope you all enjoy and that's to the wickedo reviews………………………………...**

**On ward to……………….**

**Call Me Green Eyes: I love Sirius too, he is just so cute sometimes Don't worry, there will be a fairly large bit of Sirius Gwen fluff this chapter, and the kind where she is content with it as well, not the I am Sirius and you will listen to me because I love you like before, just you wait!****J****J****J**

**DanFan789 ****J**** and her name is Gwen, but Gwendolyn is her full name, Gwendolyn Rose Ackles. I'm glad you liked the story. Thanks for all of the wonderful reviews**

**An Aspiring Author: Yeah, twas short, but this one is twice the length**

**HGHPlove4ever15: I'm glad you liked it, Thanks for your review**

**Chapter Thirteen: Of Broom rides, and Moon lit escapades.**

I returned to my dormitory with a pair of Sirius's trousers and two of his faded muggle tee shirts we had given him through the years. One of them was a rust color and the other, which I had stolen for my use was a light blue shirt that looked way too small for him. I padded through the hall to the seventh year girls dorm and opened the door. I strode into the room and plopped down next to him, he again was deep in my journal reading it. I sighed and pulled it from his grasp, I closed it and replaced it by my bedside.

"I've gotten you some clothes." I pushed the trousers and the rust colored shirt to him.

"What about my favorite blue one?" he raised his eyebrow with a cute smile playing his lips.

"Oh, well I'm going to borrow it." I blushed. We both knew he most likely would never see it again.

"Borrow or keep?"

"Well I'm borrowing it for now, then I'll keep it."

"So are we going to go on our romantic raining broom ride or what?" he stood and picked up my broom.

"Only if there is time to stop and dance." I stood up next to him.

"Oh there will be, don't you worry about that." he pulled me around the waist over to the window which he threw open.

"Are you not going to change? Or do you want all of the female population of Hogwarts to see you equipment?" I wiggled my eyebrow at him.

"Your right. I had almost forgotten." he pulled on the trousers and shirt, grabbed my extra cloak that was all frayed and torn and mounted the broom. I chuckled and climbed on behind him, he grabbed the window handle, shut it, grabbed the broom with both hands and we sped away into the rainy winter air.

We flew over the grounds that were drenched in rain to the Quidditch pitch. It began to get colder slowly and I snuggled closer to him. He began to descend upon the pitch, he stopped let me jump off then jumped off himself and tucked my broom under his arm. Then he began to spin rapidly like a loon, so I joined him. We just we spinning there for what seemed like twenty minutes, enjoying each others presence and the feeling of rain falling upon our heads, soaking our clothes and hair.

"Gwen." Sirius stopped me with his arm that he had snaked around my waist.

"Yes?" I smiled at him.

"Can I have this dance?" he made a performance of bowing gracefully like a grand prince and all, and magically producing a rose from the tip of his wand.

"Yes Sirius." I laughed and with my assent he grabbed me frimly around the waist and took off spinning me and twirling me at a fast tempo. He hummed a soft tune into my ear and then began to sing.

It was odd, his voice was beautiful, so much more than when we're drunk and acting like fools.

"Tonight the sky above  
Reminds me of you, love.  
Walking through wintertime,  
Where the stars all shine.  
The angel on the stairs,  
Will tell you I was there.  
Under the front porch light  
On a mystery night" He spun me around rather quickly resting his forehead upon mine. His eyes were boring into mine, his soft beautiful slate blue eyes that I could get lost in. And to imagine, I hated him, well no, I never hated him, I only was angry because I was in love with him. Its been so quick but yet, it feels like its lasted a life time to yesterday.

"I've been sitting watching life pass from the sidelines  
Been waiting for a dream to seep in through my blinds  
I wondered what might happen if I left this all behind  
Would the wind be at my back ? Could I get you off my mind  
This time.

The neon lights in bars,  
And headlights from the cars.  
Have started a symphony  
Inside of me.  
The things I left behind,  
Have melted in my mind  
And now there's a purity  
Inside of me

I've been sitting watching life pass from the sidelines,  
Been waiting for a dream to seep in through my blinds.  
I wondered what might happen if I left this all behind.  
Would the wind be at my back ? Could I get you off my mind,  
This time.

I've been sitting watching life pass from the sidelines  
Been waiting for a dream to seep in through my blinds  
I wondered what might happen if I left this all behind  
Would the wind be at my back ? Could I get you off my mind  
This time" And with that he leaned forward and captured my lips in his.

**J****J****JJ****J****JJ****J****JJ****J****J**

AN: Another short chapter I know, sorry bout that. I've had major stress with my job, my managers an unprofessional jerk who gossips all day and is a rude b to people. Well I hope you liked the chapter, sorry its taken so long to do, I've been uber stressedJ um I own nothing, that song is by Jonathan Rhys Meyers, from the August Rush soundtrack. Btw that was a really good movie and suggest that you go and see it. Thanks for all of the reviews and adds, if I missed you just let me know and I'll fix the errorJ peace and love to you!


	14. From where we stand

**Well I can honestly say that this chapter will be quite action packed. It's longer, just like I promised you. That Uhh, writer's block that I'd had for a while has lifted!! Teehee. So um go check out a new story called sunrise ok? I'll update that when I feel that it needs to be. I hope you like this chapter, and I'll understand if you don't ok! Peace and have a good reading.**

**Chapter Fourteen: From where we stand.**

The soft light drizzles of March ran into April and gathered with more gusto. And with the roar of a lion April faded into May, where you could find the entire student body getting ready for exams due to take place with in the coming weeks. Remus was going sick with worry about them, running about with his head stuck into a book at every glance you got of him. James told me not to worry too much about it, that Remus was just over exerting himself for exams that he felt that he needs to prove his intelligence. We all knew that Remus was intelligent, I mean, it wasn't like he needed to prove it, did he?

On the last Saturday before exams were to take place, I decided to gather every one up and have a picnic down on the grounds. The first person I found was Gwen, who was moping about down in the common room, trying to find Sirius whom James told me was down in the kitchens. She pouted at the news that I'd told her and plopped down into the large fluffy puff-like couch near the fire place. I sighed and walked over to her, they were once again having problems between themselves. It started when Rita Skeeter yet again tried to wreck the day.

_Flashback_

_"Hi Sirius." Rita sat down in the bench next to him. We were at dinner and Gwen was late due to getting in a brawl in Charms, our last class, with a Slytherin who was making fun of her mum and sisters deaths. _

_"Hello Skeeter" He mumbled to her giving James and I the 'I'm annoyed look'._

_"So what are you doing?" She asked sweetly putting that 'I'm trying to charm you into me again' look._

_"Well obviously He's eating" Phoebe told her quite simply._

_"Is he O'haare, I'd no idea." she snapped._

_"Look Skeeter, lets try not to cause any trouble here, so why don't you go back to your own table and stay there." James told her picking up his goblet of pumpkin juice._

_"Potter, why don't you and your muggleborn of a girlfriend go and snog yourself silly." She sneered at him._

_"Look Rita, Gwen's going to be back any minute and it's not wise for you lurking around here. You know she'll go ballistic on you." I gave her a glare._

_"Yeah, I expect that that's true, huh Sirius?" She smiled at him. His face went pale at her words._

_"Go away Rita" He looked at her stonily._

_"Gwen's coming." Remus nodded towards the doors, she looked angry._

_"Good, you can tel…." but her voice was cut off. I watched Sirius stow his wand back into his pocket, but I was the only one that did. Skeeter stood up and stomped her foot on Sirius's and marched away._

_"What was Skeeter doing here?" Gwen asked as she descended into Rita's vacated seat._

_"Causing trouble." James grimaced at her._

_"I'll expect that. What did she say?" She looked at Sirius who just looked back at her with fear in his eyes._

_"Not much." He shrugged._

_"Ok." She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder._

_"So what did Flitwick give you?" I asked her. She looked over at me with a grin._

_"Nothing, but she gave Malfoy a three week detention cleaning the hospital bedpans." _

_"Really?" James laughed. "That's no nice job huh Sirius?" he looked over at him._

_"Nope." He took a drink. "It's shitty as hell." He laughed._

_"Gwen are you going to eat?" Phoebe was looking worried._

_Gwen smiled at Phoebe and sighed. "I'm just not hungry." _

_Phoebe took a bite of her Yorkshire pudding and sighed. "Ok"_

_"So anyone finished?" She asked around the table to us._

_"Yeah, I am." Sirius said._

_"Wanna go up to the common room?" She lifted her head up and asked._

_"Err, I was hoping to go and catch up on a bit of studying in the Library." He replied back to her._

_"I could go with you." She smiled._

_"Yeah, but I kind of didn't want any distractions." he looked sadly down at her._

_"Ok." She sighed. "Well I'm going up ok." She stood up and left the table moping._

_Their short-lived relationship went down hill after that. I sighed at Gwen, I knew what she was thinking and I wouldn't be a bit surprised if that really was the case. Skeeter had many more appearances in the weeks that followed, all of them she would smile evilly at Sirius and say something involving a secret they shared. She always came around when Gwen wasn't there too._

_End of flashback_

"Come on Gwen, let's go round up everyone and head down to that spot by the beech tree ok?" I put my arm on her shoulder.

"Ok, I'll go up and get Remus and James ok?" She smiled and bounded up the boys staircase.

I sighed and walked over to the portrait hole to go and find Phoebe who had gotten up early for some reason or another. It was then that Sirius walked in with tears in his eyes. He seen me and fear flooded through him, making him look so broken. He looked about the room to see if anyone was there, then when he realized that nobody but me was there, that the rest of the Gryffindor population was either out on the grounds or up in their dorms. He stepped towards me and put his hands in his pockets, and then he looked at me and gave me the, 'I know you know what's going on' look.

"Lily flower, there is something I'd like to share with you." he looked down at the ground.

"It's about you and Skeeter is it not?" I motioned for him to follow me out of the common room.

"Well, you know that Skeeter is resourceful don't you?" we began to walk down the corridor.

"Yes." I nodded.

"Well, she uhh found out that my, cousin Bellatrix, that she killed Gwen's mum and Gren. She said if I did what she told me, Gwen wouldn't ever find out." he pulled me down another corridor.

"What did she tell you to do?" I asked looking at him weirdly.

"She wanted…. Well she wanted me and her to uhh, an Item." he spat the last out with little gusto.

"So you're cheating on Gwen?" I was amazed, just what she was afraid of…

"I don't have a choice Lily." he jabbed his hands into his pockets roughly.

I seethed at him. "So you're going to break her heart? Again. Sirius she can't handle this right now. If she finds out then, I.. I don't think she's going to be able to mentally take anything anymore. You seen how much better she felt when she found you. She cant loose another person now, that'd be like me dying to her."

"Lily, I have to break it off with her. Rita just told me." he stopped abruptly.

"Wait, so your going to break her heart?"

"Lily, its either she hates me for her mums and sisters death or for cheating on her. Either or, she's still going to hate me no matter what." he looked me strait into the eyes.

"Sirius, you cant do this. You didn't kill them, she'll never hold you responsible."

"Lily, my dear Lily. Skeeter's a horrid person, she told me that if I didn't do what she said, that I'd regret it. And I'm afraid that it might be in the form of hurting Gwen."

"Sirius, don't do this. Please don't do this, Gwen wont be able to handle it if you did. Don't you remember what she looked like before you knocked some sense into her." I shook my head.

"Yeah. But Lily, you'll be there to help her." he looked me in the eyes again.

"Sirius, she loves you. She loves you like James and I love each other."

"I know, and I love her the same way. And I'm going to do this for her. Don't you see, I can handle her hating me, I just cant handle never seeing her again. " He sighed.

I seen the anguish in his eyes, I sighed and agreed. "Ok, but you had better hope she makes it out of this one with her sanity."

"I do. So here's the plan, Skeeter told me to go and grab my potions book so that it would look like I was in fact studying not snogging her. So I'm going to grab a book from the library and say that I couldn't find mine and meet her at the third floor corridor. Meet us there in ten minutes with Gwen in toe, let her see us snogging and then run off after her to comfort her ok. Here are so chocolates for her to eat after, I know how much she likes them and eats them in her depressions ok?" He handed me a box of truffles he had been carrying under his robes.

I looked up at him, he really must care about her if he was going through all of this trouble just to keep her safe and out of Skeeters wrath. "Ok" I sighed and turned around to go get Gwen. I looked back when I reached the end of the hallway to see Sirius walking the other direction.

I walked up to the common room and through the portrait hole. I walked in to find everyone assembled around the fireplace talking.

"Lily, there you are." James stood up with his normal handsome grin on his face.

"Hey James" I smiled at him. "Hey I uhh forgot to grab something so I'm going to go down to the kitchens and get it. Why don't the rest of you go down to the tree ok?" I walked over to the portrait hole. And just like clock work I heard Gwen's voice chorus back.

"I'll go with you. Maybe we'll find Sirius there too!" She was already standing besides me.

"Ok, we'll see the rest of you there." we walked out of the room and walked down the flight of stairs to the third floor corridor.

"Why didn't we just go down to the second then to the first?" She asked me with laughter in her voice.

I smiled and said "Well I dunno, I just wanted to go down this one then to the first and right there would be the kitchens."

"Ok" We walked on.

Then before I knew it I seen Sirius standing with Skeeter pushed up against the wall kissing. We stopped when I think Gwen realized who it was, we were just a few feet away and Sirius and Skeeter were still going about it with gusto. Skeeter looked up from behind Sirius and smirked.

"Gwen?" She said sweetly. "What a pleasant surprise." Sirius pulled back and looked at Gwen with horror in his eyes. But he masked them well after that second and put a show of slight shock upon them.

"Gwen I.." But it was too late, just as Sirius had predicted and ran away. I sighed and ran after her, she wasn't going to take this well, not to well at all.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Gwen." I called after her. She was running down the corridor back to the common room. I heard her give a muffled response so I tried to catch up with her.

"Gwendolyn Rose Ackles. Stop." I shouted at her. She stopped abruptly and turned around to face me.

"He did just what I thought, he, he was with Skeeter." Tears were running freely from her face.

"I know. Maybe this is for the better though. You know, Fabian Prewet always had a thing for you. Even though he was three years older than you, he still did." I pulled her into a tight hug.

"But I love him. Why would he do this to me? Why would he do what I knew and told him I thought he was going to do. Why is he just like him, why is he just like my father?" she sobbed heavily into my chest.

"I know, but you never really know, maybe this is just a thing that will pass in time. What if in two weeks from now, you wake up and you don't love him, but somebody else?" I patted her head softly.

"But that cant happen. Don't you see, I started to love him years ago. Now that I have him, that I had him. I don't want to give him up, I never want to give him up. And to a hag like her…." She stop and began to sober up from her tears. "How could he." anger was now evident in her beautiful face.

"Gwen, maybe its for the best." I stood back from her and smiled.

"You think?" She looked up at me seeking assurance in her eyes.

"I do Gwen. Now lets go to that picnic we had planned ok?" I smiled grandly at her.

"I guess." she pushed some hair out of her face and gave me her hand.

"You ok?" I asked her lightly.

"Better then ever. And guess what? I'm not going to hold anything against Sirius for this. Obviously we were never meant for each other." she gave me a whim of a smile.

"Well you taking this well." I narrowed my eyes at her. She was taking this too well.

"Not really, I'm just determined to take it well. After all, he was there for me after Gren and Mum passed on." we started to walk towards the great hall.

"Well I'm glad that your strong enough to carry on." I put my arms around her shoulders.

She smiled back at me and put her arm around my shoulders. Then she said "I am too Lils. I am too."

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"Lily, Gwen. What took you two so bloody long?" James was sprawled out on a large burgundy blanket.

"Oh well we got caught up in past memories on the way to the kitchens." Gwen chirped in happily.

"Yeah, oh by the way Gwen, I found these this morning setting by our door. They were addressed to you." I pulled the truffles out from under my robes. They were wrapped in gold paper with Gwen's name painted in black scrawled across it.

"Ok." she took the package and read the handwriting. I think she knew who they were from by the look she had in her eyes. But she pushed past it and sat them upon the ground solemnly.

"So now, what shall we do?" Peter sat up and smiled.

"We my friend, eat." Remus popped up with his bag of cookies.

"We've got the stuff from the kitchens right here" Gwen pulled out the basket filled with food.

"Did you guys get the chocolate fudge nut marshmallow cookies?" Remus asked excitedly.

"Yeah Remus we did." She reached in the basket and pulled out a large plate of dark brown cookies.

"Yippee!" I grabbed them and retreated back over to Phoebe who just shook her head at him.

"Let the fun begin?" I asked.

"I agree." James dug into the basket and we spent the entire afternoon eating and enjoying each others company. After a while Sirius showed up with grimness to him. Gwen just smiled at him and offered him a sandwich that the house elves had made for us. He took it gratefully and sat down to eat with us. Then as the sun started to fade James and I got up to take a walk around the grounds. We held hands and strolled casually.

"James, there's something I need to talk to you about." I stopped by the whomping willow, we were far enough away to be safe.

"Yeah." His voice was shaky.

"If anyone ever tries to harm me, in anyway and they tell you not to tell me or else. Promise me that you'll tell me, promise me that you wont try any alternative ways to save me." I grabbed his hands.

"Of course Lily, I love you, you know that. But I know that you can take care of yourself." he pulled me into his arms.

"Thank you James." I laid my head upon his chest.

"No problem." he rested his head on mine.

We stayed like that for a while, then we trooped back to the rest of our friends and then we all went inside. Sirius and Gwen never said one bad thing to each other, nor did they talk to each other much. Phoebe knew something was up so when we all got up in our dorm, had our pajamas on all cuddled up on my bed did she ask her.

"Gwen, did you and Sirius break up?" she pulled the tail on her stuffed wolf she was holding. Remus had gotten it for her for Christmas.

"Yeah, in a way." She sighed and hugged her stuffed rabbit.

"Are you going to be ok?" Phoebe asked softly.

"Yeah, I think so." Gwen smiled at her brightly.

That night we all slept on my bed with the curtains pulled tight. And the next day we all headed down to the library to study with the added presence of Skeeter, much to all of our annoyance. And Gwen, well she handled things quite fine actually. Then as the day ended we, minus Skeeter trooped back up to the common room. Then after a nice chatter by the roaring fire, although it was May, we went down to the great hall and feasted up for the exams that lay the day that would surely follow.

The first day of exams arrived with gusto, calmness and scatter ness. Gwen was running around in search of her history of magic book to stick in a last minute story. But we all knew that she'd pass that test with flying colors and succeed in getting the position in the dept of mysteries that she'd set her eyes on back in fifth year. And I know that I'd pass the charms exam, which was first and the potions exam that would follow the next day. James was taking a laid back attempt at them, just like he always did, as did Sirius. Remus was the worst however, that boy was insane when it came to school work.

The exams were over with a flash of an eye, they were much less hectic as the owls. And before we even knew it, the last day we would ever spend at Hogwarts was upon us. Phoebe, Gwen and I were all solemn as we descended into the benches at the Gryffindor table on the day that we were to leave. The boys showed up in a similar mood, moping about, looking as if they'd just died.

"Morning." I mumbled up at them.

"Morning" They all chorused back.

We ate and returned to finish our packing up in the dorms, then we grabbed our things and descended the flights of stairs to board the train that would take us to our destiny.

_**Lolol. So that was longer. wasn't the whole 12 pages I was hoping for, but its long baby! Like I said go and check out Sunrise ok! it's a good one. Love you all loads.**_

_**Peace and Harmony to you.**_

_**Herb3- Heather Rose Black.**_


	15. Of Meetings and Proposals

January 2nd 2008

_**Well after tedious decisions I've decided to make this fic au. Now I know that some of you might be pist off by this but hey, don't you think these characters do deserve the happy ending they didn't get. So yes, I will stick to the main story line, people will unfortunately have to die like Fabian and Gideon Prewett, and those people, but none of the people that we are currently loving and reading about, well most of them will live, because I like happy endings. Harry will get parents, Sirius wont go to Azkaban, for long maybe J.K. The Weasley's will still be they're selves; Harry will end up with Ginny, Ron with Hermione, and Remus with Tonks. So furthermore, after this long and rather sad interlude……………. I bring to you. And Snape will live and be happy with someone who is not lily, but will make him happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JK does suck for the last book…**_

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**I own nothing but my love for this story! And Gwen! And my plot! **

_**Never Let Me Go Chapter 15**_

_**Of Meetings and Proposals.**_

_**By Herb3- Heather Rose Black.**_

The train ride was a peaceful event. We all bunked up in one compartment and gorged ourselves on Chocolate frogs courtesy of Remus who had been stashing them away for months apparently. The hillsides swept past us very quickly, as if they were secretly trying to escape our clutches. Remus and Phoebe were all cuddled up on the left seat looking all lovey dovey, Gwen was camped out on the floor drawing as she normally did when upset. Sirius was fast asleep next to Remus who was too busy to notice from smelling Phoebe's hair, and James and I were sitting on the right seat just sharing each others company as the train was speeding wildly into our future. It sort of upset me you know, I didn't know what was out there for me, sure I knew that _you-know-who _is, but that's only the bad. I sighed and sat up looking out the window, the sun was beginning to set which would mean of course that our time was fading and just around the bend was our future.

James must have noticed my movement because his eyes flickered open and followed the line my eyes drew to the window. He sighed and put his arms around me and made me turn and face him, breaking my trance like stare out of the window. I turned to face him and met his hazel brown eyes that were so warm in comparison to anyone else's. I leaned forward into a hug and we stayed like that for a while. Gwen looked up at us with amusement, shook her head so that her long golden curls went flailing about her head and went back to her picture. I smiled at her, she became so strong, and over night too. I pulled out of our hug and looked back into James's eyes and smiled lightly, I smiled like anyone could do in the spot before the unknown.

"Lily, do you want to go on a walk?" James had stood up and offered me his hand.

"Sure." I took his hand and stood up. Then we walked out of the compartment and into the main corridor. We walked down the corridor to the end of the train where the head's carriage was settled. James opened the door and pulled me in through it. He was all smiley at me once the door closed and he pulled me into a hug.

"Lillers, I have something to ask of you." he pulled out yet still kept his arms held tight about my waist.

"Yeah?" I smiled up at him.

"Well, you see. Today is well, today is the last day we have before we embark on what we will become in this life. And I was at a stump as to how I wanted it to be. I know that I'm going into the auror program in the fall, but aside from that I don't really know what I want to do with what else I had in my life, until last week." he grinned down at me.

I looked down at my feet then back up at him. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Well I figured it out, with much consultation with Moony and Padfoot. So we snuck out last Wednesday night down to The Three Broomsticks where we flooed over to Diagon alley." he stopped and swallowed hard.

"We found… ok, I have a much better way to.." he stopped again.

"James, just spit it out ok?" I rubbed his shoulder.

"Ok." he dropped to one knee and with drew a emerald velvet case from his trouser pockets.

"James?" I asked excitedly.

"Lily Anna Evans, the love of my eighteen year old life. I have loved you since I was twelve, have obsessed over you since then. I have been arrogant, jerky and an arsehole to you. I have done many things in my life that I do regret, but loving you is not one of those things. Tomorrow we will awake to a new life, and I'm damned and determined to find you there next to me. So with out further drawn out lines of my adoration to you, I must ask. Lily Evans, will you marry me?" his eyes looked up at me terrified.

"James, why on earth would I marry you?" I raised my eyebrow.

"Huh?" he was stunned. I faked out quickly and got down on my knee.

"James Theodore Potter. There is nothing more that I'd like to do in life than marry you." I smiled at him in amusement.

"So, that's a yes?" his eyes got all excited.

"James, that's a more than yes."

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We returned to the compartment about a quarter of an hour later, everyone was alive and angry when we got there. Rita had made a visit to her boyfriend. Gwen was determinedly looking strait at her drawing, avoiding her and her manhandlement of Sirius, who looked very pained.

"What's going on?" I asked as we slid the compartment open.

"Sirius's ho-bag of a girlfriend came in and interrupted our peace." Remus stood up lividly.

"Siri-boo. Your not going to let your friend make fun of me are you?" Skeeter pouted at him.

"Remus.." Sirius began.

"Know, Sirius what the hell is wrong with you. Two bloody weeks ago you were talking about… you know damn well what you were talking about. You were so in love with Gwen, now you've just ditched her for some slut who can get you easy sex?" Remus now stood in front of him.

"Remus, you don't know what your talking about." He snapped at him.

"Sirius. He just called me a slut. What are you going to do about it?" Skeeter stood up in front of the door and put her hands on her hips. She looked out of her horn rimmed glasses haughtily.

"Nothing Rita, because I don't see that I can really argue with him." he said softly.

"Look Werewolf, you had better sit back down and remember you place in line here, or I'll just have to tell the whole world of your little predicament." Skeeter poked him in the chest.

Remus looked so hurt by her words, then he rounded on Sirius with this horrible look in his eyes.

"Remus, I swear I didn't…" Sirius never got to finish his sentence due to the fact that Remus balled his fist and plunged it into Sirius's face. Then he walked from the compartment with little thought of ever returning. Gwen stood up and walked over face to face with Skeeter.

"Rita Skeeter, you are the lowest person I have ever had the misfortune to meet." and with that Gwen left the compartment in search of Remus.

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_Gwen's point of view_

"Remus." I called after him, he was walking to the head's carriage.

"Leave me alone Gwen." He slammed the door after him.

"Remus John Lupin. Open this door right now. Sirius would not tell that bitch that your, well that you have a furry little problem as James would put it." I banged wildly on the door.

He opened the door to me. "You know?" his eyes went wide.

"Yes Remus, I do. I have. Ever since the full moon in January." I pushed my way through the door.

"You have?" his eyes went to the floor in shame.

"Remus Lupin, if I cared, I would have said something along time ago." I pulled his chin up.

"You don't?"

"Remus, how could I ever hate you, you're my friend. You've been my friend for seven years, how could I just give up on our friendship now?" I pulled him into a deep hug.

"Do you think that Phoebe is going to care?" he looked sadly into my eyes.

"Remus, Phoebe is in love with you. She's not going to care. We love you for the _you_ that you are every day. Not the you that you become once a month."

"Promise?" a stray tear leaked from his eyes.

"No Remus, I don't promise it. I swear it. And I honestly don't think that Sirius would tell Skeeter. That boy would die for you in a heartbeat if you were in trouble, he wouldn't sell you down the river. Now if you don't mind me saying, but I'm not too sure that Peter would do the same." I patted him on the back.

"I haven't seen that kid too much lately, he's always got somewhere else to be you know?" he hugged my tightly.

"Yeah. So let's go back to our friends, hope to Merlin that Skeeter is gone, and enjoy the few minutes we have left of this train ride?" I pulled him to the door.

"What if Lily and Phoebe are afraid of me?" he wouldn't move.

"Remus, if they run from you, well then you can tell everyone in the world that I was once betrothed to Malfoy ok?" I pulled him towards the door once again.

"Wait you were betrothed to Malfoy?" he asked stunned.

"Yep, until my dad left that is. Then my mom, who didn't really like the Malfoy's anyway cancelled the contract."

"Have you ever told anyone?"

"Yeah, no. Why the hell would I tell somebody that I was once to be married to a Slytherin jackass?" I laughed.

"So Sirius doesn't know?" he smirked.

"Nope. Why?" I raised my eyebrow.

"Oh no reason." His smirk grew wider.

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The train rolled into Kings cross not but fifteen minutes after Remus and Gwen returned from their talk. Phoebe smiled at Remus and pulled him into a hug, I patted him on the back and James, well James was a bit sad at the fact that two of his best friends were fighting. Peter had turned up with Sirius in toe who, looked completely miserable. We all sat there in the silence that remained for the remainder of the train ride. As we pulled in Remus stood up and walked over to Sirius who, looked very angrily up at him.

"Sirius, I'm sorry that I jumped to conclusions. Gwen told me that it most likely wasn't you that told her, she says that you're not that type of a person, which up until a month ago would have believed whole heartedly. But I do believe her, I believe that Rita Skeeter is a big snooper and will stop at nothing to blackmail people."

"I understand that you were mad, but mate, we've been best friends since we were eleven. It hurts me for that second, that second you didn't believe me." Sirius stood up to match Remus's height.

"I'm sorry Padfoot." Remus opened his arms for a brotherly hug.

"It's all good Moony, It's all good" They hugged and smiled at us.

"Well now that we're all fine and dandy. Sirius, Remus." James smiled at them. They just smiled back sheepishly.

"James." I gave him a knowing look.

"Why not now?" he asked excitedly.

"Because, I want to wait." I expressed this to him.

"Ok" he smiled softly.

"Hey what the hell? We don't get to know?" Gwen stood up from her spot on the floor and threatened her finger at us.

"You will, Tuesday night when we all meet up at the leaky cauldron." I smiled at her.

"Aww Lillers, I thought we were best buds? I want to know now." she pouted at me.

"Nope, you can wait like everyone else."

"Prongs, come on tell us." Sirius backed Gwen up.

"Nope, you can wait." he smiled at me.

It was then that we realized that we needed to get off of the train that had already been stopped for a few minutes. Gwen stood up, smiled at us all and made her way out of the compartment saying a quick goodbye and a comment that she wouldn't miss Tuesday night for the world, and that she'd owl me to get the time. Phoebe gave Remus a Kiss and followed Gwen, Remus smiled said about the same as Gwen had and left as well leaving James, Sirius and I as the last people. I sighed, I stood up, James did as well. Then I reached up and kissed him on the cheek and swept from the Compartment.

"Lily, you're not going to wait for me?" James came up and put his arms around my waist.

"Aww baby, did you want me too?" I turned around to see Skeeter pulling Sirius away.

"Yeah. Sirius we'll meet you outside ok?" he shouted to Sirius and Skeeters retreating backs.

"Ok." he hollered back.

"Shall we Miss Evans, future Mrs. Potter?" he grinned bashfully at me.

"Sure Mr. Potter." I pulled him along down the train corridor to the doors that led outside to Kings Cross.

We stepped out to find that it was smothered by students and their families getting ready to embark on their summer vacations. Remus and Phoebe we talking to their parents who had stopped near each other so they could talk. I scanned the platform to see if Gwen had left yet, I didn't know if she was going to go back to her mum's old place or what. I turned back to James to see him pointing over to his parents who were waiting patiently, as I'd never met his parents and felt him pull me along my stomach filled with fear. His mum was very beautiful, she had this golden auburn hair that fell in ringlets down her back. She had these warm hazel eyes which I noticed even from the distance that we were at us just the same as James's. His father had dark unruly black hair that resembled James quite a bit, and this serious look that made him seem natural.

"Mum, Dad, this is Lily Evans." he pulled me forward so that we were face to face.

"Hello Lily, we've heard so much about you." His mum held out her arms for a hug.

"Hello Mrs. Potter." I hugged her.

"Oh posh, you can call me by my first name Rose dear." she pulled back and smiled at me.

"It's nice to finally meet you Lily." His father reached out his hand good naturedly. "My name is Mathew, you can call me by that if you'd like?" he dropped her hand after we shook.

"It's nice to meet you both." I smiled shyly.

"Well shall we go, oh dear where Sirius is? I was wondering why there wasn't anything humorous going on." Mrs. Potter turned around to find Sirius.

"Oh there he is." She nodded over to where Sirius stood in front of Gwen and an older man by the looks of it.

"Yeah, it is." James looked over at them confusedly.

"I just wonder who that could be he's talking to, and by the looks of it rather heatedly." She began to walk swiftly over there like a mother protecting her prey.

"Rose. Rose don't stir up too much trouble." Mr. Potter began to walk after her. We sort of followed her quickly. When we reached them, they were all glaring at each other heatedly.

"Gwen. Go with James and his family." Sirius nodded to Mrs. Potter.

"Mr. Ackles. May I ask why you're here?" Mr. Potter stepped in front of Sirius and pushed him back so that he could step back.

"I am Here Potter to collect my Daughter who is being kept up by this young man who says that she'll be coming with him." Mr. Ackles. Spat at Mr. Potter who just looked very calm.

"Gwen, do you want to go with your father?" Mr. Potter looked over at Gwen who had come to stand behind me.

"No sir, it was my thought to go to the Leaky Cauldron until I could find a flat to rent." she spoke angrily from behind.

"Well then Ralf, if she doesn't want to go with you, well then I don't think you should be the one to make her. After all, is she not an adult now?" Mr. Potter put his arms behind his back.

"She is only but sixteen, not Seventeen for two full weeks. It is my right for her to come with me." he advance upon Mr. Potter with an angry look on his pristine pale face.

"Well, as she only has two weeks, I think she is old enough to make her own decisions." he replied back evenly.

"You deny me my own Daughter?" he stepped dangerously close to Mr. Potter with a murderous glare.

"Its ok." Gwen moved out from behind me. "I don't want to cause trouble, I'll go with him." she started to walk towards the exit of the cross.

"Good day." Mr. Ackles said before he started of to follow his daughter.

"Just one moment Mr. Ackles." Sirius held him back by the arm.

"What boy?" he sneered at Sirius.

"If you hurt a hair on her head, you'll have me to deal with." Sirius glared heavily up at him.

"Ahh, says the blood traitor black who consorts with mudbloods? What claim do you have to tell me that boy?"

"Her friend. And if I were you I'd watch the language." Sirius stepped back.

"Right boy." he stormed off after Gwen who was waiting fearfull eyed at the exit.

"Sirius, did you have to go and do that?" Mrs. Potter asked as she pulled him into a hug.

"Rosie, that is the girl that I'm in love with. I couldn't let her be taken away from me by some Slytherin jerk who only wants to trade her off for breeding." he huffed angrily.

"Sirius, why did you say that comment about if he touched her you'd deal with him." Mr. Potter asked calmly as ever.

"Because her father use to beat her mum when he was still with her. Then he left to marry a young witch that had just left Hogwarts. He divorced her and left Mrs. Ackles, Gwen's mum was heartbroken and turned to her for support of her and her younger sister Grendel, who up until Christmas were alive." I spoke while hugging James sideways.

"Is that so?" Mr. Potter asked still as calm as ever.

"Yeah Mr. Potter, it is. There is only but one other thing not mentioned. Gwen was once betrothed to Lucius Malfoy." I sighed.

"What?" Sirius rounded on me in shock. "Why wouldn't she tell me that?" he asked.

"Well, she's not too thrilled at the idea of remembering that bit of information. But don't worry Sirius, you've seen her mad, you've been the one on the other side of her hexes. She will take care of herself, you can bet on it." I patted him on the shoulder.

"Well, shall we get going then?" Mrs. Potter asked causually.

"Yeah, hey Lillers, where's your mum and dad?" Sirius asked me concernedly.

"Uhh, I'm going to take a train that's due to be here in about an hour up to Dublin and they're going to meet me there." I smiled at him.

"Oh posh we will drive you. Come along dears." Mrs. Potter started walking to the exit.

"Come on Lily, this means we'll get to spend some more time together." James winked at me pulling me along.

"Alright." I smiled walking with them after Mrs. Potter.

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We got home in a hurry, it was most obvious that my father had something planned that he needed to attend to. He dragged up to my old room at my mothers house, me realizing that he had taken it over and shoved me in my old room. I sat there on my bed sighing, I really didn't want to come back here, after all it was the house where my mother died in, my little sister too. I went over to my night drawer and pulled out a candle and a match, I lit the candle and the room exploded with light. Then I walked over to the chandelier and lit those candles too. Then I replaced the one I had in a holder back on my night drawer. I flopped down on my bed with an extremely bad headache and tried to will myself to sleep, but I couldn't. So I decided to go to Grendel's room to find one of her stuffed teddy's.

I opened my door and walked down the familiar corridor to Grendel's room, but when I opened the door I found nothing. I began to panic and walked to my mothers old room a flight of stairs up, there was nothing of hers left there either. That's when I ran into my step mum, she had sleek blonde hair that fell to her waist, an evil smile that made shivers run up your spine, and her name was Marissa, a name I've hated my entire life, even before my father ran off with the tramp. She smiled coldly at me, and put her hand on my shoulder.

"Gwendolyn, what are you doing in your fathers and I's room?" she asked softly but venomously.

"Where is my Sisters and Mothers stuff. Its gone, where is it?" I asked aggressively.

"Oh that old junk, your father moved it down to the basement where it ought to be. Don't worry, if you want it so bad go and get it." she pointed down the stairs.

"Fine I will." I stormed away from her.

I walked down the three flights of stairs to the ground floor, then I walked to the back of the house where a stairwell decended into the basement that covered the entire premises of the estate. I walked down the old creaky stairwell to the basement which I found filled with people all in black robes. My father was there, towards the head of the table surrounded by them. He seen me and stood up rather quickly.

"Gwendolyn. What are you doing down here?" he seethed. It was then that I really took in the people that were around him, they were Death Eaters, as I could assume. There had been an add about them attacking prominent ministry members houses and killing them. It was then that it dawned upon me that my father was one of them which would naturally mean…

"I came down here looking for Grendel's stuff. Marissa told me that it was down here." I took a step back.

"Its just around down that corridor there." he pointed to the main corridor that led all the way through the basement.

"Alright." I looked at him with anger that was boiling up inside of me, then I turned away and went down the corridor.

I kept walking until I seen a box that was filled with toy animals, I knew then that I'd reached the right place. I pulled the top one out, it was her teddy named Charlie, I'd gotten it for her tenth birthday. I sighed and hugged it to my chest. I knew I had to act like I didn't care when I walked past the room filled with Death Eaters, I knew that I had to get out of this house as fast as possible. So I turned around to leave, but blocking my way was Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy. He was standing there with a very coy amused look on his face, I tried my best to hold in my anger.

"Well well, its Miss Ackles. Sorting through your dead Sisters old effects?" he sneered at me.

"As it were Lucius, I was. Now if you will excuse me, I would like to go grab something to eat from the house elves and go back to my room." I pushed past him.

"No so fast love, I was sent here by your father, our host for the evening. He would like me to escort you back, there is something he'd love to chat with you about." he grabbed my elbow and began to tow be towards the group.

"Oh really, and what might that be?" I asked evenly, I couldn't give myself away.

"I would like for that, to be a surprise." he smirked.

"Right." Let him tow me back. We were half way there when something caught my eye, it was my mothers jewelry box.

"Wait." I said stopping and moving towards it.

"Aww your mothers jewelry box. Here." he shrunk it and handed it towards me. "A little something left of her." he sneered at me.

"Thanks." I smiled evenly at him, yet growled at him inside.

"Now lets move." he pulled me again towards the group.

"Ahh, Lucius. Thank you for escorting my daughter back here. You may take a seat before the Dark Lord arrives." he motioned for Lucius to sit back down.

"Gwendolyn, now as you know, or may not. I don't know if Lucius told you on your walk back from your mother's and sister's old belongings, you are betrothed once again." he announced so that the group of Dark followers could hear.

"I'm what?" I asked shocked. Then I realized if I let the anger show I'd blow my act.

"Betrothed to Lucius to be married." he smiled cruelly at me.

"Oh, that's wonderful." I forced myself to smile at my father then over at Malfoy. I needed to get out of this room fast.

"You are ok with this?" he narrowed his eyes.

"But of course I am father. May I please go up now?" I asked mock obediently, well mock in my head, to him it would have appeared as if I were respectfully asking permission.

"Very well, wedding arrangements will be made in the following hours." he nodded at me. And I walked up the stairwell slowly as if not to cause a second look.

I got up from the basement and walked slowly up to the kitchen which was located on the second floor. I asked my favorite house elf who looked delighted to see me if I could get a few sandwiches to go, she gave them to me and I left the kitchens. I hurried up to my room on the floor above mine where I promptly shut the door and locked it. Now I knew that the allohamora charm would unlock my door with a flick, so I needed to work fast. I grabed my trunk and threw all of the books and stuff I didn't need on the floor and threw everything I wanted to keep inside. Then I locked it and walked over to my now empty desk. I grabbed a chair and set it in my fireplace, then I grabbed the candle from my night drawer and lit it on fire. I grabbed my stash of firewhisky from my wardrobe and dumped it on the fire. It rose rapidly and the chair was reduced to cinders. The fire was roaring and ready to go so I grabbed my pouch of floo powder and threw a pinch inside the fire, it glowed emerald green and I grabbed my trunk and said the words..

"Potter Residence." then I stepped in and left the Death Eaters and my torture behind me.

_**AN: ok omg that was a bloody long chapter. Ok so I didn't get everyting done like I wanted but I got halfway there. Expect another long chapter in the coming days. Yes gwen does know that her father had a hand in killing her mother and sister, she's going to actually go through the pain next chapter, as in this one she had to make a run for it. The whole lily and james getting married thing will be announced in the next chapter as well as a visit from a death eater who is good! Nope its not Severus yet, but you will see. He's well, a future Death Eater and hates them. So he'll pass along info to Gwen who goes into hiding. Hope you enjoy! **_

**Peace and love to you in the knew year.**

**Herb3 Heather Rose Black**


	16. Of Hello's and Goodbyes

**January 4 2007**

**AN: kk so here is chapter the next… courtesy of heather-ific writing! Hope you like and that your not too pist by the time I'm done with this chapter. a lot of it is improv so don't worry, a bunch wont be the same in the end of the story which hopefully with be when Harry marries Ginny and Lillers and Jamers will be there to witness along with well you'll see… I'm not going to get too ahead of myself now **

**Peace**

**Love**

**And happiness in this chapter I hope with awaits you.**

**Chapter Sixteen: Of Hello's and Goodbyes.**

I'd just gotten to the Potters when I realized there was nobody home, it was most obvious that they hadn't finished with what ever they were going to do after we decended from the Hogwarts expresses scarlet boundaries. So naturally I got all scared and grabbed some more floo powder from my bag and tossed it into the fire. The emerald green flames rose up around the fire, welcoming and familiar. With no where else in mind to travel to I said the first words that came into my brain, I'd go to the one place where I know I would be safe, I'd go to Hogwarts.

"The Three Broomsticks." I shouted and stepped into the roaring emerald green flames that tickled my sides.

I opened my eyes to see The Three Broomsticks filled to the brim with Hogsmeade residents. I stood up hastily and bolted to the exit before anybody that would prove to be an enemy could catch a glimpse of me. I'd just made it to the door when a familiar voice caught me by surprise. I turned to see Hagrid walking joyfully towards me with a pint of ale swinging in his large grip.

"Hagrid." I swallowed hard.

"Gwen wha' are yer doin' here?" he gave me his normal delighted grin.

"Hey Hagrid I was just on my way up so see McGonagall" I scanned the contents of the pub to see mostly faculty and other citizens of the small village.

"Really, well yer in luck I tink. She's just o'er here." he began to lead me down the rows of tables that were laden with the drunken crowd.

I followed him closely. "Oh really Hagrid, thank you so much."

"No problem Gwen. Always pleased ter help a friend." he looked back and grinned at me.

"Hagrid, there you are." Professor McGonagall stood up and made room for him to squeeze in with her.

"Thanks Minnie. I found Gwen here looking fer yeh." he stepped aside so that she could see me.

"Miss Ackles. Is everything ok?" she looked down at me curiously.

"Not really Professor. I was.. I needed too.. I'm in pretty big trouble and you're the first person I thought to come to." I swallowed hard.

She raised her eyebrow. "Calm down dear and tell me what's happened." she led me to an empty table.

"Professor, you know that a war in the Wizarding world is beginning to start, don't you?" I sat down quickly and pulled up my hood on my cloak so that nobody would recognize me.

"Yes, are you involved?" she looked at me worried.

"No Ma'am. My father is and I accidentally walked in on him and all of the other members of the party, Death Eaters as I believed they're called. He's going to try and breed me off to one of them and I panicked."

"So you came to me?" she nodded her head sternly.

I nodded my head in shame. "Yes. I thought that you were the safest person to go too."

"Well, I can certainly help you find the most prominent place to hide yourself from your fathers clutches if that is what you so choose to do."

"Yes, that is exactly what I would like to do." I nodded heavily at her.

"Very well, then we shall start by.." But she broke off, her eyes led to where a man with silvery long blonde hair was standing with his eyes scanning the crowd. "Transfiguring you appearance." she waved her hand over my face. My golden blond curls retreated from the long perch about my arms and turned to a silky black color about my shoulders. She waved her wand again and I felt a prickle upon my nose as she transfigured it to look like somebody else's. Then with a last wave I felt my eyes prickle and my cheekbones. She handed me a hand mirror which she produced from her pocket. I took in my new appearance and smiled, I looked relatively like she did.

"Thank you Professor." I smiled at her.

She nodded at me. "Dear you can call me Minerva or rather to pull of this stunt, Aunt Minerva."

"Yes Ma'am." I nodded before feeling my hood being pulled back from my head. I looked around to see Lucius Malfoy looking at me with narrowed eyes.

"Sorry Miss. Professor." he nodded dolefully at us. "I thought you were somebody else." he flickered his eyes at me.

"As it were Mr. Malfoy this is my Niece Athena." she glared at him.

"Sorry Professor." he nodded before swiftly walking away.

"Thank you Professor… or err Aunt Minerva." I caught myself.

"Now why don't you come and have a drink with the rest of us." she stood up and motioned back to the table where she'd been just before we'd moved over here.

"Alright." I followed her over to the company, which included Flitwick, Slughorn, Madame Pigmy and Hagrid.

We spent the rest of the evening drinking ale and butterbeer (for me at least). Then at the end of the night McGonagall told me to follow her up to the castle so that she could make arrangements with Dumbledore about me. We arrived at the castle that gleamed in the late summer's sultry air. I followed her up into Dumbledore's office which we found attended by Dumbledore, Lucius Malfoy and My father. I sucked in a breath and stood behind the Professor shyly. She reached around and patted me assuringly on my shoulder before addressing Dumbledore.

"Albus, I came to talk to you about my niece staying here with me for the week. If you would please stop by my office after your finished here that would be appreciative." she nodded and pulled me from the room.

"This way Athena." she pulled me towards her office. When we arrived she pulled me to the painting of a lion that was hanging near the hearth. She said the password which happened to be Quidditch and the portrait swung open to reveal a hallway that was warmly lit. She led me in through the hallway to what appeared to be her sitting room. Then she motioned for me to sit down on the rather large plumpy scarlet sofa. I sat down obediently and she launched into an explanation of what we were going to do.

"Alright Gwen, I am now going to call you by the name Athena. We will negotiate you being on staff next term as the D.A.D.A teacher with Dumbledore whom we will not tell of your predicament. Is that clear?" she folded her hands on her lap.

"Yes Aunt Minerva."

"And Gwendolyn Ackles, will simply fade into the past. I really don't have a niece, or well Albus doesn't know this, he really has no idea. But that is what you shall become, nobody else but Athena Morrison. We must fashion you with a new last name. Are you ready?" she looked me strait into the eyes.

"Well it's either pain and misery or this." I smiled sheepishly. "I will choose this, I will leave my past where it is, in the past and move on." I nodded solemnly.

"Your very brave Athena, I could have never been brave enough to pull this off." she rested a hand upon my shoulder.

"Do you think Flitwick and Slughorn will ever tell Dumbledore?" I asked.

"Dear they were already drunk when you arrived, as was Madame Pigmy. They won't ever remember, nor will the say anything. And Hagrid, well he will keep your secret until you wish him not to." she smiled.

"Well, that's not going to be any good time soon."

"We will have to stage your death however, to cover our tracks." she looked at me solemnly.

"I understand. May I write a letter to my friends first, a letter as if I were just saying hello?"

"Of course you may dear." she stood up and walked over to a desk on the right hand side. She pulled me a quill, a two pieces of parchment and some ink. She handed me them just as a knock could be heard on the Portrait.

"You can write them on the desk if you wish." she told me before walking over to the portrait and descending to her office to have a chat with Dumbledore.

_Dear Lily, James, Remus, Phoebe and Peter._

_As it were I was writing a letter to you to say that I won't be able to make the dinner on Tuesday. I am sending one personally to Sirius so don't be worried by the lack of his name. Um my dad's keeping me locked up here until I turn seventeen so, I'll see you after that day then ok? Um I love you all loads and I'm sending with you my heart filled with laughter and love heehee I'm in a particularly good mood tonight. _That was a lie, but I kept on writing.

_Well I haven't much else to tell you other than that. But don't worry I will find out that good ole news you and James have Lily. I just am going to have to wait for a while to know, unless you want to send it to me via owl? Yes? You know you want to huh? Remus cheer up bout the whole Skeeter Werewolf thing ok? It's not becoming of a young man to brood so much about something so small in your friends' eyes. We love you for __you__ you big baboon love ya. Peter, find yourself a girlie mate. Phoebe take care of Remmie until I see you all next. Any who I'm about exhausted so night loves…_

_Love xoxo see ya soon._

_Gwendolyn Rose Ackles._

Then I wrote the one for Sirius, tears began to slip from my eyes.

_Dear Sirius, what's cracking?_

_Hey I was just err owling you because I thought about what happened today. Don't worry your pretty little head, I'm all good and happy! Wow this is going to be surprisingly short for a letter. Umm that's pretty much all. Oh and that no matter what, I'm always going to still love you. And if anything were to happen to me, I'd want you to be happy no matter what. Tell Lily and James but I'm sorry I cant make it tonight. I sent them a letter through Phoebe, she'll wait until Tuesday night to share it though. Umm… uh I guess that's all I have to uhh write I love you, talk to you soon. Well as soon as my father will let me leave this place which should be soon. _

_Love…_

_Gwen._

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I awoke on Monday morning to hear a soft tapping on my window, I opened my eyes to see a tawny owl at my window. I raised out of my bed to let the poor creature in whom looked like he'd been caught in a lightning storm, he reminded me vaguely of an owl from Hogwarts. He tumbled into my room and lay down tiredly on my pillow with a letter attached to his right talon. I pulled it off of him and he hooted at me in affection. Then he looked up at me with a pure honest look of hunger and thirst, so I went down to my kitchen where my parents were discussing wedding plans with my sister whom was getting married to an older wizard whom she was very in love with.

I walked back up to my room where the little owl was sitting observing the room quietly. I laid the bowl of water down on a book which I set on my bed. Then I put the couple of strips of bacon that I grabbed for the little thing next to them. Then I read the name to which the letter was dressed and smiled, it was labeled.. To Phoebe and Lily and The Marauders minus the tall handsome blue eyed one. I realized it was from Gwen. I decided that I would wait to open it with the everyone, as I was going to see them tomorrow I could wait. I got up from my desk, skipped to my closet where I dawned a pair of khaki shorts and a black plain muggle tee shirt that had a picture of a Dr. Pepper on it.

The little owl hooted at me in appreciation and flew out my window that I had left open for its use. Then I decided that I wanted to go see Remus who was due to be waking up from a full moon this morning. I skipped down the stairs and through the kitchen when I picked up a glass of pumpkin juice and a piece of toast. I finished the juice and vanished it with a puff. Then I stuck the toast in my mouth and disaparated with a pop. I felt the constriction of that tube that I felt as if was soon going to suffocate me when I popped out with a squeeze. I walked up to Remus's door and wrapped upon it, his mother, frail and sick looking, most likely staid the night up with Remus in a different room. She smiled at me warmly, knowing why I'd come.

"Hello Mrs. Lupin. Might I see Remus?" I placed my hands behind my back quietly and smiled.

"Of course dear, he had a bit of a bad night last night. He tried in vain to escape, gave him a bit of a muss really. Please do come in, he's going to be happy to see you." she motioned for me to come inside.

The Lupin household was an old one, it was built at least a hundred years previously, and secretly I loved it. It had a historical feel about it, it reminded me of Gwen, and she was always into history. Mrs. Lupin led me down to the dungeon where Remus was laying upon the floor covered with a blanket. She smiled at me and went back upstairs quietly. I walked over to Remus who was sleeping badly upon the stone floor.

"Remus." I pushed him a little.

"Wha?" he opened his beautiful amber eyes to me.

"Come on, wake up silly." I sat down next to him.

"Phoebe, what are you doing here?" he sat up quickly. His blanket slipped from his shoulders and slid down to his lap, his chest was bare and scratched.

"I came to see how you are silly." I hugged him.

"Really?" he patted me on the back.

"Yes of course. I knew that last night was the full moon and I knew that you'd be waking up in a bit of discomfort.

"Thanks Phoebe, I thought that you'd be…" he stopped as I pulled back roughly.

"Remus I love you, why would I ever care about something like that?" his words hurt me.

"Oh Phoebe I know that you love me, its just not everyone takes kindly to people like Me." he looked down in shame.

"Remus, people like you? Remus you're the same guy I met on the first day of our first year. I fell in love with you, and who you are. Not what you will become once a month." I pulled him back into a hug.

"Thanks Phoebe. Hey err, I'm kind of naked, so if you want to go wait up stairs with my mum…" I cut him off.

"Only if you want me too."

"Well, I err don't care either way really. Its more of a what you would care thing." he grinned sheepishly.

"Where are your clothes." I looked around the room until I spotted his clothes stacked upon the bookshelf that was chained to the wall.

"Over there." he pointed to where I was already looking.

"I'll get them." I winked at him.

"Uhh ok." he blushed heavily.

I walked back with them in hand. "Shall we get you dressed?" I set the shirt, trousers and socks upon the floor holding up only his white underwear.

"Uhh sure?" he blushed furiously.

"Good, I think you'll need the help." I reached down and kissed him upon the lips.

"Ok." he smiled when I pulled away.

"Well first things first, you need to stand up dear." I pulled him up.

"Ok." his face looked about as red as the plush Gryffindor couches back at Hogwarts.

"Relax love, your only getting dressed right?" I winked at him.

"Yep." he pulled me into his arms.

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I awoke groggily to the sound of a incessant tapping on my window. I got up and let the blasted owl in who was carrying a letter. The owl was grey and soaked, although it was June. I patted it upon the head and took the letter addressed to me. It hooted its head angrily, he wanted something to eat. So I grabbed a chocolate frog, ripped off its wrappings and tossed it to the thing. It hooted and took off into the sunlight. I sat down on my bed and ripped open the letter, it was Gwen's handwriting that had scrawled my name on the front.

_Dear Sirius, what's cracking?_

_Hey I was just err owling you because I thought about what happened today. Don't worry your pretty little head, I'm all good and happy! Wow this is going to be surprisingly short for a letter. Umm that's pretty much all. Oh and that no matter what, I'm always going to still love you. And if anything were to happen to me, I'd want you to be happy no matter what. Tell Lily and James but I'm sorry I cant make it tonight. I sent them a letter through Phoebe, she'll wait until Tuesday night to share it though. Umm… uh I guess that's all I have to uhh write I love you, talk to you soon. Well as soon as my father will let me leave this place which should be soon. _

_Love…_

_Gwen._

The parchment was tearstained, ink smudged all about. I jumped out of bed and ran as fast as my legs could carry me to Mr. Potter who was eating a bowl of cereal down in the kitchen before he had to go into the office. He looked up at me worriedly, he could tell that I was terrified, I could feel the look displayed upon my face.

"Sirius, what's wrong?" He asked quietly and calmly.

"Gwen, she sent me a letter." I held it out to him. He received it quietly and began to read.

"It appears as if nothings really wrong Sirius, you knew that her father wanted her with him until she was seventeen." he handed me back the letter.

"Mr. Potter, I can swear to you that something is wrong, I've been feeling it for the last four days." I sat down in a chair next to him.

"By law there is nothing that we can do, you'll see her soon." he patted my shoulder. "Now I'm off to work, look after Lily and James until tonight, you never know what they're doing up in James's room." he winked at me and disappeared in a pop.

I raced up the stairs to James and Lily's room, Mrs. Potter had insisted upon them sharing a room for some reason, she wouldn't tell me why. I slammed open the door to find them snogging, with their clothes on fortunately. The broke apart and looked angrily at me, Lily sat up and glared at me.

"Is there something wrong Sirius?" she spat.

"Yeah Lily, Gwen's not coming to the dinner tonight. And she's being locked up by her father" I stormed angrily about the room.

"What?" Lily stood up and walked over to me.

"How do you know that?" James followed her.

"Because its in the letter she wrote me, look see… I shoved the letter into their faces, they read it and grew sad.

"Her father." Lily spat angrily walking around the room.

"I guess there isn't much we can do is there?" James put his arm around lily's shoulders.

"No, I guess not. I'm going to owl her though." Lily left the room swiftly.

"Well Padfoot, I'm sure everything's ok." James put his arms around my shoulder in a brotherly hug.

"No Prongs, I don't feel like it is."

"Well time will tell mate. Plus you've got Skeeter now, doesn't she make you happy?" he asked truthfully, he didn't know that Skeeter was blackmailing me, and I knew Lily wouldn't just tell him.

"No mate, she doesn't. I hate Rita Skeeter." I glared at him defiantly.

"Well then why did you cheat on Gwen?" he looked confused.

"Who told you that?"

"Nobody Sirius, I guessed it. By the way you were acting it was kind of obvious."

"Skeeter blackmailed me into doing it. And as soon as I see Gwen again I'm going to tell her."

"Well mate, that's the best we can do." he patted me on the shoulder. "Come on, lets go get some food mate. Then we'll get dressed and meet Phoebe, Remus and Peter later for dinner."

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They arrived at the Leaky Cauldron about six that evening, I'd been waiting there to watch them, to here the news that Lily and James said they had. My guess was that they were going to get married, and that thought brought so many conflicting emotions. They showed up all dressed comfortably with huge smiles on their faces. Phoebe read the letter to them and they all laughed at some parts and looked extremely sad at others. Sirius was the most broody of them, he sat there next to Remus and Peter sulking the entire night.

"So Lily, James what did you want to tell us?" Phoebe looked up at Lily and James knowingly. I wish that I could be there, but I'd made the promise to myself and McGonagall that I would follow this through.

"Well, I umm, well we just wanted to uhh inform you that… uhh.. Um.." Lily looked over at James who was watching her in amusement.

"We're going to get married." he smiled. Lily took her seat back down on her chair.

"Congrats you two." Remus picked up his goblet. "To Lily and James's Engagement. And to Gwen as she is not here to celebrate with us." he jerked his goblet up. They all copied him and murmured a reply, it killed me that I was going to do this to them.

"Athena." I heard Professor McGonagall's voice from behind me.

"Hello Aunt Minnie." I smiled at her.

"Your crying." she noted.

"Yeah, I am." I motioned to the group.

"Well my dear, is it not that your trying to keep them safe?" she smiled sadly at me.

"Yeah, after all if I were with them, and they knew where I was.." I stopped.

"Professor McGonagall." I heard James say across the room.

"Hello James." She nodded at him.

"Come and Join us, you and your friend both." he motioned to two chairs at the end of the table.

"Oh that's ok, we were just leaving right Athena?" she asked me.

"Yeah.." But Lily cut me off.

"Oh wont you please?" she looked at us pleadingly.

"Well if you want to Athena?" My Aunt asked me.

"Sure." We got up and sat down into the chairs James had indicated to us.

"So how are you Minnie?" Sirius's face got a bit brighter as he spoke to her.

"Black I am just fine. You?" she took a drink of a goblet the waiter had set down for her.

"Good, well I'm ok." he smiled. I knew he'd always liked McGonagall as a friend, he looked to her as a cousin or whatever it was he looked at her bout.

"Hello, my name is Remus." Remus decended his hand for me to shake. I did.

"Hello, I'm Athena." I smiled solemnly, after all, I did already know them.

"Hello Athena, I'm Lily." Lily smiled across the table to me.

"I'm Peter" Peter smiled over at me.

"James." James nodded.

"I'm Phoebe." She looked strait into my eyes, and for some reason I had a feeling she knew.

"And this mutt here." James jabbed his thumb at Sirius. "The guy sulking, is Sirius."

"Hello everybody." I smiled.

"Well we really must be leaving. Congratulations Lily, James. Come along Athena." My aunt stood up.

"Nice to meet you. And congrats." I followed my aunt and we departed once again to Hogwarts. When we returned we ran into Dumbledore who was looking frantic.

"Minerva, will you and Gwen please follow me to my office." I motioned for us to follow us.

"Professor Dumbledore, how did you know?" I asked curiously.

"Well my dear your eye color may be different, but your eyes are still the same." he politely said to me.

We reached his office to find it empty besides his Phoenix who was hooting away on his perch.

"Miss Ackles, there was recently a prophecy made about you." Dumbledore turned to face us.

"Huh?" I raised my eyebrow. He had to be kidding me, I mean why on earth would there be a prophecy about me?

"That's why your father wants to marry you to Malfoy. You are supposed to have a truly evil child." his eyes grew weary.

"Huh?" a what?

"Although Voldemort knows of this Prophecy and is most likely going to see to it that it is yours and his child that will become evil." he sat down at his desk.

"So then I um… well it's a good thing that I'm err in hiding?" wait what? I was slightly confused. A Prophecy? Voldemort and an evil child?

"Well yes, and no. it just means they are going to stop at no lengths to get you." he nodded gravely.

"Well that is err, umm so… A prophecy about me having an evil child? With Voldemort?" I spat the last bit out.

"Yes, well no. Its not too particular with the wizard, just the type of one."

"Albus, what are you saying?" Minerva asked suddenly.

"I think its best that we do fake you death, as soon as it were possible actually." he nodded.

"Who made the prediction?" I asked.

"Phoebe O'haare." he nodded.

"Phoebs?" I asked shocked.

"Yes. About three months ago, it just took me until now to realize that it was you."

"How do you know?"

"Because Miss Ackles, your father."

"My father?"

"Is mentioned in the Prophecy."

"Then how does Voldemort know?"

"As it were he has a spy."

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I woke up the morning after Lily and James told us about their engagement to a feeling a dread in my stomach. I got up, dressed and went down into the kitchen. It was kind of odd, Mrs. Potter was sitting at the table looking at the Daily Prophet in horror. James and Lily were sitting at the end of the table both crying silently into each others arms. Mr. Potter was pacing the room with a sad look in his eyes. I stretched and yawned, I wonder what they were all behaving so badly to?

"Sirius." Mr. Potter seen me and strode over to me.

"Yeah?" I raised my eyebrow.

"Son, there uhh. There was an accident." he picked up the Daily Prophet.

"What happened?" I asked curiously.

"Well Sirius, Gwen uhh…" he handed me the paper. "Well son Gwen is dead."

**Girl Dies in Death Eater Attack at Hogwarts.**

**Late last evening Gwendolyn Rose Ackles, 16 just about to be 17 died in a death eater raid upon Hogwarts by the mysterious attempts of The growing dark lord as he calls himself, lord Voldemort. Gwen, just out of Hogwarts not but less then a week ago was injured in the heat of the fight by her father, known and now convicted death eather, Ralf Jonas Ackles. Gwen had apparently gone to meet and old time friend Rubeus Hagrid, who told our new star reporter, Rita Skeeter that gwen was a wonderful person and did not deserve to die at such an early age. Her best friend Lily Evans is to be informed about this tragedy and will most likely make the funeral preporations. Following information will be written in the coming days.**

Tears started to steam down my face, surely this couldn't be true. How could this be true, she… no I couldn't and

wouldn't believe this. I was going to march up to Dumbledore and demand the truth, he would tell me the truth. And with

that I left that kitchen, that lying Daily Prophet laying upon the ground and went to where I knew the truth to be, to Hogwarts.

_**An; so your mad, and i dont blame you it will get better, this is just a stop along the way. and as lily and james wont die i had to create some drama. sirius kinda sucked well i sucked at writing towards the end but im dead tired and my butt hurts so im sorry. i'll have more up soon. thanks to the reviews, they mean so much to me.**_


	17. And all the time, she's on your mind

**Started……….**

**January the 5****th****, 2008 at the time of 8:19 pm, pacific.**

**An: So uhh, here is the next chapter of Never Let Me Go… and it will be better, and happier coz well Gwen's little charade won't really work now will it? So the prophecy will be explained and a surprise guest whom I love and adore named err… I'll let it be a surprise. So set back, and get set for another fulfilled chapie of Nlmg…….**

**Peace and love until the end….**

Chapter Seventeen: And all the time, she's on your mind…

It had been three weeks since I had to fake my own death, it was simple really. Dumbledore called Skeeter who just happened to be a Death Eater to his office, while I was in there. So she seen me and let Moldyshorts, I'd like to call him that, know that I was indeed at Hogwarts. Then I staged it rather elaborately by walking down to Hogwarts in my Gwen form when they arrived, Dumbledore had let down the barrier for them to get in. then my father came and seen me, we duelled and Skeeter watched my good ole' dad send a green flash at me. So all in all she was a good little reporter and reported in the following morning in the prophet while during the night we made a fake corpse and called the ministry while I took back on the identity of Athena.

Sirius came the following morning looking devastated, but it really was for his own protection, it had to be done. He refused point blank to believe that I was dead and that I simply had 'faked it' as I really had done. But it was worth it I believe, he'd forget me in time and move on and I'd be a good little coward and teach at Hogwarts for the following term. They held a funeral for my fake body a few days following the stunt, McGonagall made me go as a way to meet and end of an old life and to leave the past where it should lie, in a cold hard mahogany casket. And in ways it did help me leave the past where it was. Phoebe came over to me afterwards though, pulling along Remus who looked like hell. She stopped by My Aunt and I, and smiled. Then she looked me strait in the eye knowingly and simply said.

"Thank you for coming." then she nodded her head at the both of us and tugged the weeping Remus behind her towards an old oak tree that I'd known to be the disaparation/aparation point.

"Come along Athena, we should return to the castle." Minerva ushered me along to the tree.

"Professor." we heard a familiar voice call at us.

"Yes Mr. Black?" we turned around to see him.

"If you see Gwen, tell her that it's ok to come back. I'll find a way to keep her safe, I know she's still alive." he had tears in his eyes. He really didn't want to believe that I was in fact dead, that she was dead.

"I'm sorry Sirius, but I don't believe that she is." she gave him a saddened look and sighed.

"Oh, well its just that she looked to you the most for figuring out things, especially after her mothers and sisters death." he shoved his hands in his pockets.

"I'm sorry dear." she smiled at him in the best of her abilities and pushed me along once again to the tree.

"Professor, I want to thank you for coming. It would have meant the world to her." his eyes glazed over me. I'd been crying it was just so hard to see all of the people I love fall to tears like they had.

"Oh you're most welcome, Gwen was a good student. And I'm sure wherever she is, she's watching us all kindly." she nodded.

"Yes. And thank you, Miss uhh…" he nodded at me.

"Morrison." I choked out.

"You're Athena Morrison, right?"

"Yes." I choked out again.

"Thank you for coming, you may have not known her but I'm sure you'd love her." he turned and walked back to Lily and James who were standing quietly near the headstone.

"Come along dear, I fear you've had enough emotions to deal with today." she ushered me to the tree and we left back to Hogwarts.

The months following that until the start of term which I would take my new role as Professor went quite swiftly. I'd heard of Lily, James, Sirius and Phoebe's new jobs. Lily, James and Sirius were auror's in the ministry; they were all set on ridding the world of Voldemort and his evil followers. Phoebe took on a job as an unspeakable in the Department of Mysteries and Remus a job as a book keeper. I never heard much about Peter, he always seemed to be somewhere else. Then about August Dumbledore began a society of wizards all hell bent on getting rid of moldyshorts and his demonic sadistic followers. I of course was asked to join under my alias, Athena.

Then with a wave the start of the next term at Hogwarts started, and with that brought students and essays to grade, which was a horrible feat, I'd never known how hard it was on my Professors until then. Most students were courteous to me, as I was the Defence against the Dark arts teacher, a job that's been cursed for at least my whole Hogwarts career. Dumbledore and McG, (my new nickname for the old softy) kept me on my feet, I never got much time to think about the past which is what, and I believed that they wanted. I had my first raid on the Death Eaters in the beginning of September just after school had started up once again. I was partnered off with Sirius much to my dislike, I didn't really want to be too close to him just in case he'd found out.

It really wasn't until the first part of October did my little charade get cracked, and how he knew who I was I'd never know. It was just after I'd eaten lunch on a Sunday when I heard a tapping at my office door. So naturally I was curious and opened up the door, there standing there with a worried glance on was Regulus Black. He looked up at me and smiled softly then let himself into the room. Then after I had shut the door he used some unknown spell to lock my door and took a seat in the chair in front of my desk. He kicked up his boots on my desk and put his hands behind his head, how alike he was to his brother in attitude always made me laugh.

"Yes Mr. Black?" I asked walking around to my seat.

"Oh Gwen, call me Regulus please. Mr. Black is too formal, after all we are the same age are we not?" he smirked at me.

"Mr. Black I'm sorry but I am in fact not Gwen Ackles."

"Yeah, look Gwen I know about the prophecy. One that will be forced, the other the forcer. The forced will have an adulterous father who shall kill the mother, the forcer shall truly evil." he raised his eye brow at me.

"How do you…?"

"Look Gwen, I've got contacts in the stinking rot of a group. I was at the last meeting, he truly does trust me. Why I'll never know, my Legilemancy (sp?) was always crappy, I'd thought he'd of seen through my little lie of desire I'd planted. But Anywho, I am out to bring him down into the ground see, I don't believe in his anti love spree because I know its wrong. I've seen people in love, I am in love. And with a muggleborn no doubt."

"Wait, who?" he'd gotten me curious.

"Aimee Edwards. She's a Hufflepuff." he smiled.

"Very cute, she's always been so sweet." I folded my hands.

"So now Gwen, go back to my brother. I know he hates me, that he wants nothing to do with me, but I still love him. Go on, he'll be so happy, you seen him after your funeral." he sat up and looked my strait in the eye.

"How'd you know?" I sighed.

"Your eyes… they're only a different colour, the shape is the same."

"Reg, I can't go back. It'll get him hurt. I don't want to loose him; at least I know he's still alive with me gone." I sighed.

"Alright, then he'll come to you." he stood up and walked to the door where he took off the enchantment that he'd placed there.

"Reg you've got to promise not to tell him." I followed him.

"Oh don't worry, I won't. You will." a knock sounded on the door.

"Reg…" he pulled open the door to face Sirius who looked down at his brother in confusement.

"Heya Sirius. Come in we were just having a chat." he pulled Sirius in and replaced the enchantments.

"Reg what the hell?" he turned around angrily.

"Aww Sirius, calm down its nothing to be worried about." he grinned sheepishly at his older brother.

"Regulus, why did you call me here? Why did you forge a letter by Athena and why are you messing us around?" he was angry now.

"Because Bro, I called you here to tell you that Gwen's alive, I forged the letter because Athena has more to do with this then you think, and trust me Bro, I'm not messing you around. And no there aren't any of my Death Eater buddies hanging about the place." he folded his arms across his chest.

"Gwen's not dead? Do you know where she is?" he stood up and advanced on his brother.

"No, she's in hiding. There was a Prophecy made that made her go into hiding, she wanted you to be safe. Yes I know where she is, but I'm not the one that will tell you, she is going to be." he glared at me.

"A Prophecy? About what? What on earth could possibly scare her into hiding?" Sirius sat back down in the chair.

"I'm going to leave you two alone." I smiled and made for the door.

"Don't you worry about leaving; you won't get through the enchantments." Reg grinned at me.

"Let me out." I glared at him.

"Nope, not tell you hear me out." he turned back to Sirius.

"Well bro, you let your death eater of a girlfriend scare you in to submission." he spat at him.

"My what?"

"Skeeter is a Death Eater." Regulus walked around my desk and sat in my chair.

"I'd believe that, the hag." Sirius grimaced.

"Yeah well, if you were told that you'd give birth to the most evil child in existence wouldn't you hide away? Not only for your safety and the ones that you loves safety, for the safety of the world?" he put his arms behind his head.

"You mean she's going to have a kid?" Sirius looked repulsed. "But we never…"

"Not you, you buffoon. With Voldemort. Or Malfoy, which ever one paid her father the most gold. I'd expect Voldemort with his pursuit of her, went nuts when he'd heard Malfoy was getting her, he ordered Malfoy to marry our lovely cousin Cissy."

"So that's why she faked her death?"

"Well think about it in her shoes, she'd have to do _that_, with him." he spat.

"That thought completely repulses me." he looked ready to gag.

"And that my brother is why I'm helping you." he smiled. "Athena, just where about in the world did you live before you came here?"

"I, err in Greece." I glared at him.

"Yes, Greece. And why prey tell do you have a British accent?" he nodded.

"I lived here until I was ten, then I went abroad to Beauxbatons while living in Greece." I sneered. He promised me he'd not give my secret away.

"Very well, I'm sure you are in fact McGonagall's Niece." he rolled his eyes at me.

"Alright Mr. Black, will you and your brother please leave my office. I do have about ten million essays to grade." I pointed to the door.

"But of course Professor. Remember, we had a deal. So there for I will give you until the end of the month." he smiled and removed the enchantments on the door.

"Mr. Black, please don't forget the essay due in tomorrows lesson." I nodded strictly.

"Ahh Gw… I mean Athena, I wont." and with that he skipped from my office.

"I'm sorry you had to be here for that." Sirius walked over to the door.

"Oh, no I'm sorry you had to be put through that." I smiled.

"I shall see you at the next meeting then shall I?" he grinned at me.

"Of course." I smiled and nodded.

"Very well, goodbye Athena. Good luck with the essays though." he nodded at the parchment strewn desk of mine.

"Thanks. Goodbye Sirius." I told his retreating figure.

And the only thing that I didn't see, was a pretty little beetle perched upon Sirius's robe, I expect he didn't even know.

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The time between my meeting with Reg and Sirius up until Halloween went in the blink of an eye. I awoke on the morning of Halloween to find that there was rain pouring down in buckets. I got up and pulled on some clothes, then I decended from my quarters to the great hall to eat some breakfast. I found Regulus however, standing in my way upon arrival of the great hall. He looked up and seen me coming down the staircase and smirked. Then he walked up to me with a letter in hand smiling deviously.

"Good Morning Gwen." he smirked handing me the letter.

"Keep it down." I looked around to see if anyone was looking.

"Oh calm yourself Athena, that there is a letter via my bro to you." he stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"Oh really? To Athena?" I narrowed my eyes.

"Nope, to Gwen." his devious smile was permanent.

"Keep It down Reg; we can't have anybody finding out."

"Don't worry love, nobody will. Now there was however something I'd uhh, like to ask you." He looked about the corridor to make sure nobody was eavesdropping.

"Sure." I sighed and rested my back against the stone wall.

"Err, well I wanted to… How would I go about asking Aimee to Hogsmeade today?"

"Wait your in love with her but haven't told her?"

"Yeah…" he blushed.

"Just ask her." I shrugged.

"What if she thinks I'm lying?" he looked up at me worried.

"Well, as you're a Slytherin, I could see why she would think that, but if you truly do love her, well then you've got to show her." I crossed my arms.

"Ok, well then I'm off to ask her. Don't get yourself into too much trouble though Gwen, I do actually want a niece or a nephew you know." he winked and walked away.

"I'll think about that." I called after him as he entered the hall. A few seconds after that I walked into the hall after Reg, Dumbledore had decorated the hall as elaborate as they ever were.

"Athena, happy Halloween." Minerva smiled as I sat down next to her.

"Happy Halloween Minerva." I patted her on the back.

"Who is the letter from?" she noticed the sealed letter I was carrying.

"Um from Sirius." I looked down pointedly at the table.

"Oh, you two seem to becoming friends." She buttered a piece of toast.

"Well, kind of. At least he is trying, I'd like to keep a distance." he shrugged.

"Minerva, Athena. Will you please follow me?" Dumbledore was standing in front of us.

"Of course Albus, why?" McG stood up and pulled me along with her.

"We shall talk about it in my office." he strode swiftly up through the corridors.

We walked through the corridors of Hogwarts quickly; it was most obvious that something was wrong, quite wrong. We reached his office and ascended the moving stairwell up. When we were all inside and sealed off from the rest of the castle did her speak.

"There will be a raid tonight; my source has tipped us off. They're going to attack Hogsmeade, the castle is as of now going to go into lock down, you however Gwen will be on mission with the order." he sat down into his chair behind his desk.

"Mission?" I sat down in one of the chairs in front.

"Yes, I will be calling the meeting just after three when the students shall be back from Hogsmeade. From there you and your partner will be patrolling the village together." he folded his hands and placed them upon the surface of his desk.

"Alright." I nodded. Just great, fighting the forces of the guy who wants to impregnate me with the seed of evil alongside the man that I'm in love with although he doesn't even know that I'm me.

"Albus, do you think that this will be bad?" Minerva asked sternly.

"Yes Minerva, I do believe that it will be. I thought it best to tell you now, if in the case something did go wrong, and that you would have time to prepare." he nodded.

"Alright, so until three then??" I stood up.

"Yes, meet me back here then. After that we shall move to the hogshead where the meeting shall take place." he nodded.

"Well then, I guess I'll talk to you later, I have a couple of essays to still grade."

"Yes, alright. We shall see you at lunch then I assume?" Minerva smiled.

"Yeah, I'll be there with bells clamped to my feet." I walked towards the exit.

"Goodbye Athena." Minerva smiled.

"See ya." I swung down the exit.

The day went by swiftly; before I could register it was two thirty. I left the confines of my office to depart for Dumbledore's when Regulus ran into me.

"Gwen, listen. There is going to be an attack on Hogsmeade tonight at sundown." he was out of breath.

"I know, we know. So just take a chill pill ok." I patted him on the shoulder. "And its Professor Morrison Reg, we can't be going around shouting my real name about."

"I know. I'm just so used to…"

"Alright." I cut him off. "I'm on my way now to a meeting; we're going to protect the Castle and Hogsmeade ok."

"Alright." he sighed.

"How'd it go with Aimee?" I smiled.

"It went." he said simply.

"Bad?" I raised my eyebrows.

"No, but not good either. She thinks that this is some horrible joke that I'm going to dangle her along." he sighed.

"Well prove her wrong. Only you can do that, and if it means standing up to your friends, then that's what you'll have to do."

"Take care tonight Gwen; like I said already, I do want a little niece or nephew to come from you. So be careful, I know that when this is over Sirius is going to be waiting for you." he pulled me into a hug.

"Reg, everything's going to be alright. Maybe tonight I'll kick Moldyshorts butt and we can all be safe again, living in peace." I patted him on the back.

"Yeah, did you read Sirius's letter yet?" he pulled back and asked.

"No, it's still in my pocket. I haven't really had the time to. But don't worry I will, tonight after I get back from kicking Moldyshorts in the face."

"Do please. Be careful, watch out for nasty hexes and be safe ok?"

"Ok Reg, don't worry. Geeze where is this whole attitude coming from? I'll be ok alright?" I patted him on the shoulder.

"I just want you to know that even though I've tried to kill you via bludger in the past does not mean that I don't care about you, you're like a sister."

"Aww Reg, I love you." I smiled at him.

"I love you too, now go and kick some butt ok?"

"You bet love, you bet." I walked away.

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Darkness was descending upon Hogsmeade quietly, it was sundown and all was quiet. I looked over at Sirius who was looking about for any movement that should prove hazardous. I sighed and looked down at the ground; I wished it really didn't have to be like this. If there was only a way to fix all of this, if only there was a way to go back…

"So Athena, this might not go so swell tonight." Sirius whispered to me.

"It won't, but hey at least we will die for a cause." I smiled over at him through the darkness.

"True, so you and Reg know each other quite well." He commented.

"Reg's a good kid, very down to earth." I nodded.

"Clearly you haven't known him long; he's quite the vicious Slytherin, well when he wants to be."

"Do you know he's in love with a muggleborn Hufflepuff?" I looked at him angrily. Reg was really a good kid, very caring, very brave.

"Huh? The little pureblood prince? We are of course talking about Regulus Augustus Black, right?" he looked scandalized.

"The one and only, her name is Aimee, Aimee Edwards." I nodded.

"Really?"

"Yeah, he truly is quite like you…" I realized my mistake. "I mean, I've known you only a couple of months, and the similarities in character are very distinguishing."

"Huh? He's always hated me; in fact last year, my last year at Hogwarts, he sent a bludger at my girlfriend Gwen. He wanted to hurt her, I know it." I spat angrily.

"Quidditch is of course Quidditch." If I could forgive Reg for that, then he shouldn't have too much of a problem.

"Eh, I disagree. Until he shows me that he's changed, then I'll never believe it. Even if he does know where she's hiding, even if he does love a muggleborn, although that would make me proud, I won't believe it."

"Time heals all." I smiled at him.

"You remind me quite a lot of her Athena, Gwen I mean. When she found out that I'd cheated on her she didn't even get angry, well she didn't the second time. But I only did it to save her, I was blackmailed into it." He sighed.

"So Regulus has said." I sighed and plunged my hand into my pocket. I felt a piece of paper and pulled it out, it was the letter from Sirius, I'd totally forgotten.

"What's that?" he asked reaching his hand out to take it.

"Nothing" I hastily tried to put it back into my pocket.

"No, that looks like…" he looked up at me. Hell I was such a bleeding idiot, how could I forget that in the first place, and why in the hell did I have to go and pull it out now?

"It's just a letter from my mum." I glanced worriedly around our hiding spot, still no Death Eaters.

"No its not. Why do you have that? Do you know where she is?" his voice started to rise.

"Black, Death Eaters remember? They're watching us you bloody dumbkoph." I put my hand over his mouth. Then I realized if I had really lived in Greece, went to Beauxbatons, then I'd not speak German. Crap.

"Gwen?" He looked up at me hurt.

"No, it's Athena." I snarled.

"Gwen why? Why did you lie?"

"My name is Athena, not Gwen. Don't you get it Sirius, I'm not Gwen, nor will I ever be." I spat.

"Your eyes…" he stopped. "They're only a different colour."

"Sirius, stop. If they find out, if they find out you know they'll kill you for information. You have to forget, you have to never think of me as Gwen, only as Athena."

"Why are you worrying about me? Its you that you should be worried about." he pulled me into a tight hug.

"Sirius, please. You have to see where I'm coming from."

"I do, I've just missed you so much Gwen…"

"Athena. Damn it Sirius, he knows Legilemancy, he'll pick your mind in a second. I'm not Gwen, I've never been Gwen. I will never ever be Gwen ok?"

"Alright." he said. Then he leaned forward and kissed me, it was just as warm, just as soft as it had ever been.

"Sirius…"

"No Athena, I know. But don't worry; we'll make it through this. And when were done I'm going to marry you." he reached his hand into his pocket.

"What…?"

"Athena, I've been carrying this around since the last time I seen you. That day on the Hogwarts express. I will marry you, and you and I will have children together, pure good ones. It's going to be just fine, I swear. And I know it because I love you, I'm in love with you, I always have been." he pushed a ring on my finger.

"Sirius… I don't know what to say… I love you too…" I felt tears leak from my eyes.

"Well, well, well. What have we here? A kissing couple, oh how sweet Black, you've found a female." a snarling voice came from behind us.

"Malfoy." Sirius stood up and started duelling with him.

"Stupefy." I yelled at him, he fell to the ground stunned.

"Bleeding sot." Sirius cursed at him.

"Come on, we better go and help fight." I pulled him through the street.

We were then insured in a raging battle near the Three Broomsticks. Lily and James were duelling Doholov and Carrow; they were slashing and brandishing their wands in defence. Sirius and I took over on Doholov who looked up in surprise. He instantaneously went into combat with Sirius, not even turning a wink to me. It was then that a whole new wave of Death Eaters arrived and with them was their master, Lord Voldemort or as I would naturally call him, Lord Moldyshorts. He commanded them to split up and capture us, and soon we were all held violently by His Death Eaters. Some of us did manage to escape to the Ministry for additional help.

"Ahh now let's see just who we have here." Voldemort walked around the circle that his Death Eaters had formed with us in their clutches.

"Members of the Order my Lord." Carrow smiled cruelly up Moldyshorts.

"I know Carrow, I'm quite aware that Dumbledore's stooges think that they could thwart me.

"If you hadn't notice buddy, but some of us did escape to Dumbledore and the ministry. You're not too big there, or wait you are… Ahh no that's just your ego." I spat at him.

"Who are you, you little ingrate." he snarled at me.

"Pfft, if you haven't guessed then I'm sure that you really aren't all powerful like you say then are you?" I glared at him.

"Ahh, yes the little girl that I came here tonight to pluck. Little Gwendolyn Ackles, motherless, due to your own father." his lips curled.

"Sorry bub, but I'm not Gwen." I smirked.

"Oh really, well then. Bella please bring your cousin in here, we shall see if she's lying." he nodded his head.

She brought Sirius into the center of the circle. "Crucio" he yelled at Sirius who screamed in pain.

"Leave him alone. Your think that just because you can wield a wand you can big a big shot don't you?" I struggled against my captor.

"Take of the enchantments Gwen and lover boy here will be unharmed. I really don't want to spill precious magical blood, now the mudblood over there…" he pointed his wand at Lily, James started going mad.

"I've already told you…"

"Crucio" He pointed his wand at Sirius who buckled in pain again.

"Fine… Just leave them alone." I snapped.

"Very good."

"I'm not kidding you Moldyshorts, you touch a hair on my friend's heads after this I'll do myself in, and you won't be able to stop me" I seethed.

"Agreed. Now take of the enchantments." he snarled evilly.

"Fine" I replied before taking the charms that changed my appearance off. I felt my golden hair fall down my shoulders, my nose prickle as well as my cheeks, and I felt myself shrink.

"Very good."

"Gwen, please don't do this." Sirius begged me through rasping breaths.

"Sirius, if it keeps you all safe, then I'll do what I must." I felt a tear fall down my cheek.

"Good, release them and let's go." Moldyshorts strode forward and grabbed me about the waist. Then all of the Death Eaters disaparated with a pop and we vanished with a swirl of smoke.

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It's been three hours since He took Gwen, and in reality its felt like three billion hours. I can't believe that she would just give in like that, I mean its Gwen, she's a fighter, why would she just let some evil guy walk in and sweep her away? I baffled me, it really did. James and Lily are angry with me, that I knew who she was, where she was, why she was there… yet I told them nothing of it. I mean sure, I've known since she did it, but it was in my character to know. Sirius and Remus are silent, Remus feels that he's lost her all over again; Sirius is just waiting for that moment where he'll get her back. And I guess, well I guess we will, she'll return to us… I know it. And it's not just because I can see things that others cannot, that I hold the power of foresight and can see into the future. I know Gwen; I know what she's going to do. She's going to fight until the end, and then when she's won, she's going to return to us.

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_**Yay another chapter of Never Let Me Go ok so I'm totally busy now that school is back in session from break, and I don't have to work anymore so more time for NLMG, I'll have the next one up in about a week ok? Don't worry; everything's going to be fine. The ending will be happy; I swear on my soul that it will. No death, just a little destruction. And moldyshorts, well he's so fun to be mean to…**_

_**Peace…….Love…………and Herb3 out….**_

_**Finished on January the 8**__**th**__** at 7:27 pm pacific. **_


	18. Don't Stop Believing

_**Hi Everybody! I'd like to thank Call me green eye's review, **_

We can only pray that ol' moldy voldy uses a magical condom. Though obviously that would be completely opposite the point of raping poor Gwen. still. MAGICAL CONDOM.

_**I found this the best review I've ever received**_

_**And to An Aspiring Author who has been a reviewer since, I've started I believe. And as well to the lovely Cheese Please, who added my story to her story alert list**_

**HGHPlove4ever15: Thanks for the review All will be ok in the end, I swear!**

_**Chapter 18: Don't stop Believing…**_

Fear was surging through my veins as I felt the discomfort of apparation disappear. We ended up in a dark room, with stone floors all around us, it seemed like it went on forever. He pushed me off and strode into the darkness haughtily, I shivered. An explosion of light came and I took in the place, there was nothing but an old looking chair up next to a hearth looking handsome in the lamp light. He was moving up and down at the far end of the room fiddling with an old book case. He pulled one of them and a door appeared out of nowhere on the left wall. I shivered again, if I didn't love those guys…. Oh heaven and hell this is going to be horrible. I tried to shrink away, as far away as possible. Just maybe I could escape! And live life as a muggle… that sounds sooo much fun!

"If you ever did try to escape I'd decapitate your little lover boy." Moldyshorts turned and glared at me.

"You're fucked up, did you ever know that? I'll never understand why you have to be so evil. And for one matter, since you don't believe in love, how do you know anything?" I spat angrily.

"Ahh, that is quite true. Love does not exist, I guess you could call him your little friend couldn't you?" he strode over to me.

"How in the world did you ever come to not believe in love? How is that humanly possible?"

"That is none of your concern. Now march up that staircase right now!" He spat with dark eyes.

"Why the fuck should I?"

"If you want your friends to wake up tomorrow morning, then do what I tell you."

"Oh what? I don't even get to rest? Plus once you've got what you've wanted you're going to kill me. Why should I even go about this? Its just going to end nastily, it's not like you'll actually keep your word and not hurt them." I seethed.

"Now! I will keep my word; they will not be harmed in anyway. And no, you won't be killed as it were; they will have a mother to care for them."

"If they're going to be evil like you then why do they even need love? Why? It makes not point Moldy, I'm sorry."

He slapped me quite hard after that comment.

"My name is The Dark Lord, you will address me as such." if looks could kill I'd be in a real coffin right now.

"Oh really, did you now that a 'Lord' Is a muggle term? Given to those who were higher up in status?" I spat.

"Do you want to be hit again?"

"Even if you did it really wouldn't matter. You could beat me into the ground and I still would stand up to you." I glared at him. His glare turned into a sadistic smile, and then he chuckled and ran his hand through his handsome dark locks.

"You are very much a Gryffindor, I hadn't expected that."

"You're so twisted." I shook my head disgustingly.

"So I am, but you are bold. Perhaps to bold, it just might get you killed one day."

"By who you? If so where's the sign up sheet?"

He laughed. "Very humorous. I will not be the one to kill you, our son? Maybe." his eyes were cold.

"Oooh fun! Then I just can't wait." I sneered.

"You would have been a good Slytherin."

"Fuck you. All of you bastards are cowards, fight behind others backs. Where are the morals and values in that?"

"So if we are." he nodded.

"You disgust me." I glowered.

"So if I do?" he glared

"How'd you even know who I was anyways? What do you do, stalk people when they're running away?"

"As it were a faithful member of my death eaters found out and alerted me."

"Oh yeah? And who might that be?"

"Rita Skeeter. She flew in through the window during your conversation with some Gryffindor." he sneered. Regulus isn't a Gryffindor? What the hell…

"I never saw her." I shrugged unconvinced.

"Oh, you wouldn't be able to; she was in an animagus form."

"Which is what a dung beetle?" I raised my eyebrows at him.

"As it were, she is a common beetle."

"That means that she's all into getting into peoples shit, figures."

"A faithful death eater, very. She's quite the charmer when she wants to be."

"Or the blackmailer." I snorted.

"Ahh, yes. The blackmailer…" he trailed off.

"Rita's a cow."

"Very well, now if you don't get up there now so help me Merlin you will not like me." I pointed to the stairs.

"I don't like you anyway."

"Now." He commanded.

"No."

"Now, right now or the small one of your friends dies."

"What happened to our little deal?"

"Just go, you're giving me a migraine."

"Well then I guess my ambition of the evening is fulfilled. As it were I like the stone; I'd prefer to stay here." I sat down on the cold stone.

"Get up there now! I am no longer going to fight will you."

"I told you I like the stone."

"Very well then, Imperio" he pointed his wand at me. I felt a fuzzy feeling spread through me. 'Go up the stairs' a voice hiss at me, I decided that the voice knew what was good, so I did. Once I was there I felt the fuzzy feeling leave fleetingly.

"Now, since you are up here. I shall tell you what will be yours and your duties." he locked the door.

"You bastard. An unforgivable?" I yelled.

"Yes. This closet here is yours, if is already filled with some gowns for you, I will have some extras made in the color of your choice. This desk is for your use as is the levorotary." I he pointed to a door. "The bed is for our use, as is the rest of the manor." he strode back to me.

I raised my eyebrows. "So then I'm not going to be caged up here like an animal?" I spat.

"No, but don't try to escape. I am the only one that can do magic strong enough for the detectors to let me pass. Your normal charms, and spells will work, you just can't leave. The floo is not connected to the network so that won't be of use either. And if you do not have the dark mark you cannot leave the grounds without some one who does, and face it, nobody will help you."

"Whatever." I shook my head.

"Yes indeed. Whatever. Now if you'd kindly remove your clothes, we have some business to attend to."

"Like I'd do that for you willingly." I walked over to the other side of the room.

"I could use the imperious curse again if you'd like." He said angrily.

"Screw you." I spat.

"Very well, if I have to force you." he glared. It was then that a sudden realization came over me, if I went willingly, I would not honour the curse…

"Alright." I forced myself to believe it. If I went willingly, then I just might find a loophole in the prophecy.

"Good Choice" He strode over to me.

"Sure." I closed my eyes tightly trying to believe it thoroughly.

His arms were snaked around my waist and his lips on my ear. "Even if you went willingly, you will still become pregnant."

"Sure." I didn't care, I still must believe it.

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The first few weeks passed slowly, painfully slow. I began to fall into a depression as the days wore on. I had found the letter Sirius had sent to me, I kept it in my pocket at all times. During the first two weeks after that night I was left alone in our chambers, thankfully. But then at the end of them he came with a healer to determine if I was in fact pregnant, I wasn't which could only mean one thing, I wouldn't be left alone that night as I could on hope. As it turns out I wasn't. Months went on in that fashion, he would only visit me every two weeks, just after the healer told him that I wasn't pregnant. I could have ventured around the manor as he often told me to do, but I didn't want to. All I wanted was death, cleanness, happiness… All of the things I'd never be able to come by. Christmas came dully that year; I hid in my room by the fire. That night, Christmas night was the end of the two weeks and of course the healer came and confirmed me not pregnant, I was beginning to think the prophecy wasn't working.

Spring came and with that life just out in the gardens. So early on morning just after the first of April, I snuck out into to gardens to take in all the beauty life had to offer me outside of that room which had become dull. I began to plant wild flowers from china that he'd imported for my use, always told me that if I was depressed and pregnant our child wouldn't be healthy. So I planted, and planted and planted. And soon my, our garden was bursting with life. May came with sunshine sweeping through the gardens lighting up the newly born flowers I'd planted. I spent my days there, wallowing in the sunshine of may, asquint in the beauty of my flowers. And with a wave summer came, it had been seven months since I'd last seen Sirius, it was really hard at first but after that, after the first few months I'd realized that he'd most likely moved on. It hurt so much at first, I loved him, and I missed him so terribly.

It was in the last bit of June that good old Moldy had his recruitment party for the new death eaters, I was forced to come. I decided that hey, I was going to be miserable, so why not be happy and miserable. It just so happened that the party fell on the last day of the two weeks, and it just so happened that I wasn't pregnant again. As normal it put him into a raging anger, he killed two of his mess up servants that day. I chose to wear a scarlet gown that with my hair, made me resemble the Gryffindor color's quite a lot. I wore gold jewellery and gold heeled shoes. I think It irked him. I moped around the party casually, eating the little cheese sandwiches placed around by the house elves. It was during the middle that Moldyshorts pulled me out of the room and confronted me.

"As you know, you have failed yet again to become pregnant. And I wondered just why, until I found out." he grabbed me roughly and shoved me into a room off the side of the hall."

"I'm sorry." I mumbled from the floor.

"Ahh, well it shouldn't matter now." he pulled me up like a rag doll.

"Cant it wait until later?" I sighed.

"No." he rammed me against the wall.

"Please…"

"Quit the chatter." he pulled my dress.

"I don't want to…"

"Well that's just too bad now isn't it? He sneered.

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I wondered back into the hall of death eaters as I was told, all disgruntled. I sighed and walked back to the little cheese sandwiches with a grimace on my face. I began to sit and watch them, they all looked happy, becoming somebody that was going to kill innocent people for fun. People that were going to torture for fun, to harm for fun… I hated them all. Malfoy wandered past me with a glower followed by his wife Narsissa Black, a Slytherin that had left Hogwarts when I had. Skeeter came by with a smile letting me know that she was still with Sirius and how good he was to sleep with, taunting me that I had some old evil guy. Well she said it more convincingly. It was then that Moldyshorts had a big announcement to make and pulled me from my perch near the cheese sandwiches to stand before the group. It was then that I seen a familiar face, a face I didn't want at all to see there.

"Faithful servants." he boomed at them all.

"We will shortly be gathering for the dark mark branding. I ask you all to finish your food and wine and dances." he bowed away.

"Now we shall dance. It is right as host and hostess to dance is it not?" he pulled my forcibly to the dance floor.

"Sure." we began waltzing to the beat.

"May I interrupt?" came a familiar voice, one I didn't want to hear.

"Of course, a bit of a reunion I guess? Older brothers ex girlfriend with older brother's younger brother about to become a death eater. What a lovely family reunion." he left sneering at people.

"Hello Gwen." Regulus removed his mask.

"Why are you here? I thought you didn't believe in this cause?" we began dancing.

"I don't. We're here to spring you. Are you pregnant?" he spun me around.

"No, I'm not."

"Good." he spun me around again.

"Now Sirius is going to take over while I get branded ok, your going to hide in the room off the hall. I'll be there just after ok" he pushed me off into somebody else that had red hair. Then he followed the rest of the people off to where they'd be branded.

"This way Gwen" said a deep voice. He pulled me into the crowd and then shoved me into the room where just earlier…

"Who are you?" I asked feebly.

"It's me Gwen" he tapped his head and his red hair turned into a familiar black one.

"Sirius? What are you doing here, you could be killed." I looked up at him dully.

"A price I'm willing to take." he kissed me passionately.

"Sirius…"

"No, you're leaving. Mad eye and the rest of the order are only meters away from the barricades." he kissed me again.

"Ok." I sighed and fell into his embrace.

"Are you… err…?"

"No Sirius, I'm not pregnant." I sighed into his robes.

"Good. Are you ok? Did he hurt you? I'll kill him…"

"No, I'm fine. Nothing I couldn't handle." I sighed.

"What Gwen, what did that bastard do?" he pulled me away so that he could look me in the eye.

"He… It doesn't matter." I looked down at the ground.

"Gwen, what is It.?"

"Nothing, I'm just glad that I'm leaving." I looked up and smiled as the door flew open to Regulus standing there panting.

"Let's go, now! Quick, put the charm back on Sirius, we've got to go" he pulled me out of the room and began to push me towards the door. We made it out of the door and to the barrier where we pushed through. A loud siren screeched across the garden, but we pressed on, we didn't look back. Once we were out of the lands Regulus grabbed me and disaparated, followed by Sirius. We landed in an old room filled with familiar faces, I took them all in, and only one of them was missing.

Lily came at me with a huge grin on her face; tears were huddled in her green eyes. We hugged tightly for quite a few minutes before she let me go to Remus who looked so old. He pulled me into a hug and cried on my shoulder, I hugged him hard, I'd missed him more then Sirius at times. Then James hugged me tightly and pulled back, I looked around the room for Phoebe, but I couldn't find her, I turned to Lily with wide eyes.

"Where's Phoebs?" I asked with fear.

"She didn't make it through the last battle, Malfoy got her just before you-know-who took you." she sighed.

"Huh?"

"Remus?" I turned to him. He looked like hell at Lily's words.

"Yeah?" He looked up at me.

"I'm sorry." I walked over to him and hugged him tightly. "I'm sure she's happy where ever she is." tears slid down my eyes.

"Yeah" He patted me on the back.

"Let's go home." Sirius smiled at us.

"Where's that?" I raised my eyebrow.

"Godric's Hollow" James smiled.

"He's going to come for me."

"Not with all of the protection charms we've got up." Remus grinned.

"Where's Peter?"

"Had some family gig planned." James shrugged his shoulders.

"Shall we?" Sirius smiled around the group.

"Yep" Remus nodded and we all disaparated.

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We got home safely due to the Fidelius Charm, after all, Remus was the secret keeper, and he would never tell anyone. Gwen looks like hell washed over, all pale and pasty, it looks like she hasn't seen real sunlight for months on end. Her happy atmosphere you would normally feel when in her presence was missing, she looked extremely depressed. Her hair was dull, she didn't put her curls in, and it lay dead falling down her back. Sirius looked happy though, he finally gotten her back. He was sprouting a large smile, Remus even looked happier then I'd seen him in months. James went to go get some firewhisky. Regulus was peering down at his forearm, he knew that once they figured out that he helped Gwen escape that they'd come looking for him. But I really don't think he cares about that, he's happy Gwen's back. We were all sitting in the drawing room smiling, minus Gwen who just looked like crying. I sat down next to her and pulled her into my arms. She gave me a ghost of smile and hugged me. She felt my tummy and looked up at me. She hadn't noticed before that I was pregnant.

"You're going to have a baby?" I asked excitedly.

"Due at the end of July." I smiled down at her.

"Have you and James gotten married yet?" she asked.

"No, we were waiting for you. The date is set for three weeks from now." I smiled.

"Aww, you didn't have too." she smiled ruefully at me.

"But we did"

"Aww you guys…" she laughed.

"So how are you?" I questioned.

"Fine, I have been"

"You don't look it" Remus said to her.

"I'm sure, I've been kind of sad." she shrugged.

"Did he hurt you?" Regulus asked her with a heavy look in his eyes.

"Not really. I was kind of willing, that's how I figured out how to not honour the prophecy. I required me to be forced into it, and I wouldn't let him force me until…" she broke off roughly.

"What?" Sirius crossed to her and sat down in front of her.

"Today, just after the party started. He forced me too…" she looked at the ground.

"Don't worry Gwen, if you are, well then we'll take care of it" I hugged her.

"I know." she sighed just as James came in the room carrying an arm full of glasses and a bottle of Firewhisky.

"Shall we toast? Oh and Lil's I got you some pumpkin juice" he sat the firewhisky and glasses down and pulled out a flask of Pumpkin Juice.

"Thanks love" I got up and kissed him.

"No problem" He smiled sheepishly.

We spent the evening talking together, like we used to when we were all back at Hogwarts. We told Gwen about how we all got the house together, to be close to one another. How life had gone since she'd been gone, since she went with you-know-who. It was fun, then Gwen and I went up to the spare bedroom and camped out having a good old girl thing. We got up the next morning to Breakfast prepared by Sirius, who was in such a good mood that it was radiating off of him. We spent the following day in a similar manner, sharing each others company.

The next week that followed was all in all the best week I could remember since Hogwarts. James and I went back to work, as did Sirius. Remus took the week off to stay with her, I think that just having her back sort of made up for the loss of Phoebe. I mean we all lost them on the same night, and Remus, he took it extremely bad. He was one, in love with Phoebe to the point where they were most likely going to get married, and two; very close to Gwen.

The second week was better, Gwen looked healthier and happier. She and Sirius had been cuddling it up in their room a lot, one could only guess what they were doing. Regulus thought it was a good idea to find out if she was pregnant or not, she wanted to go to someone she could really trust, so she went to Madame Pomphrey, the new Medi-witch at Hogwarts that Professor McGonagall swore was up to it. It turned out that she was, she took badly to it. She spent the whole night locked away up in her and Sirius's room, she wouldn't even let him in. She had made arrangements for it to be terminated, something I was sure she never really wanted to do. James, Sirius and I all had to work on the day she was planned to go, it was out last day of work before the wedding, Remus took her there.

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I awoke on that Tuesday morning next to Sirius's sleeping form, he looked so peaceful and happy, I was glad to be here with him once again. I shook him slightly and smiled when his eyes opened, they were so beautiful, just as I'd remembered, just as they appeared months ago, perhaps back when we were back at Hogwarts. He smiled at me lovingly and pulled me into a hug which he wouldn't let me out of for what it seemed like twenty minutes. I knew he didn't want to let me go, even though it was the safety of Hogwarts, he didn't want to let me go. When he finally let me go I sat up and crossed the room to the wardrobe from which I pulled my under garments and pulled them on. Then I pulled a pair of jeans and a plain blue T- shirt, one of his. He was watching my movements from back at our bed, I turned and smiled at him, he was really something wasn't he?

"Did you have a nice show?" I rolled my eyes.

"Oh the best." he stood up and walked over to me wrapping his arms protectively around my waist.

"I'm sure" I added sarcastically.

"You're becoming more and more yourself everyday." he put his head in my hair that had been returned to its normal curled form.

"I really missed you. Every time I would imagine you, it helped me a little I think." I could hear his heart beating.

"Well then I'm glad. I missed you too, I moped for months after you'd gone. Moody told me if I didn't get my act together that he'd end up firing me then hiring me again to kick my arse" he laughed.

"Good for Moody then." I smiled at the mental image.

"I hope you'll be fine today. I will stop by after work is over and sneak you in some of that muggle flat bread with sauce that you like" he pulled back so that he could look into my eyes.

"Oh Pizza?" I asked with a smile.

"Yeah, that stuff. You could use some good food anyway"

"Alright. You'd better get dressed before Remus comes in, he might get a show that he'll never forget. It'll be burned into his memory." I smirked.

"Ahh, now that's the stuff I want to hear, plus you know my bum's cute. It'll make Remus want to be gay" he laughed.

"Sure, I'm sure he would find it painful" I shook my head.

"Are you saying my bum's hideous?" he was mock appalled.

"No, _I_ think your bum is rather cute. Remus on the other hand…" I broke off, it was at that exact moment that Remus did see fitting to walk blindly into the room with out knocking.

"Don't you ever put clothes on Padfoot?" Remus turned and shielded his eyes.

"Sometimes." he wiggled his eyebrow at me.

"I'll see you tonight ok?" I asked.

"You bet. I'll be there with bells clamped to my feet." he leaned forward and pecked me on the cheek.

"See you love" I walked over to where Remus was standing with his eyes covered.

"Can we leave now?" he asked.

"Yes Remus, we can" I walked out of the door to be followed by him.

"Good. Now are you going to be ok there by yourself today? I have to go back to work or I'll loose my job" we began walking down to the fireplace.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I'll chat it up with Minerva, I haven't seen her yet since I've been back. If you don't count the letters" we reached the fireplace.

"Alright. Shall we" he picked up a pinch of floo powder.

"Oh, we shall" I grabbed a pinch myself.

"Would you like to do the honours?" he grinned sheepishly.

"Oh wouldn't I?" I threw the green powder into the flames and shouted my destination which of course was Hogwarts.

I arrived in Minerva's office, one I'd become very familiar with. I was all of a sudden crushed into a tight hug by Minerva who had changed very little since I'd last seen her.

"Gwen, how are you?" she pulled back to look at me.

"Well as I'm impregnated with the seed of a sadistic evil jack ass, I'm just fine" I smiled.

"Good" She smiled at me as Remus came through the fireplace.

"Remus, how are you?" she asked him pleasantly.

"Better" He smiled.

"Alright, let's go. Poppy is waiting happily for you, as is Severus with the Potions." she nodded to the door.

"Severus? As in Snape?" I asked confused. Why in the hell was a death eater here? Regulus was the only one I really trusted.

"Yes, he is our Potions master" she nodded.

"And he's going to help?"

"Dumbledore assured me that he is in fact a good person. He's a member of the order." she pulled open the door.

"Ok, if you say so" I smiled happily and we made our way to the hospital wing.

**Ok, so that was very crammed. But don't worry now comes the good stuff like Severus becoming good, and falling in love and Moldy's defeat. don't worry the horcruxes will be there, and destroyed by our one and only Regulus who alone figures it out. Harry's on his way, along with the wedding. I'd like to say peace and love, as always and that I hope you'll stay tuned for more.**

**Yours truly. Herb3 Heather Rose Black.**


	19. We close our eyes

_**It pains me much to do this….**_

_**Here is chapter nineteen of Never let me go. The last and final chapter…..**_

_**Thanks for all of the support through out this story, all of the beautiful reviewers…. **_

_**Here you are my fine friends…. The end.**_

_**Chapter 19: We close our eyes………**_

He smiled down at her with tears in his sapphire blue eyes.

"The Healers." He said "They say your going to be just fine." He bowed his head.

She smiled warmly up at him with his tears stained on her cheeks. Her smile was golden, and I knew that I was going to miss it, I was going to miss that smile of hers for the rest of my life.

"Sirius, you were always a horrible liar."

He managed to bark a ghost like laugh and smile again at her.

"Gwen, what ever am I going to do with out you?" he asked between breaking out into sobs again.

"Oh Sirius, you'll be fine. Your going to be just fine love." She reached her hand up and set it upon his cheek.

"No. Gwen don't you see, I love you too much to loose you. Not now, not ever."

"I'll always be with you love. No matter what happens, I'll be with you." she smiled at him and closed her eyes.

"Gwen, I love you. What will Andy do with out a mother to be there for her?"

She opened her eyes tiredly. "Sirius, I love you too. But I need you to live, go on with your life and take care of her for me."

"I will." He leaned forward and captured her lips in his. He pulled away and grabbed her hand. She smiled at Remus, who had a very hard look on his face. Nobody could expect to much of him, after all he'd just lost phoebe six months ago. Then she smiled at James, Harry and I. I started to cry again, James just put his arms around me and held me. She gave a ghost of a smile to Peter who was looking all sad and mushy eyed in the corner. Then with a grace I'd never known that she'd had, she smiled at little Andie who was still perched on Remus's knee. She gave Sirius one more last passionate smile and gently, as if fate deemed her to, she closed her eyes with a smile plastered upon her beautiful face.

**And so my friends this is the end, the end of the road. Because we've come, to the end of the road, still I cant let you go. Its unnatural, you belong to me, I belong to you. I know you love me, you just don't realize. You've never been there before, maybe its your first time… and maybe I'll forgive you…**

……………………………**sighs**

……………………………**.sighs**

………**.sighs**

…………………**..end of the road**

…………**.still cant let you go…..**

…………………**..unnatural**

………………**..**

**Love………..**

**Ok….**

**I'm only joking, this was what was meant to be the ending though, but I couldn't go through with it….**

**Here is chapter 19:)**

**I OWN NOTHING OF HARRY POTTER! JUST MY STORY LINE AND GWEN, ROSALIE AND STUFFS. JK IS THE MASTER, EVIL IN MY OPINION. SO HERE IS MY DISCLAIMER….**

**Thanks to all of the wonderful reviews on the last chapter, they were o so wicked! Here is Chapter 19 which will have a whole better feeling to it…**

**This chapter is inspired by a song by Oingo Boingo, covered by Allister called, We close our eyes. It was the main theme song for the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer if you want to hear the song just pm me and we'll figure out how to get it to you**

**On ward to……………………………**

Chapter Nineteen: We Close Our Eyes…

I followed Minerva down the familiar hallways of Hogwarts to the infirmary. When we arrived there the new Nurse came strolling up to me with sympathetic eyes. She ushered me to a near by bed that was prepared for my use. I smiled and sat down as I was told.

"How are you feeling dear? Tired? Depressed?" Poppy was bustling about me trying to feed me all of these illicit looking potions.

"Nope, I feel just fine. Anxious if anything, I'm dying to get this demon seed out of me" I smiled.

"It won't be long until Severus arrives" Minerva smiled candidly.

"Snape? Isn't he one of Voldemort's minions?" I asked casually.

"As it were Ackles, I am" Snape was leaning against the door frame.

"Wicked. So I've got ten galleons saying that you're going to run off to him?" I smirked wickedly.

"Not as it were. I'm going to help you." he walked in and stood in front of me.

"Well, I best be going now. Albus and I have some arrangements to make" Minerva smiled and left the wing.

"Severus dear, do you have the potion?" Poppy smiled bashfully at Snape who had the same sour look he's always had upon his face.

"Yes Poppy, I do indeed have the potion" he smiled respectfully at her.

"Very well, I assume you know what to do? I must go and attend to some paper work" she smiled and swept off to her office.

"Very well Ackles, this potion will be painful" he handed me a corked flagon.

"Yippers!" I pulled the cork out.

"However, there are some things you might need to know before you do take that" he noted severely.

"Side effects?" I raised me eyebrow.

"Yes. It is possible that you may never have children after this, you could grow ill, you could still be pregnant after it and you may be not." he nodded his head.

"So, in simple, I may not have children in the future?" I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Yes, that is the leading side effect. As most women who take this potion are in dire need to dispose of the child they have inside of them, most of them have reported never being able to conceive a child again."

"Hmm. Well I'll take my chances, can't have a little demonic kid running around and killing people now can we?" I smiled.

"If you are sure?" he nodded.

"Oh, I am." I went to swallow the flagon once again.

"Wait just one moment though Ackles, this will be painful. I will need to restrain you."

"Alright." I sighed.

"I will need you to drink the potion quickly before laying down; it will take a few seconds to take effect. I will hold you down, is that alright?" he rolled his sleeves up.

"Sure" I nodded before swallowing the thick blue substance that tasted like toast. I lay back down quickly upon the bed before I felt the most horrible pain I'd ever felt in my life. I screamed.

"Ackles, just embrace the pain. The more you try to fight it, the harder it's going to be." Snape said in my ear as I struggled against him.

"But…." I screamed again. That's how it went for what seemed like forever, my crying, or screaming, or punching Snape in the head. It was awful, horridly awful. But it did subside, after a few hours.

"Is is going away yet?" Snape asked impatiently.

"Yes." I gasped.

"It will be like this for a few days." Snape sighed.

"How many?" I asked through intervals of pain.

"Three. I can go and retrieve somebody if you would prefer?" he unrolled his sleeves over his forearms where I caught sight of the dark mark gleaming proudly on his pale white skin.

"That will be alright, I think I can make it." I managed a small smile at him; he really wasn't that bad of a guy. It was no wonder Lily was his friend, once you got past the first glance, you got to see a truly different man.

"If you are sure. Is there anything I can get you?" he asked tentatively.

"You can talk to me" I smiled.

"About what Ackles?" he sat down in a chair at the foot of my bed.

"Well, about how you're all loyal to good ole dumbly instead of old moldy?" I tried to ease myself up. He however seen this and came to help me adjust myself so that I could sit up.

"Thanks" I mumbled.

"Your welcome Ackles." he moved back to his chair.

"So?"

"Roughly the same reasons as Regulus" he grimaced.

"Love?" I raised my eyebrows

"Yes" he nodded.

"Who?" I shifted.

"Lily." he looked me strait in the eyes.

"I guess I knew that. Has that changed?"

"Not even a little bit Ackles, not even a little bit." he shook his head.

"I'm sorry Severus; you know that she is too don't you?"

"I do, but I can't help it."

"Maybe if you gave in you could let it go" I smiled.

"Give in? You mean to stop hating Potter?" he sounded disgusted.

"Exactly, you can't go living your whole life hating somebody can you?"

"That's…."

"Dear, life doesn't revolve around hatred, sometimes you have to move on. Or else darkness will consume your soul even more than it already has."

"You might be right." he mumbled.

"See, now there is an improvement." I smiled brightly.

"How is she?" he looked up at me slowly.

"Well, she's very well. Expecting next month in fact" his eyes were frozen to mine, he looked as if he was finally beginning to realize.

"Tell her congratulations." he gave me a brief sorrowful smile.

"Love, you can. And you will." I laughed gleefully.

"How will I be doing that?" he raised his eyebrow.

"Because you my dear will be my date for her wedding."

"She's getting married?" he looked so sad…

"In four days as a matter of fact. But hey, we can't live our lives in sadness now can we?" I smiled at him once again.

"Are you not going with Black?" he spat the name out violently, and I did understand why.

"Well, yes and no. He will understand, or I shall deprive him. Don't worry; he's not going to kick up a fight. Neither will James as it were, they'll be on their good behaviour.

"Are you sure?" he asked quietly.

"Oh yeah, quite"

"Well, I'm going to let you sleep ok. That potion must be horrible on your system"

"Sleep does sound good right now, but so does pizza" I mumbled thoughtfully.

"Pizza? Lily got you addicted?" he laughed.

"Yeah, she did. Its sooo bloody good, makes me want to kill for it." I cracked a smile.

"I prefer the cheese, I'm not a partial fan to pepperoni" he smiled.

"She got you too?"

"Oh no, it was I that got her addicted to pizza." he bowed his head and ducked out of the wing.

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Three days in the Hogwarts hospital wing wasn't all that bad, I was released the day of lily's wedding, I was so excited. The day before Sirius brought me my maid of honour dress, and a cheese pizza. So on the morning of the wedding I dressed in the gown and went to poppy to check out. She took a few diagnostics, my blood pressure, ect and gave me the good news, I was free to go. Snape was waiting for me in the entrance hall, all jittery looking. I walked up to him and laughed, he looked like he'd spent a total of three minutes getting ready, I sighed and shook my head.

"Severus? Dear how long did you take to get ready?" I shook my head.

"Truthfully about five minutes." he said monotone like.

"Hmmn well we have time, where are you quarters?" I asked.

"My sleeping quarters?"

"Yes, we're going to get you all fixed up." I smiled.

"This way." he lead me down flights of stairs off to the left.

After about fifteen minutes, many beauty spells and some effort, even Severus Snape could look handsome. I managed to get him into some blue dress robes roughly stuffed at the bottom of his wardrobe; his hair to look un-greaseified; and a smile on his face via a chocolate frog.

"Thanks Ackles." he nodded.

"Welcome, now love, lets go to a wedding…"

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"Today we are gathered here to join these two hands in matrimony." an old wizened wizard spoke in front of them, it was beautiful really. "If anyone has any objections, they should say them now or forever so hold their peace.." he paused. I looked over at Snape, he was watching solemnly, I knew this was hard for him. "Very well, Miss Lily please repeat after me. I Lily Elizabeth Evans, take you James Theodore Potter as my husband whom I shall cherish even in times of death."

"I Lily Elizabeth Evans, take you James Theodore Potter as my husband whom I shall cherish even in times of death." she smiled at him radiantly.

"And now James, please repeat after me… I James Theodore Potter take you, Lily Elizabeth Evans as my wife whom I shall cherish even in times of death."

"I James Theodore Potter take you, Lily Elizabeth Evans as my wife whom I shall cherish even in times of death." he beamed.

"I now declare that your two souls are bonded." he tapped his wand on each of their hearts and gold sparks flew about them. "You man now kiss your bride." and so James did.

"James and Lily Potter my friends." he spoke.

We all clapped and smiled, it was very sweet. He grabbed her hands and pulled her down the isle, Sirius and Gwen followed, I couldn't help but think of Phoebe… we could have had that, we could have been together for always, if it weren't for Malfoy. I walked into where they all were standing, Snape popped up on Gwen's side smiling kind of contently, Sirius looked ready to kill if Gwen wasn't there. She just gave him the, fight and die look.

"Congrats guys." I smiled at Lily and James, they both looked elated.

"Thanks Remus." she smiled while walking over and hugging me.

"I'm just so happy for you."

"Aww, Remus were happy for you too." she looked on the verge of tears.

"So cads, lets get the partying, its not every day your best mate marries the girl he's had the hots for since the age of twelve." Sirius put his arms around James and Lily's shoulders.

"Twelve James?" Lily looked slightly shocked.

"No, not at all." he started blushing.

"Sure." I rolled my eyes. "Hey Sirius, remember the first time he dreamed of her. He was talking about the dream all week long." I snickered.

"Or the time he carved her name into his forearm, he said he was a follower of the Lily power, the greatest empress in history." Sirius laughed.

"Hey Padfoot, come over here so I can sew your mouth shut." James was red.

"Eh, no prongs, sorry. Remus, Snape and I have a thing planned. Shall we?" he nodded to me and Snape who just looked slightly scared.

"Yup." I pulled Snape with me and followed him.

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I was walking down the drive to my cousins house, he had sent me a letter a few months back, consoling me of the loss of my parents, I decided to visit. The house in front of me was rather large, I'd compare it to a mansion really. It was a deep red, crimson it seemed. It had gold pillars and a large Lion embedded on the door knocker. The door itself was a creamy white, with stained glass windows. I pulled the knocker and let it fall, then I stepped back and waited. A woman answered the door, she had long flowing golden hair that curled. It fell to about mid back, she smiled.

"Hello, may I help you?" she was extraordinarily beautiful.

"Hello, I'm here to see Remus?" I felt awkward.

"Really, that's neat. He's actually at work at the moment, he gets off at five. Would you like to come in and wait as that's only a bit away?" she opened the door so that I could come in.

"Um sure." I looked down and walked into the home.

"So what's your name and why are you here for old Rem?" she led me to the drawing room.

"Well my name is Rosalie, and I'm his cousin." I sat down on the sofa.

"Really. that's so sweet." she smiled. "My name is Gwen, I'm Remus's friend." she put her had out to shake mine.

"Its nice to meet you." I blushed.

"Oh no, its nice to meet you. Remus will be thrilled I'm sure, it'll give him something more to be happy about considering…" she fell off.

"Considering?" I was confused.

"Well our friend Phoebe, he was in love with her, was killed last fall. He never was the same after I guess. I really don't know, I've only been back for a two months or so now." she shrugged.

"Oh that's sad… the poor dear after everything he's had to live through… the one person he'd fallen in love with…" I felt sad, it truly was sad that poor Remus has had to live with this all.

"He's looking better I've been told, I guess losing Phoebs was hard…"

"Of course."

"Would you like some tea?" she asked.

"That would be lovely." I smiled.

She got up and made to leave the room when the door bell rang.

"I should get that." she walked out into the hall. It was a minute or so later when she walked back in with a handsome looking man. He was tall with long silky black hair, he had pretty brown eyes and pasty skin. He looked up at me softly, then he blinked a couple times. He sure was handsome, or so that's what my inner thoughts were…

"Rosalie, this is Severus Snape. Severus this is Remus's cousin Rosaline. You two chat it up while I get the tea." she smiled mysteriously walking away.

"Hello." I smiled shyly.

"Hello." he replied.

"How are you today?" I asked trying to spark up a conversation.

"I'm well. I had a bad bout of the flu this morning though." he sighed sitting down in the chair to the right where Gwen had been sitting. "How are you?"

"Oh I'm just well today. I came to see Remus, I haven't seen him in so long." I smiled.

"So your Lupin's cousin? that's pretty cool, he never talks about family, well he most likely wouldn't to me and all so I really cant base that on anything." he shrugged.

"Remus is a good person, when we were children our mothers would shove us together, we grew up together." I smiled.

The door bell rang.

"I'll get that." he gave me a ghost of a smile and left to get the door.

I was so sure he didn't like me, not in the sense of relationship and all, that's not what I was thinking, I just think he thinks that I'm some small meek person. He walked back into the room with a handsome youth in his stead. The young man was very handsome, more charming.

"Hello, my name is Regulus" he extended his hand.

"Rosalie, its nice to meet you." I smiled.

"Its wonderful to meet you too." we shook hands. "Sev' where might the ever lovely Gwen be?" he smirked.

"Kitchen." he said rather dully.

"Ahh, most wonderful." he nodded to me and skipped from the room.

"Well that was interesting." I smiled.

"He's an interesting young man." he nodded. "Not that he's too much younger than ourselves correct?"

"Oh, true. I'm seventeen, just left Hogwarts."

"Nineteen, left over a year ago. I wish I could picture your face, I cant place it…"

"I was in Hufflepuff, I was never at school much due to the fact that I get ill all of the time. It was more like a home-school for me." I shrugged.

"Ill? Of what?" he asked.

"I've got a weak system, not even magic can fix it." I pushed my head to the side.

"Not any of the standard medical potions?" he asked astounded.

"No, nothing will." I smiled.

"Tea is here!" Gwen came in with a tray laden with food.

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"Earl Grey?" Severus asked hopefully.

"Only for you Severus." I replied setting down the tray on the table.

"You're a wondrous woman Gwen." he smiled.

"Sure.." I grinned at him while rolling her eyes.

"What's the other pot?" Rosalie asked sweetly. She looked so much like Remus it wasn't even funny.

"Raspberry." I replied. "I just had this mad impulse to make raspberry."

"Ooh that sounds delicious." she smiled. She sure did smile a lot.

"It sure does right now." they both looked so bloody cute together, I knew that this was going to be my secret ambition, get those two together…

"Thank you Gwen." Severus poured himself a cup of his favourite earl grey.

"Gwen?" Regulus's voice came from the door way. And with that a truly horrid smell.

"Reg what is that horrible smell?" I asked disgusted, my stomach was turning.

"Blueberry pancakes?" he asked confused.

"The ones I made this morning?" I asked biting the contents of my stomach back.

"Yeah.." he raised eyebrow. It was then that I knew that I'd need to bolt to the bathroom. And so that's what I did. I ran bolting out of the room to the bathroom where I ralphed.

After I'd finished I felt an arm around my shoulders.

"Gwen are you ok?" it was Reg.

"Yeah." I sighed.

"Have you been sick?" he rubbed them.

"No, this is the first sign." I grimaced.

"Aww, come on then. Lets get you cleaned up and in bed ok?"

"I don't feel that bad though. I'm just felt sick for that one moment."

"Is this the first time?" Reg asked me with his head cocked to the side.

"Yeah… I mean no, it happened yesterday when Remus brought me some chocolate for Honeydukes home. I was all excited, ripped the package open only to feel my stomach churning, I got sick." I sat back.

"Didn't you just make those today though Gwen?"

"Yeah, this morning. Seeing as I haven't a job, as Sirius says I need my rest." I rolled my eyes. "I get up and make breakfast. I had eaten at least seven of those this morning, it makes no sense." I shook my head.

"Hmmn…" he trailed.

"Come on." I stood up, vanishing the contents of the toilet. "Lets go have some tea, I feel the crave for Raspberry coming on yet again."

"Gwen, I think you might be pregnant." he spoke softly.

"Pfft, come on Reg. I just got rid of the demon seed remember." I rolled my eyes. That boy is so strange…

"Alright." he stated. " I must confess, I had an ultimatum to coming over and seeing you.."

"Really? And that is?"

"Do you remember Aimee Edwards?" he cocked his head to the side.

"Are you dating her?" I grinned.

"Yes. Have been for a while now, in secret."

"And?"

"Can she come and stay with you guys, I just want her safe is all…"

"Of course, go and get her."

"Alright. And Gwen?"

"Yes?"

"Please listen to me, I really do think that your pregnant. Maybe not the demon seed, as you like to call it, but with maybe Sirius…" he left the room.

I walked back into the drawing room with that on my mind, I mean, could I be? It is certainly possible…

"Are you ok?" Severus was standing up looking at me.

"Yeah, just a bit under the weather.." I grinned. "Tea?"

"I poured you a cup." Rosalie smiled at me.

"Thanks love."

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	20. How far we've come

Lol! Here is chapter 20 I hope you enjoy this as much as I will enjoy writing it. So here are few uhh… clues…J

Sorry for mistakes, some people can't give a girl a break, even though her spell check sucks

1... Whatever could Raspberry possibly mean…?

2... Aimee Edwards? Who might she be…

3... Reg's smirkish attitude?

Thanks to my lovely reviewers….

**Call me green eyes… Well hopefully this isn't **

**And to the ever soo lovely miss call me green eyes… I will add a brief special sneak peak into the next chapter! Yeahya!**

Ok so on to….

_Chapter 20: _

_How far we've come…_

_**Author: Herb3**_

_**.line break.**_

The day was near the midst of July, life was taking a boring low in the life of one Aimee Edwards. The fact that it was pouring down raining didn't help life much, seeing that it was the middle of July, when it should be hot and sunny. But what could a girl ask for eh? Certainly if the people who listened to her or anyone else in the world couldn't give her sunny days and warm nights where you needed to have the swamp cooler on just to stay comfortable, then what? It was indeed the first time she ever had to go to sleep in the middle of July with a sweater and the heater on.

School had ended only a month ago, yet it seemed a lifetime away. She managed to get a job at a local muggle bookstore as a clerk, being with the muggles never did mind her, seeing as she was muggle born. Though the little bit of time between now and when school ended was only a flash, to her it seemed like months ago. She had to rent a flat once she found a job as her parents unceremoniously kicked her out due to her abnormality, broke her heart it did, yet so did Reg too…

Reg, if she'd only known how much deception he'd fed her… He was supposed to be her boyfriend, her lover… She loved him with all of her heart, was it too much to ask for his in return? He promised her a life with happiness, filled with love and laughter… He'd promised her the world. Though she knew what became of him, like she feared, he'd become a death eater. He'd not sent her one letter, not even to tell her that it was over… And with each passing day, owl post, and dreams again… it broke her heart again. It was a rinse and repeat cycle.

Though with her pain she knew there was an escape. People often told her that those who persevered would get the gold in the end; they just had to take the journey. It didn't make sense to her anymore; life didn't make sense to her anymore. The Wizarding and Muggle world were on the brinks of war, war that would claim many lives in its process… She was of course scared of reading the prophet each day, with more bad news, more death… They were claiming muggle borns; the death eaters were, ironic huh? But she knew that if she let the crisps fall where they may, everything would turn out the way it was supposed to, that was fate.

Currently you could find Aimee curled up on her sofa, warm blanket wrapped tightly around her beside the hearth with a romance novel in hand. She had just come home from her job at the book shop and decided that maybe taking some time to read wasn't such a bad thing was it? The night wore on, it got darker and the storm got heavier. It started to leak past 22:00 (10:00 pm) when she grew very tired, took her book mark, placed it firmly in her book and took off to take her nightly shower. By the time she'd finished it was nearly the next hour. She pulled on her fluffy blue towel and padded towards her room. Upon entry she found a handsome young raven haired youth setting upon her bed. He stared into her eyes, and almost instantly she was reminded why she fell in love with Reg…

"Aim's, I've missed you so much" he hopped off of the bed, and even though she was clad in a towel, pulled her into a bone crushingly warm hug.

"What are you here for Regulus? Did your master send you here to do the dirty deed?" she pulled away from him bitterly.

"What are you on about?" He looked at her confused and hurt at the same time.

"Come here to finish me off then? Get another mud blood off of your guy's hands?" she moved to her wardrobe pulling out night clothes.

Dumfounded her asked, "Aimee, I could never hurt you. Have you forgotten that I love you?"

"Yet you joined the people that don't want us together? Reg, that doesn't make any sense. You haven't owled me once! I was so worried that something had happened to you, then I find out that your one of them?" she threw her clothes on her bed.

"Aim's, you don't understand. I couldn't owl you, I'm lucky enough to escape those bastards to get you safe, if been in hiding. The dark lord and his lot aren't particularly fond of me right now. That's why I've come for you; you are going to be they're next target. I need to get you somewhere safe…" he came up behind her and turned her to face him. "Aimee, I have always loved you. And no matter what, I always will. I can't tell you anything more here, we don't have a lot to time. Pack some things that you'll need, I'll have Sirius come and get the rest later."

"Reg, are you sure?" she wanted to believe him…

"Please trust me, trust this…" he grabbed hold of her hand and laid it upon his chest. She could feel his heart beat rising and falling in a slow tempo.

"Alright Reg, just let me get dressed." she pointed to the door.

"Alright love." he left the room so that she could get some clothes on. She exchanged her night clothes for a pair of old jeans that were heavily faded, a green hobgoblins tee and her comfortable forest green hoodie. She walked out of her room ten minutes later with a small bag packed of clothing, necessities and such.

"Reg are you sure? I do have a life here." she narrowed her eyes at him as she picked up her romance novel and crammed it into her bag.

"Severus just informed her today that you were they're next target."

"Snape?" she asked disgustedly. "You're consorting with Snape?"

"Snape is a good man, we have many similarities." Regulus wrapped his arms around her tightly.

"I trust you Regulus…" she sighed.

"I should hope so." he spun her around him his arms.

"I've missed you Reg, everyday when there was no letter… my heart broke each time…" she laid her head upon his chest.

"I've missed you too Aim's." he spoke softly into hair.

She looked up into his icy blue eyes. "I love you Regulus Black." she smiled lightly.

"I love you too Aimee Edwards." They're lips met, brushing gently, softly.

It was then that they heard a large boom in the stairwell…

"Aimee, lets go." he tightened his grip around her with one hand and with the free hand he apparated them to Godric's Hollow.

.line break.

It was late, very late. Regulus still hadn't come back from Aimee's and I was getting nervous. The kid was like my brother, if he were hurt I dunno how I'd react. I visited the healers like he said, and just like he said, I was indeed pregnant. I didn't really know how to react to this one, I knew the second with the last one. I loved Sirius, I did, but I'm thoroughly convinced that I'll be a horrid mother… I don't have much to base off of, and neither does he. Lily's due any time now, I guess I can watch her be a mother, observe you know. But first I needed to talk to Reg, he'd know what to do, how to cheer me up.

I walked into the kitchen to pour myself another cup of Raspberry tea, Severus and Rose were in the dining room chatting quaintly. I smiled. Remus was arguing with James about something to do with Quidditch, something about the Cannons and Ireland no doubt. Lily was knitting a bootie sock which made me laugh, that woman never seemed to surprise me. I took a deep sip and looked over at the kitchen counter, Remus had brought me home some more chocolate, and hopefully I'll be able to eat this bar. There was a noise outside in the gardens, it had to be someone we knew, that we trusted. Maybe it was Pete, he never was around much these days. There was a scuffle at the back door before it opened and a trio staggered in. It was Reg, Aimee and Sirius, Reg was bleeding badly, Aimee was crying, and Sirius looked fearful.

"Oh my Merlin, what happened." I rushed to them.

"Death…" Reg panted, "Eaters attacked." his head dropped back.

"Sirius take him upstairs to his room." I rushed to my cupboard and pulled out a couple of potions that Lily or Sev had made for emergencies. I rushed upstairs after them, Aimee had gone to Lily whom took her into her arms and let her cry. When I got to the room Sirius had removed Reg's shirt to reveal several punctures. I spread salve on them and made him take a blood replenishing potion. He coughed and the wounds began to heal.

"Reg, are you alright?" I propped his head up on a pillow.

"Yeah, just a little scrapped. Nothing I cannot handle." he smirked at me. "You got anymore blueberry pancakes?"

"No, I got rid of them. I didn't want a replay of this morning." I rolled my eyes.

"What happened this morning?" Sirius looked concerned. "Are you alright?"

"It was nothing, a bad bit of the err… stomach flu, took a pepper up and felt loads better." I smiled at him.

"Ok." he kissed me on the forehead.

"Did you go and check like I asked you to?" Reg asked with a smirk still plastered on his face, the boy was good.

"Yes."

"And?…"

I shifted, did he have to bring it up with Sirius here? Bet it was all part of his evil little plans… I sighed, "Yes…"

He smirked while trying to get up. "I bloody knew it!"

"Reg you lay your arse back down right now!" I barked.

"What are you two talking about?" Sirius asked gravely.

"I'll tell you in a bit ok?" I asked sheepishly.

"No, now."

"Not here."

"Why? Reg's our family, and obviously he knows…" he glared.

"Now isn't the right time, your in a fowl mood, Reg is hurt and Aimee is downstairs crying. Now isn't really that suitable of a time to tell you ok." I snapped.

"Is it something bad?" his eyes grew.

I softened up a bit, he really was just worried. "No, nothing bad. Something wonderful though." I smiled. If that didn't give it away he was as thick as a block.

"Voldemort is dead?" he asked excitedly.

"No Sirius, moldyshorts is still alive unfortunately it isn't as wonderful as that." I rolled my eyes.

"Ok…" he sighed dejectedly.

"Reg are you hungry? Can I get you anything?" I asked the smirking young man.

"I would like some blueberry pancakes…" he smiled wide.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine." I turned to leave.

"But I do understand that you know, they cause the morning sickness, although its night…" he broke of ponderingly.

"Morning sickness?" Sirius's eyes grew.

"Reg.." I glared at the boy.

"Are you…?"

"Under the weather yes." I ducked out of the room. It didn't do any good however, just like any other time, he followed me.

"Gwen…" he turned me around to face him.

"I…"

"Are you, Pregnant?" he was nervous.

I sighed, Merlin Reg was going to get it for this…. "Yes."

"Did the potion not work?" he asked gravely.

"Oh no, the potion did work. I had to check out with Poppy who cleared me. This has happened since then…"

"Oh." his face grew red. "Then that means…"

We were both silent.

"I'm… I'm going to… be a dad?" his eyes never left mine. I nodded.

"I found out this morning, the smell of those blueberry pancakes made me sick, which was funny to me as I had a load of them for breakfast this morning. I went to St. Mungo's and got tested."

"This is…" he picked me up and swung me about. "This _is _wonderful!"

"I… It is? I mean ok! Yay! Lily and James aren't the only ones that are going to be having fun around here!" I giggled.

"Wait, you thought that I'd be…"

"No!"

"Gwen…"

"I really don't know about this Sirius, I love you, and I want to give you this but… I'm scared."

"Of giving life?" he asked with his faced all scrunched up in shock.

"No" I wiggled my nose, "Of being a horrid mum."

"I'm sure it's going to be alright." he pulled me into an open hug.

"I guess…"

"Let's go fix Reg his food and check in on Aimee." he put his arm around my waist and led me to the hall door.

.line break.

_**Ok… So I didn't get to that one part that happens at the end of July…. But next chapter you can guess that that's what the entire chapter will be about… Cute little Harry and some l/j fluff as this is a l/j romance**_

_**Plus lots of family at the hospital and stuff hope you liked!**_ **3 Herb3**


	21. Sooner or Later

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of Harry Potter! I only claim Rose, Aimee, Gwen and my plotline! **

**Call me green eyes: I just want to thank you for being such a loyal reader. I hope you got the sneak peak that I personally sent you via pm. I have changed this somewhat…**

**An aspiring author: Thank you for your constructive criticism. I hope you like this chapter.**

**To any other of my loyal readers…: Thanks for sticking with me, it means the world to me. I predict at least five more chapters, and an epilogue. It is nearing the end, and as things coming to an end are… I'm very sad. Never let me go has been one of my greatest pieces I've ever written, next to my manuscript for vantage press. Thanks for being a part of this story, who doesn't love an au Lily and James story that will end happily? **

**If you have any ideas please tell me, they will be appreciated. **

Story: Never let me go…

Author: Herb3

Chapter 21: Sooner or Later….

It was a late day in July, with rain falling quietly unto the roof tops of Godric's Hallow. There was thunder and lightning lighting up the grey skies of England. The hour was nearing 2 o'clock in the afternoon, and at current you could find Lily and James Potter aloft in they're chambers. James was pacing the ground frivolously, flustered due to the upcoming birth of his first child. Lily was much calmer, although she was 9 months pregnant and could give birth at any given time, she was calm enough to sit and knit more little booties in every colour imaginable for the young child on its way. A plethora of booties surrounded her, raging in colours of bright greens to heavy browns. James was attempting to sit and read through paperwork from the office. He had a multitude to get through, as he picked up not only his work, but his wife's. Lily was working on a strong red pair when they're good friend Remus Lupin rushed into the room panting and all a fluster.

"James… Lily… there has been another attack. Dumbledore told me to come and get you James, we've got to go and help fight." he panted, fear and worry heaving lidded in his eyes.

"Where?" James bolted up from his spot at his desk.

Still panting Remus replied, "Near Newcastle, by my cousin Rose. We need to get going now, to save whoever is left. All that I know is that it's a Muggle attack."

"Alright mate, go and get Sirius and Gwen, I'll be down in a minute. I need to say goodbye to Lily."

"Gotcha mate." Remus said dashing down the hallway to Sirius and Gwen's room.

James sighed at his wife, "Lily, I want you to know something."

"James please don't, you're going to make it back fine." Lily smiled at her worried husband.

"But if I don't, I don't want you to live a life with no love. I'll need you to move on. Be happy, live your life to its fullest and never stop." he pulled her into a tight hug.

"James, you will come back to me in one piece. And when you do we will have a child to watch grow. You will be fine."

"And if its not."

"Oh James, don't be so negative, it will be."

"Just take care of them, and yourself. Be happy and one day we will meet again and be together happily."

"James, everything will be fine."

"I love you Lily."

"And I love you James, always and forever will I love you."

He pulled out of the hug. "I'll be back soon." he dashed away.

….line…break…

Remus came crashing through our door panting and looking frantic. He tried to catch his breath before launching into a winded speech.

"Gwen… Sirius… there has been an attack outside of Newcastle. Stop snogging and come on. Dumbledore needs our help, James is on his way." he gasped.

"What? Oh dear Merlin, that's near Rose…" Gwen sat up quickly.

"It's a Muggle attack, come on lets go."

"Come on Sirius, lets go." she jumped up and threw her outer robes on.

I looked at her critically, if she seriously thought that I was going to just let my pregnant girlfriend that's already been kidnapped by a psychopathic bastard go and fight, she was bloody out of her pretty little tree.

"You're kidding me right? There is no bloody way in Merlin's goddamned name that I'd let you go and fight that psycho."

"Sirius people are dying right now as we speak. There is no time for argument." she snapped.

"Gwen, you're not going. I won't loose you again."

"You won't, now lets go." she threw my clothes at me. "Get dressed now!"

"Gwen, you're going to come and fight. I don't give a damn in hell about what you want. You're too fragile, stay here with Lily and Aimee, and protect them." I stood and clothed myself.

"I am not fragile! Now shut the hell up and lets go." she glared at me. "Now!"

"Guys, lets just settle this later." Remus tried to break us apart.

"Gwen, you are pregnant. You're not coming with!" I snapped at her.

"You're pregnant Gwen?" Remus's eyes widened. "The potion didn't work?"

"No, it worked alright. This has happened since then. And I'm not going to let her risk not only her own life, but the child that she's carrying."

"So its not…"

"No, not this time. This time its jackass over here's." she glared at me.

"You're not going."

"Try and stop me jackass. People are dying."

James walked into our room. "What's the hold up?" he looked at the two of us. "You're fighting now?"

"You're not going Gwen, that's the final answer."

"You can't tell me what the fuck to do Sirius, it's my damn life." she spat at me.

"And my child's life now set your pretty little ass down and be quiet."

"Your cant talk to me that way. And I'm going, you don't get a say in the matter." she walked over to the door only to be held back by Remus and James.

"Let me through." she snapped at the two of them.

"Gwendolyn Rose bloody Ackles get your arse over here and sit on this bed. Stop being selfish and think of someone else's life other than your own."

"Fuck you jackass, everything is going to be alright." she slammed through Remus and James.

"Gwen!" I thundered at her following her out of the room.

"Sirius, just shut your bloody trap." she called back to me.

"Gwen get back here!"

"Shove your self Sirius. I want to save lives."

"Then save yours and our baby's life. Be selfish for once in your bloody damn life!" I came upon the kitchen.

"I will, after I kick that bastard in his arse."

"Stop right now!" I told her as I caught up with her.

"No!"

"Now!" I grabbed her around the waist and shoved her against the wall.

"Let me go! People are dying and all you can think about is your self."

"Gwen please stop, people will always die, whether it's at the hands of some sadistic psychopath or the hands of fate. And don't ask me to let you go, because I never will." I glared at her.

"Guys, will you please stop fighting. Gwen why don't you stay here with Lily and Aimee." Remus came up behind us.

"I want to help." she sighed.

He smiled lovingly at her, "Then stay here, none of us wants you to get taken again."

"Alright." she sighed again. "Get off of me Sirius." she barked at him.

"Promise me that you will keep yourself safe." I narrowed my eyes at her.

"I promise." she spat.

"Good." I let her go and took off into the kitchen only to arrive with a familiar face already coming out of the floo.

"Oh my goodness." Gwen rushed forward to the young girl who was covered in soot. "What happened to you?" the girl had tear stained cheeks.

"Sirius?" she asked me, her tear stained blue eyes boring into mine.

"Nymphadora? What are you doing here?" I asked confusedly.

"Mum sent me to you. She said that you were the only one safe left to go to." she told me while hugging Gwen.

"Hey, stay here with Gwen. She'll clean you up and get you all settled ok?" I walked over to her and kissed her forehead. She looked astoundingly like her mother, my cousin Andromeda.

"Ok."

"You will take care of her?" I asked Gwen.

"Of course I will." she replied heatedly.

I leaned forward and kissed her on the lips. "I love you Gwen, I'll be back soon. We all will be." I took a pinch of floo and tossed it into the roaring flames of our fireplace before calling out my destination.

James smiled at the pair. "See you later Gwen, take care of Lil's for me." he left.

"Ok." she nodded sadly.

"Gwen," Remus smiled. "Take care of yourself. And of course of young Nymm here." he smiled at the girl.

"Will do Remmie. Take care of yourself too." she told him just before he left.

"Lets go and get you all nice and clean dear. Is that alright?" she asked the Nymphadora.

"Ok." she nodded sadly.

….line…break…

The poor girl was covered head to toe in soot, with large tears welling up in her beautiful blue eyes. I led her up to my room and plopped her down softly onto the bed. I walked over to my trunk and pulled some of my old clothes that I was sure would fit her, she wasn't much smaller than me, she had to be thirteen at least. I took her to the washroom and got her cleaned up substantially, had her take a shower, clean up a couple of wounds she had. Then I got her dressed and began a conversation with her.

"It's Nymphadora right dear?" I asked her.

"Yeah." she sighed while hugging Sirius's pillow.

I smiled at the girl. "Well its nice to meet you Nymphadora, I'm Gwen."

"Hi." she mumbled.

"Are you hungry dear?"

"No…"

"Thirsty?"

"No…"

"Tired?"

"No…

"Is there anything I can get for you dear?"

"My mum and dad." she started to cry again.

"Listen dear; I'm sure that they're ok. Sirius will bring them back safe and sound ok?" I pulled her into a tight hug.

"Ok…" I let her cry into my shoulder for a long while; it wasn't until Lily came into the room upon hearing sobs that she dried her eyes.

"What's happened? Gwen why aren't you with the guys?"

"Sirius wouldn't let me fight. This here is Nymphadora; she is a relative of Sirius's."

"Hello Nymphadora, I'm Lily." Lily smiled at the girl.

She smiled, "Hi…"

"Do you need anything dear?" Lily sat down next to her.

She shook her head. "No."

"Do you mind if I ask how old you are dear?"

"I'm 12."

Lily smiled. "Well that's nice, do you like Hogwarts?"

"Yeah. I've no friends there, but I like it none the less" the girl instantly perked up.

"What's your favourite lesson?"

"Transfiguration." Nymphadora smiled.

"Really, why so?" I asked.

"Because I can do this!" instantly Nymphadora Tonks, the cute twelve year old girl with Icy blue eyes like Sirius, and fluffy mousey hair was gone. In her place sat a much older looking woman with bubble gum pink hair. She smiled brightly. "I'm a metamorphmagus.."

Shocked lily and I both gaped at her. "Wow, that's brilliant." I sighed.

"More than brilliant," Lily said, "That's crazy cool."

"You think so?" she transformed back.

"Bloody hell, that's wicked cool."

"Gwen, must you use fowl language all of the time?" Lily sighed.

"Yes." I grinned sheepishly. "Its Sirius's fault though, had to go and put me in a fowl mood."

"What were you lot yelling about? I only could make out few things like, Sirius shouting for the world to hear, 'Gwendolyn Rose bloody Ackles get your arse over here and sit on this bed. Stop being selfish and think of someone else's life other than your own.', what was that all about?"

"Uhh…" I blushed.

"Are you and my cousin married?" Nymphadora asked slightly.

"Uhh, no. we're…"

"Gwen, are you going to answer my question or not."

"Well its really the reason why we were fighting…"

"Well no duh Gwen, I got that." She rolled her eyes.

"Umm…"

"What?" she looked angry now.

"I, um well…. I kind of am err…"

"Ok, what's with the stuttering? You never stutter. What's going on? Is It something bad?"

"No of course not! Its err rather, umm…"

"Gwen will you just spit it out?"

"Yeah!" Dora smiled.

"Hey guys." came the gentle voice of Aimee came to us. "Oh hello" she said setting down upon the bed. "I'm Aimee, and you are dear?" she smiled at Dora.

"I'm Nymphadora Tonks, Sirius's cousin."

"Its lovely to meet you dear." Aimee smiled at her. "What are you two bickering about?" she asked us.

Lily glared at me. "Gwen wont tell me what the bloody hell her and Sirius were fighting about before they left for the battle. And why she didn't go."

"Oh, is it about the uhh…" Aimee stopped. "Reg told me last night, I hope your not angry." she looked worriedly at me. "Its just that he's so excited that your going to be a… and that he's going to get a nep…" she blushed. "I think I shall stop now."

"Its ok, that boy tells everyone everything that he is told not to tell. He told Sirius, because I wasn't going to." I shook my head.

"Told Sirius what?" Regulus came into the room smirking. He then seen Nymphadora and grinned. "Nymm! What are you doing here?"

"Regulus!" she jumped up off the bed and ran into his arms.

"How's it going kiddo?" he hugged her tightly. "Did you get my last birthday gift to you? I was afraid my mum got a hold of it."

"Yeah, thanks Reg. it was cool, Chantal and I took turns riding it around the pitch when no one was watching." she grinned.

"Coolness."

"So now, what did I tell Sirius about?" he grinned at me.

"Nothing." I stammered.

"Oh does this nothing have to do with the fact that your pre.." I silenced him. "Shut it Reg, you've already told enough people already. Can you please let me tell my best friend myself?"

He glared at me then nodded.

"Gwen, this is the last bloody time I'm going to ask. What is up?" she glared at me.

"Ok… the reason Sirius refused to let me fight is…" I paused. Damn it, how was I going to form the words? Should I just say, hey Lil's, I'm all preggers from Sirius? Nah… damn…

"I'm still bloody waiting Gwen…"

"I'm sorry, its hard for me to even think about considering, and the fact that it terrifies me beyond anything in the world not including if it were with moldy…"

"Gwen…" "Ok, fine I'm…" I sighed. "I'm pregnant. There now its out and I don't have to say it again."

"The potion didn't work?" she gapped at me.

"Oh no, the potion did work. Severus is far too good for it to have gone awry. This time its uhh… with Sirius." I grinned sheepishly at her.

"Does this mean I get to be an auntie?" Dora perked up a bit more.

Aimee gave Reg his voice back, "Yep! And I get to be an uncle!"

"Oh Gwen, this is wonderful! Your going to love it, you get to be bitchy to Sirius and he just has to live with it. Then you can get all emotional and cry and make him feel all guilty." Lily laughed.

"Hey Aim'? Reg asked.

"What?"

"Don't get pregnant please?"

She laughed at him while blushing from his implification. "I'll try."

"Gwen?" Dora asked.

"Yeah?"

"Do you know how to make pancakes with caramel sprinkles and cinnamon?"

"Err, yes." I smiled. I'm sure I could in fact wing that?

"Can you make me some? I guess I kind of am hungry." she grinned.

"Alright." we all left and headed to the kitchens.

../\\\Line Break/\\\,…

We came back after an interminable four hours of fighting the likes of Voldemort, I rushed in to find my wife who was laughing with Aimee, Gwen, Little Nymphadora and Regulus. I swept over to her and kissed her passionately. I pulled back and observed the group, Gwen rolled her eyes, Little Dora blushed, Aimee and Regulus grinned, Sirius looked coldly at Gwen, Remus and His cousin Rosalie were just standing there observing.

"Hey Rose! How are you?" Gwen got up and walked over to the girl.

"Oh hello Gwen, I'm fine how are you?" She smiled. She'd been terrific during the battle, Death Eaters had infiltrated her house yet she held her stance and fought them all back until we got there, I have this sneaking suspicion that Severus helped her though, I seen him stun Mcluber when no one was watching him besides me hopefully point his wand sadistically at her.

"I'm super. Would you care to have a cup of tea with me?"

"Oh that would be lovely. Raspberry I assume?"

"Yep." Gwen grinned at her.

"Might I join you?" Aimee asked the two.

"Of course. Lily? Dora?" she asked the remaining two girls.

"Nah." Lily replied.

"No thanks Gwen." Dora said looking at Sirius with large eyes.

"I'll join you if you'd let me." Remus said.

"Sure. Reg? James?"

"That's ok Gwen, I'm in the mood of talking with Lily." I smiled at her.

Reg grinned at her, "I want to hear what happened."

"Alright then." she pushed the trio into the kitchen. Sirius growled at her. She turned and asked him tartly, "What do you want?"

"Did you want to ask me?" he snapped.

"Oh yes, there was something I did want to ask you, how's Severus?"

He growled at her again and she turned her back on him and pushed the trio the rest of the way into the kitchen following them closely behind.

**READ! Its tres important!**

**An: ok, so again I wanted to get the whole Lily going into labour in this chapter, but I didn't want to slam it all together so next chapter I swear will be the whole lily gives birth to Harry thing and the cute little Sirius and Tonks scene that I've planned. I hope you enjoyed, review all of your comments **

_**Herb3**_


	22. Here's to life!

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of Harry Potter! I only claim Rose, Aimee, Gwen and **_**my**_** plotline! **

**Miss Els: Thanks for your wonderful review, I loved it and appreciate it thoroughly. **

**Story: Never let me go…**

**Author: Herb3**

**Chapter 22: Here's To Life…**

We headed into the kitchen to have our little tea and most likely talk. I was in the lead; I walked over to the tea kettle and started to make the tea. Gwen snorted and took over from there; she always did have to do it herself. Rose and Aimee were talking about they're Hogwarts years, though they barely knew each other, they were in the same year and house at Hogwarts. I sat down and the table and observed Gwen, she was glowing lightly, angrily yet happily at the same time. She made her Raspberry tea followed by some earl grey for some weird reason. So In my curiosity I simply asked her,

"Who's the earl grey for?"

She turned and smiled at me, "It's for Severus."

"Ahh." I replied. She laid the two tea pots in the middle of the table.

"So Gwen, Aimee told me that you're pregnant." Rose smiled at her.

"What?" she sighed, "Oh. Yeah I Am." she busied back to get tea cups for us.

Rose seemed surprised. "Is it not a good thing?"

Sighing Gwen supplied, "No it's not that, it's just that I won't be much help to the order now, as I'm an additive."

"Gwendolyn Rose Ackles" I said heavily. "You are no additive, nor are you an oddity. Being with child can't be that bad, Lily made it through it just fine."

"Yeah but she doesn't have some jerk who likes to control her life now does she?" she rolled her eyes taking a seat next to me.

"Just ignore Sirius dear, I'm sure he's just getting carried away." Rose poured herself some Earl Grey.

"He really is only looking out for you." Aimee smiled at her.

I sighed. "Gwen, do you have any idea what he was like when he thought he'd lost you?"

She looked down. "I just wish he didn't treat me so breakable, I've handled worse." she shook her head.

"He loves you Gwen, he's so passionate about that. He wants to keep you safe and out of harms way. Both you and the baby." said Aimee.

"I know, I just want to be treated as his equal. Regardless if I'm with child or not. He wouldn't even let me leave the house after I got better, didn't want me to work up a sweat."

I rolled my eyes at her. "That's because you were oh, kidnapped by a deranged fuck head, raped, and paraded about as the fuck head's whore." I glared at her. "Come on Gwen, it killed us all every day that the bastard had you, your not some whore to be paraded about. Your Gwendolyn Rose Ackles, Sirius just wanted to restore you to that."

She gaped at me wildly. "Wow Remus, such vibrant words…"

"Just let him love you, it's who he is dear." Rose smiled.

"Rose is right Gwen, just let him love you for now. In dark times like these, when all can be lost within seconds, love is something to be cherished." smiled Aimee.

"I guess I'm just stubborn." Gwen shrugged at them.

It was then that Severus came through the floo looking frantic until he spotted Rose. Sighing he said, "Thank god no one was hurt." he came and sat down next to her. She blushed and poured him some tea.

"We're all fine dear." she smiled at him, handing him the tea.

"They're royally pissed. They've lost trying to get Aimee, and now Rose. The Potters are they're next target, I suggest you warn them." Severus told me.

"Will do." I stood up and made my way into the front room. James and Lily were cuddled up listening to Sirius and Regulus talk about how to defeat you-know-who. I sighed and looked at little Nymphadora, she looked sad… I guess they told her about her parents, even though they fought valiantly, they'd lost they're lives. James looked up at me curiously, raising his eyebrow.

"What is it mate?" he asked. Everyone turned to look at me.

"The next attack is going to be on your parents James…"

"What? How do you know?"

"Severus just told me, they're riled up you know. They've lost getting hold of Rose and Aimee, they're going after your parents next…"

"Well damn it, I better go and fetch them." he disappeared with a pop.

"Well, this news is disheartening. What are we going to do now? Those berks are after everyone." Lily sighed.

"After anyone who even remotely has contact with Gwen…" Regulus added.

"What are we going to do? She hates this you know, putting everyone at risk, it's why she faked her death in the beginning." Sirius put his head in his hands.

"There isn't much we can do though is there? The whack job will always be hunting her down, even if she's dead. He wouldn't believe it." I added.

"Fuck!" Sirius growled in frustration.

"Sirius Black! Mind you foul language, there is a young one present!" I barked at him.

"Sorry Dora." he sighed.

"Its ok Sirius." she smiled at him. "Can I go and have tea with them?" she asked us.

"Of course dear, no need to ask." Lily smiled brightly at her.

"Ok." she hopped off into the kitchen.

…/…Line…Break…\…

I drank my Earl Grey greedily, that girl makes the best tea in Brittan. I glared down at the table. Gwen was to my right and Rose was on the left, I felt surrounded. Rose looked quite fine though really, even though we tried to kill her. God I hated myself for it, I hated being a death eater. She was so beautifully innocent… I found myself attracted to her, in a way I'd never thought possible. She was sweet and honest. Caring and compassionate. And it was my duty in that dick faces eyes to take her life… I'd rather die than do that, and if it comes down to it, I will.

"So how are you Severus?" Aimee asked me with a soft smile. I took a drink of my tea and replied,

"Good as can be expected."

"Hungry Sev'?" Gwen asked rising from her seat.

"Can you wrangle a sandwich?" I asked her. I wanted her to rest, not bustle around trying to please us all.

"Of course." she busied herself with pulling out the makings.

A young girl walked though the kitchen door yawning, she smiled sadly at us and plopped down in Gwen's vacant seat.

"Does anyone else want one?" Gwen turned and asked us.

"Can I have one?" the girl asked.

"Of course my dear, anyone else?"

"Me?" Rose asked.

"Would it be too bold if I asked for one as well?" Aimee Edwards smiled sheepishly.

"Sure, go and ask everyone else if they want one too will you Dora?"

"Yeah." the girl bounced off into the front only to return a few seconds later. "Umm, Lily, Reg and Siri want one. So does the one guy with sandy hair."

"Alright dear." Gwen started on the sandwiches.

"Want more tea?" Rose asked noticing that I'd finished my cup.

"Sure." I nodded as she poured me another cup.

"You really are a fan of the Earl Grey aren't you Severus?" she smiled before falling into fits of coughs.

"Are you alright?" I asked her worriedly.

She came back around, "Of course." she smiled.

"Here your sandwiches are." Gwen laid a plate of four sandwiches in front of us. "I'll just take these in there shall I?" she made to leave the room however was unable to due to the fact that Remus came rushing through looking frantic.

"Its Lily, her water just broke. We can't take her to St. Mungo's without James, and the fact that the fuck face has spies in there. What do we do?" he asked us.

"Umm…" Gwen sat the sandwiches down. "Go up to mine and Sirius's room and get me the book in the bookcase called '110 things you need to know about healing."

"On it." he raced up the stairs.

…/…kaerb…enil…\… …-line-break-…

I walked into the front to find Lily laid up on a mountain of pillows with a frantic Sirius and a reluctant Regulus. Calmly I walked over to her and smiled down at her, I could do this…. Right?

"Ok Lily, listen to me. Take deep breaths and try to remain calm ok?" she nodded. "Reg go and find me some towels, and some string." I ordered at the frantic Reg. "Sirius, I need you to go into the kitchen and get me the blood replenishing potion and calming one." he sped off into the kitchen.

"Here's the book." Remus shoved the book into my hands.

"Alright, open it to page four hundred and two, and set it down on the table. Go into the kitchen with everyone else and wait."

"Here are the towels." Reg sat them down and rushed off after Remus.

"Got them." Sirius came in and stood besides me.

"Ok, can you get the towels and lay them around Lily?" I asked talking her pants off, then her under things.

"Gwen…" lily looked up at me shocked.

"You can't give birth with clothes on dork." I shook my head lifting her up with my wand. Sirius laid the towels down and stood back. I let her float down. "Ok, are you feeling any contractions?" I asked.

"Yeah…" she nodded hastily.

"Ok, tell me when you have the next one." I pulled her legs up and check to see how far along she was.

"Now." she gasped.

"Ok. Sirius, go and get James…" I turned to him. He was looking at me funny, with the weird look in his eyes. He just nodded and left.

"Another."

"Ok… this kid is a coming." I checked again, her hips were widening and a faint pink head could be seen.

"Ahh…" She moaned.

"Ok, just deep calm breaths." I soothed her. If Sirius wasn't back with James soon, I'd have to get someone else in here to help me…

"Grrr." she moaned laying her head back.

"Just breathe Lily. Keep on breathing."

"Oh my god! Oh my god! She's in labour! Oh my god!" James was franticly coming over to us.

"James calm down ok. Go into the kitchen with your parents and wait ok?" his parents were standing by the fire place.

"Ok…" he was pulled into the kitchen by his mother.

"Ahh…" Lily screamed.

"Oh Merlin Gwen, what are we going to do?" Sirius stood next to me.

"We're going to deliver this baby. That is if you can handle it."

"I can." he looked down. "This is more of Lily than I ever wanted to see." he chuckled.

"Ok, Lily." I looked down and seen the head coming closer. "It's coming ok. I need you to push ok?"

She moaned pushing with all of her might.

"Keep pushing." I told her. "Sirius, get a towel ready in your arms. And hand me the string and scissors."

"Ok…" he did so.

"Ahhhh!" Lily screamed.

"Come on, one big giant push love." I coaxed her.

With one giant scream and one even more giant scream a red crying little baby boy was born. Sirius came over and let me put the screaming child into the towel. I took the string and tied it around the umbilical cord before cutting it. I vanished the mess of the birth from Lily and took the baby boy into my arms. I cleaned him up and smiled down at him. He had lily's eyes yet look just like James…

I walked over to lily and smiled at her, I place the child in her arms… "Congratulations my lily, you have a son." she smiled brightly at me, although she was tired. "Can you go and get James?" I turned to Sirius who was looking at me like he was before.

"Yeah." he went to fetch his mate.

"Thanks Gwen, didn't know you could do all that." Lily smiled.

I grinned. "Of course! I'm amazing you know." I winked as James came in looking like a kid in honeydukes. "Let's leave these two alone eh?" I asked Sirius who was standing behind me.

"Mmmnhhmmn." he and I went to join the others in the kitchen…

**AN: YAY! Harry is here! Hope you enjoyed!**

**Read and Review my friends, but at this point you've read, so now review!**

**Herb3**


	23. Crazy for this girl

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of Harry Potter! I only claim Rose, Aimee, Gwen and **_**my**_** plotline! **

**HGHPlove4ever15: Thank you for the review.**

**Els: 'm sorry for that me dear 'm glad you liked it though. I'm going to have a load of more chapters in the future due to the fact that I've got loads of new ideas. Yeah, me too. But it's all magical! Less pain, and blood**

**Padfootlover13: I must heartily agree with you my dear. I love Sirius too!**

**Call me green eyes: Maybe… he is still angry with the ever lovely Gwen. Time just might tell….**

**Sincos.Is.The.Bomb: Aww shucks thanks. Id did a bit eh? I agree, however that is changing**

**An Aspiring Author: Merci mon amie! **

**AN: So very IMPORTANT! Ok… oh my Merlin. I predict that there will be 14 more chapters. That's it! Its soo sad and I wanna cry my eyes out like a blubbering baby who's just lost its binky… **

**Story: Never let me go…**

**Author: Herb3**

**Chapter 23: Crazy for this girl…**

Lily was beaming down into her arms when I came into the front room. There was this little bundle in lying in her arms with they're little arms waving about over they're head. Little black hair was sticking out wildly all about. I smiled at the two of them, lily looked up at me with tired eyes. The baby had her eyes, those beautiful eyes that I've been in love with all of these years… the little boy smiled up at me, as if already knowing who I was. Lily lifted him up for me to hold him, I took him into my arms delicately not wanting to harm him. My first son… its was so surreal, I could barely contain myself. Lily was grinning at us from ear to ear, soft tears leaking down her face. I bent down and kissed her soundly on her mouth. I pulled back and smiled at her.

"We did well."

"I know." she said softly. She looked so tired.

"He's beautiful. He has your eyes." I chuckled.

"And your unruly hair." she snorted.

"Then he's perfect don't you think?" I smirked

"Of course."

"What shall we name him?"

"How about Christopher?" she asked.

I shook my head, "No, not Christopher."

"Harold?"

"Nah, how about… Harry? Just Harry?" I looked up at her.

"Alright. Harry James then?"

"And I was hoping it would be Harry Anne." I joked.

She shook her head. "Harry James Potter it is."

"Alright, but the girl will be some flower name then Anne, then Potter you know."

"What makes you even think that I'm going to through that hell again?" she wiggled her eye brow at me.

"Because were supposed to have two boys and one girl. A collie and a Mercedes in the drive way with a five bedroom house in Ipswich."

"Wow, I didn't know you had this all so figured out…" she widened her eyes dramatically.

"Oh yeah." I replied. "Of course."

"You should probably go and get your parents, they'll want to see they're grandchild."

"True." I handed little Harry back to her. She began to play with his arms.

"I guess after that have everyone else come in."

"Will do."

..L…I…N…E…B-R-E-A-K…

I was sitting looking up at the ceiling, I'd no idea that a woman just about to give birth could terrify me so easily. Gwen and Sirius walked into the kitchen with smiles on they're faces. Gwen hopped up on the counter and Sirius went to talk to the Potters.

"Well?" Aimee was asking.

Gwen smiled. "It's a boy."

"Oh how sweet. A baby boy." Rose cooed.

Gwen nodded and walked over to the sink where she began to make some tea. "Would anyone like a cuppa?"

"Oh that would be simply marvellous dear." Mrs. Potter walked over to Gwen and helped her with the tea kettle.

"How err.. Was it?" I asked Sirius who was standing with his back to Gwen.

"Well, I'll never be able to forget it. That's for sure." he shook his head.

"Son, wait until it's your own." Mr. Potter patted him on the shoulder.

I smiled. "That wont be to far off." I chuckled at him. He just glared at me.

"Is that so? How come you haven't told us yet?" Mrs. Potter asked from the stove.

"Well." He sighed. "I just found out recently, didn't want to steal Lily and James's thunder."

"Oh dear, how could you think that? Life is such a wonderful gift, it should always be celebrated." Mrs. Potter, Rose smiled over at him.

"So who is this lucky lady of yours Sirius?" Mr. Potter asked him knowingly.

"Gwen of course." I answered for him.

"Gwen dear is this true?" Mrs. Potter asked the flushed Gwen who was bent over desperately trying to find something I was pretty sure didn't at all exist.

"Yes." she replied.

"My dear you're not ashamed are you?" She asked.

"No, terrified is more like it." Sirius glared at her.

After banging her head accidentally on the cabinet ceiling, she pulled up and glowered at him. "Oh stuff it Black."

"All you care about is yourself!"

"No, I care about people living! Not dying because some idiot likes to control people's lives!"

"Don't call me an idiot. You couldn't fight! Damn it Gwen."

"Dears, fighting isn't always the answer." Rose Potter tut-ed (AN: remember in chapter 17, Rose is Mrs. Potter's name. Just rose not Rosalie like um Rosalie's…)

"Your right Mrs. P, its not. And these two goons have been at it all day." Remus shook his head.

It was then that James came into the room to get his parents telling the rest of us to come in ten minutes from then. They left.

"I'm going to bed." Gwen said glaring at Sirius while holding her tea softly.

"Your being rude Gwen." Sirius called after her.

"Stuff yourself. And you might think about finding somewhere else to sleep tonight."

"Cant you two ever get along?" Remus asked my brother who was fuming.

"No! She's too bloody die happy. I swear she has a hidden agenda for it. First she fakes her own death. Then she gets kidnapped by Moldy. And now she wants to not only take her own bloody life, but our child's. She's a suicide queen!" he swore loudly after that.

"Now Sirius, that's not fair you know. All she wasn't to do is help, she's not suicide happy." Aimee glared at him and walked off to find Gwen.

"I'm siding with those two here." Rosalie gave him a heavy glance, and stalked off after the other two.

"Women." Sirius shook his head.

"And me." Remus left too, leaving Sirius, Severus and I.

"Well shall we go and meet the little one. Those four will later I'm assuming." Severus asked.

"Yeah." I nodded my head and all three of us followed him into the front room.

…L…I…N…e…B…r…E…a…K…

August arrived with the arrival of a new loved one. Many a days were spent to holding him and cooing over him. Lily was up and moving in now time flat after the birth. Rosalie and Nymphadora had both moved into the house on Godric's hill. Severus spent numerous hours with Rose though, Gwen was ecstatic. Aimee and Regulus spent a lot of time hulled up in their room, just spending as much time as possible together. Sirius and Gwen were still fighting, even though it neared two weeks after the incident. Remus managed to become manager of his bookstore, a feet that earned him lots of hugs from the women of the house, including young Nymphadora. Life was moving swiftly, it wasn't until the 15th of August that anyone had the chance to slow down and just live…

"Gwen! Rose! Aimee!" Nymphadora came running into the kitchen clutching a piece of parchment.

"What is it dear?" Rose asked the excited girl.

"I got my Hogwarts letter, this is my Hogsmeade form!" she smiled brightly at the trio of tea drinking women.

"Oh how wonderful dear." Rose winked at us.

"So who's going to sign it? It says that there needs to be a parent or guardians signature."

"Well I'm sure one of your cousins will sign it." Rose replied to the jubilant young girl.

"Will you Gwen? I'm sure Minnie will accept that."

"I guess." Gwen smiled pulling a quill and ink pot from out of a drawer. She signed the slip and handed it back to Nymphadora.

"Thanks!" Nymphadora took off running back up the stairs.

"Well that was rather interesting. She seemed pretty happy given the situation. Poor girl, is too strong for her own good." Aimee commented.

"I agree." Rose replied.

It was then that a Severus Snape walked into the room. His hair was matted and greasy, appearing that he'd not slept in a few days time. He descended into a chair next to rose and held his head up by his palm. He'd spent the last week doing errands for Voldemort. Go here, then make a trip there… it was getting to be too much for the young wizard. He'd hardly had a chance to even sleep this past week. He poured himself a cup of tea and sipped it slowly, savouring the rich and delicious taste of Gwen's Earl Grey tea, it was always much better when she made it.

"The Dark lord is on a rampage. He can't find any information about you Gwen, its making him furious. He slaughtered a whole slew of servants last night when they returned from a spree. They didn't get anything so he just killed them." the man sighed down into his tea.

Rose began to pat him on the back soothingly. "It's ok dear."

"No, its not. I don't want to do this anymore, I want to pick a side. Not sidle between the two."

"Severus, maybe we could just kill him." Gwen suggested.

"How so?" he laughed. "The Dark Lord has servants around him continuously."

"Is there any way?" she asked him.

"I dunno." he took another drink of his tea.

"I'm sure that one day we will find a way." Rose suggested.

"I hope so." Aimee sighed.

"Well let's just think positively." Gwen sighed. It was then that Harry, whom was sleeping upstairs gave a loud cry. As Lily and James were both at work, Gwen was charged with taking care of the infant. She left quickly to see what the matter was.

"Are she and Sirius ever going to stop fighting?" Aimee asked Rose and Severus.

Severus snorted. "Well… they did hate each other almost all of our Hogwarts years."

"She loves him, she's just very angry with him." Rose sighed.

"I remember one time, during your guy's fifth year, Sirius and James had just got done beating up this poor slytherin that had just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Lily was furious and stomped away leaving Gwen behind her. Gwen nearly hexed Sirius to death. He went to the hospital needing to get something reattached" Aimee laughed.

"No!" Rose said in shock.

"Oh yeah…" Aimee nodded.

Severus shook his head tiredly, "Those two fought continuously throughout our years."

"Severus dear, why don't you go and get some rest?" Rose patted her friend on the back.

"Is there someone in the last guestroom?" he asked.

"Umm no, but Lily and James are fixing it up to be a nursery for the babies."

"Oh. So then your room?"

"Yes, I think that would be fine." she smiled at him as he finished his tea and retreated.

…L…I….N….E…b…r….e…a..k…

I woke up to see the sun set out of rose's window. I sighed and rolled over stuffing my head under her pillow. My thoughts drifted to the girl, she was… I really don't know. What I do know is that I love her… or so I think. I've never thought about someone the way I thought about her. Not even Lily. It weirded me out a bit though, that I had these feelings for her. For anyone for that matter. It was then that I heard her come into the room. Her soft long sandy hair was falling over her face as she bent over to pick up some thing off of the floor.

"Rose?" I pulled my head out from under one of her pillows.

"Oh I didn't wake you up did I?" she asked her eyes widening.

"No." I sat up and smiled at her.

"Oh ok…"

"What are you doing?"

"Just getting some nightclothes. I'm sort of tired and I'm bunking with Gwen tonight as Sirius is still kicked out as she says." She grinned at me brightly.

"I can leave if you want. I'm up now anyways…"

"Oh no, you look so incredibly tired. Go to sleep, it will make you feel so much better."

"I can't just take your bed." I chuckled at her. I… was chuckling?

"Oh no, it's quite alright."

"No its not. Here, I can go and camp in with Remus and Sirius…"

"Oh dear, its fine."

"No its not. I won't feel right about it."

"Oh Severus, it's quite alright dear. No need to feel bad."

"No.."

"Oh please let's not fight. I'm sure it will be fine."

Sighing. "Rose please do this for me." Merlin I was crazy for this girl…

She looked at me softly. "I have only one request then…"

"Name it and it's done."

"We share the bed, that can't be all bad can it?"

"I guess not."

"Alright then" she smiled and crawled into the bed next to me.

I laid down next to her and closed my eyes…

…LINE…break…

I decided that today was a good day, for some reason. As rose hadn't turned up in my room last night I was curious. And so as I was curious there was only one way to sustain this, to go and find out… I padded down the hall way quietly to Rose's room. I pulled open the door quietly, very sneakily. The sight in happened upon made me whimper in delight. They were both cuddled up together sleeping softly. So happily, I left the room and skipped down to make breakfast.

I walked into the kitchen to find Sirius asleep on the table next to a cup of coffee. I'd just bet that he'd spent the whole night awake, having no where else to go to sleep at. Guilt immediately consumed me, this was my doing. He was spending the nights sleeping wherever he could, mostly on the couch in Remus's room. I walked over to him and slowly shook him awake. He awoke groggily, blinking a few times before he could fully take in his surroundings. He sighed and then glared at me, which was something in all honesty that I did deserve.

"Go up to our room and sleep ok." I said taking his cup over to the sink.

"I have work in three hours."

"I'll wake you up in two and a half. Go and sleep, you need it to think."

"Why do you care?"

Glaring, I turned around. The idiot. "Because I love you, you dolt."

"Oh really? couldn't have guessed."

"Look, go and sleep. I'll leave you alone and will have someone else wake you up. Is that fair?"

"It would be nice to sleep in my own bed again."

"Then tonight I'll sleep somewhere else." I snapped.

"I didn't…"

"Too late, go and sleep."

"Fine!" he stormed up the steps and Dora came down.

"Morning Gwen!" she smiled at me brightly.

"Good morning my dear."

"Are you and Siri' ever going to get along again?" she plopped down in a chair.

"Well yes, soon I hope."

"Good morning everyone!" Remus came down the stairs happily.

"What are you looking so chipper about?" I asked taking a cup of coffee to him.

"I had an erm… friend over last night." he grinned at me happily.

"Is that why I found Sirius sleeping on the table this morning?"

"Yeah." he grinned sheepishly.

"So where is this friend and what is her name?"

"Cecilia. And she's still sleeping, she'll be down when she's awake though." he drank the coffee greedily.

"What's a girlfriend Gwen?" Dora asked me shyly, blushing badly.

"Well it's a friend, that's an err… girl." I placed a piece of toast in front of her until I was done with the breakfast that I just decided would be chocolate chip pancakes.

"Well will that make _you_ my girlfriend?" she took a bite of her toast.

"Umm dear, did your parents ever have the whole birds and bee's chat with you?" I asked her, setting some toast in front of Remus, who just smirked at my situation.

"What do the birds and bee's do?"

"Umm. Well love, let me talk to Sirius, and we'll up tell you."

"But what does boyfriend mean?"

"Umm well, Regulus and Aimee are boyfriend and girlfriend…"

"Oh so you mean when you're in love?"

"Yes dear, exactly."

She smiled. "So does that mean you and Sirius are in love?"

Remus burst out in laughter. "Yes Nymm, it does."

"Oh…"

The rest of preparing breakfast went in a similar manner. it wasn't until the arrival of Remus's friend Cecilia came, did things get… interesting. Lily and James were eating, looking all lovey dovey at each other while feeding Harry. Severus and Rose turned up hand in hand, which earned a huge smile from me. Aimee came down with Regulus and they both busied themselves with eating they're pancakes. Cecilia walked in haughtily, looking for Remus. He smiled at her and pointed to a spot next to him.

"Good morning Cecilia." he smiled at her.

"Morning Remus." she sat down.

"Coffee?" I asked, noticing that I had to go and wake Sirius up in a half hour.

"Yes, of course." she shook her head all bitch like.

"Alright." I handed her a mug and pointed to the coffee pot, this girl was already irritating me greatly.

She looked at me appalled. "You are the maid correct? Go and get it for me." she cocked her head.

"Umm, no I'm a person. Not your bloody maid. You can get it yourself." I glared at her and left the room.

She was horrible, with her bleach blonde hair and fake nails… so irritated, I climbed the stairs up to my room only to remember that Sirius was sleeping. Not really caring, I walked in and sat down on the couch near the window. I glared out into the gardens, noticing rain in the distance, once again. I growled and grabbed a wrap that was stashed under the settee. I cuddled into a ball and silently cried, damn these hormones, was it this bad for lily? I let my thoughts drift over to Sirius, who was sleeping soundly. He deserved a day off… I figured that maybe if I were to floo Moody…

I sat up and walked over to my fire place, said the password to get through and found my head in Moody's office. He was glowering over a couple of reports. His foe glass was setting to the left, odd shapes of green were staring back at me.

"Moody." I spoke, breaking his concentration.

"Constant Vigilance! Ackles what are you doing in my office, don't you know that it's not safe. Especially after your mungo's visit?" he glared at me.

"Umm yes. It's just that Sirius is really sick, and he needs to stay home today. Is that cool or no?"

"Its fine, tell him he better be at the meeting tonight! He's a mission."

"Tonight?"

"Yes."

"Why am I never informed of these things?"

"He didn't tell you?"

"No, I guess I better go and pick a bone with him. Talk to you tonight Alistair." I pulled back to my room to find Sirius looking at me funnily.

"Where'd you floo to?" he smiled.

"Moody's."

"What for?"

"To get you sleeping time. I told him that you are sick, and your about to be bloodied so I'd just lay back down and pretend to be sleeping if I were you."

"Oh yeah? Why is that?" "The fact that you didn't tell me about the meeting tonight!"

"Your pregnant, you don't need to go."

"Lily always went! Why cant I?"

"Gwen, I just want you to rest." he sighed.

I glared at him. "I want to help, at least in the smallest possible way…"

"I just want you to be safe…"

"Its not like I'm going on raids with you guys. I just want to help with something, anything." I said exasperated.

"I know you do honey, I just need to know that your ok. Not half dead or kidnapped by that sick fuck again!"

"I wont go anywhere. Just let me be a part please? that's all I ask. Just because I once was kidnapped by the freak doesn't mean it's going to happen again. And so what if I'm pregnant, lily was an auror up until she was 7 months pregnant, I'm 1!"

"I know, I… fine ok. Just try to be careful…"

I grinned and jumped on the bed. "Alright." I rolled my eyes happily. "So Remus has this new err… bed buddy If you will. And she's a bitch."

"Wait… Remus had sex?" he looked at me astonished. "My little Remus who doesn't do anything other than wank?"

"Sirius! Must you resort to the speak of wanking?"

"Well you know, I did have a few wanks with you as…" I cut him off.

"Don't want to know…"

"In fact, just last night…"

"Sirius!"

"I'm only joking love, only joking."

…li…ne…bre…ak…-line break-

Gwen and Sirius walked down the stairs hand in hand, it made a small smile appear on my face, I knew it wouldn't take those two goons long. James and Lily had skipped off to work, Regulus and Aimee left to do Merlin knows what; Severus had to run off to the dick head again and Rose went upstairs to sleep. I smiled over at Cecilia, she was so extraordinarily beautiful. I was just over come with her radiant beauty. And to think, I was with her last night. I often think about Phoebe, and how much I loved her. I also came to the understanding that I was simply not meant to love. Sex was all I was ever going to get, once Cecilia found out about my condition she was bound to leave. That thought made me sad though, I wanted what Sirius and Gwen have, what James and Lily have… what Phoebe and I once had…

"Remus! My cutsie, handsome lover. I'm afraid I must leave, I have business to get to." The, no my blonde said.

"Alright. When will I see you again?" Gwen rolled her eyes at me, though it didn't matter, I was hoodwinked by Cecilia.

"Tonight! We can pick up where we left off…"

"Sounds great." I smiled up at her.

"Oh gods, this is making me want to vomit." Gwen said over some pancakes.

"Listen you ingrate, don't say that type of stuff to my Remus and I" Cecilia snapped at Gwen who took off running to a toilet.

"She's having morning sickness you hag!" Sirius tore off after Gwen.

"Remus, your friends don't like me, do they?"

"Oh Cecilia, they just don't know you. And Gwen is pregnant. She's got a problem with getting sick from her favourite things like pancakes and the honey dukes chocolate I bring home for her every night."

"You what?"

"I'm not quite following my little vixen…"

"Why do you bring her home chocolate? Are you two having some fling or something?"

"Cecilia, she's one of my best friends, she's like my sister that I've never had. Why would I… I… she's my friend…"

"Alright." she moved her head around snottily. God's I was crazy for this girl.

"So I'll see you tonight?"

"Yep.."

-line-break-for-the-pimping-Remus-Lupin-

The house was quiet, very quiet when I came in through the floo. James was being comforted by Lily; and every one else was simply moping around. Gwen was cooking, a normal for her. Sirius was sitting with Remus and Regulus, looking lost. It didn't make any sense to me, I didn't know what was wrong. Rose walked up to me with a smile on her face, leading me up the stair case. So naturally I followed her. We reached her room where she pulled open the door and pushed my lightly inside. Confused I asked,

"What's going on?" I sat down on the bed.

She sighed, looking distraught. "There was a death this morning, its affecting everyone a lot, cant walk about the room with out starting to get tears in your eyes." she sat down next to me.

"Who was it? Was it a death eater affiliated attack?"

"It was James's father, and yes, McNair got him…"

Why hadn't I know about this? "That's awful… really."

I know my dear, I know…

--line--break--for--rose--and--Sev--

"Wait we need a what?" Lily asked me critically, as if I'd gone completely insane.

"We need a dinner party, with everyone here!"

"Oh, let me get this strait… My father-in-law was just killed yesterday, and you think we need a dinner party?" she asked shaking her head unbelievably.

"Lily, we need _something_ to be happy about! I'm even going to invite Peter!" I smiled.

"We haven't seen him for months…"

"I know, that's why I invited him."

"Wait you've already done it?"

"Yes Lily, I have. In fact, almost everyone else already knows about it, its going to be a big order shindig!"

"Gwen, have you lost your bloody mind?"

"No Lily, I have not. Come on, this is practically the only thing I get to remotely help out with. Please? In times like these we need to band together, live with love and laughter, with no regrets."

"I think you've gone bonkers Gwen, really I have…"

"Come on, Mrs. P needs some cheer! it's a good idea and you know it…" I smiled sheepishly at her.

"Have you asked James?"

"He was the first person I asked, he just told me that you're the only person I really needed the permission from…"

"Alright." she glared at me before leaving the room to go and check on Harry.

I pulled my roast out of the oven and placed it on the cool marble counter top before busying myself with my mashed potatoes. Once I'd finished with that I worked on my chocolate gateau, mixing up the batter happily. I pulled my chocolate chip cookies out from the second oven and placed the on a cooling rack, I guess baking and cooking was I was really good for these days… it was then that Dora came down the kitchen stairs happily, pulling along a broomstick and a smile. She stopped at the cookies and her eyes widened with excitement, I figured that Remus had competition…

"Gwen, can I have one?" she asked me excitedly.

"On one condition…" I put my gateau into the oven to cook its two and a half hours.

"Ok!"

"Let me go and get my broom and we'll have a ride about ok?"

"Deal!" she grabbed a cookie and grinned.

--Line--break--for--Lily--Gwen--and--Nymm!--

"Ok everyone, the feast is served, we can now all eat!" Sirius said happily setting the last bowl of food upon the overly laden table. He sat down next to me and smiled.

"So why exactly are we having this party?" Peter asked me critically.

"Pete, come on. I haven't seen you since I've been back! I missed you, you little bugger." I rumpled his hair as he sat on my other side.

"I've been busy, with mum ill and all."

"We know, we've just missed you loads!" I smiled helping myself to some salad.

"Missed you too. So I hear that you've got a little bit of Padfoot here a cooking in the oven." he smirked.

"Yup. Now before it happened, I did have my fair share of being preggers with the mad bastard's kid. But I decided hey, what the hell. Lily and James cant have all the fun now can they?"

"Well I'm excited. First its little Prongs, then Little Padfoot. Maybe there will be a little Moony on the way… eh Remus."

Remus who had been gazing at Cecilia longingly turned for a brief moment and smiled. "Hmmph."

"He's a bit obsessed with miss Bitch over there." I snorted. Unfortunately it was then that the 'Bitch' looked my way.

"Watch who your calling bitch you stupid whore." she snarled at me.

I take this wasn't a bright thing to do, as I was overly hormonal and crazed with anger at this point due to her. "Listen, Cecilia. You may think your all top dog, getting Remus to act like a love sick goon and all, but you are a bitch. And I'm not the only person who's voiced this opinion."

"Oh go and have your little sex toy there next to you lay you."

I glowered at the girl. "Shut your face fick geshicht! This is my bloody party and your going to shut your trap." I crammed a fork full of salad into my mouth angrily.

"Whatever." she shook her head while giving me a hand. She was a real drama queen. That was for sure…

"Well, back to better topics. How's the little Padfoot coming eh?"

"Well you know Pete, its what? A month since conceived… its coming along fine."

"You two didn't waste time did you?"

Sirius laughed. "Mate, it took me about three hours until I got her upstairs and in my arms."

I whacked him upside the head. "Nice way to put it."

"Well, it's the right way." he grinned at me.

"Do you want to find yourself sleeping with Remus again tonight?"

"No." he kissed me on the cheek.

"Your charm isn't going to save you Sirius."

"I know…"

"You two are nuts. I remember you distinctly telling Sirius one time, valentines day our sixth year to be exact..

'Black, I will only love you when I'm able to drink ice water in hell!' you screamed at him.

'Oh Ackles, I do know your going to hell, but that would be when hell freezes over.'

'Gahh! Fuck you Black. Merlin I hate you with the heat of a thousand burning sons!"

"Good times eh Pads?" Peter chuckled at the both of us.

"Oh yeah Wormtail, the best…"

"So Pete, how are my potatoes?"

Meanwhile, a bit further down the table, Nymphadora was carrying on a rather interesting conversation with Alistor Moody.

"Wow kid, that's pretty impressive." he noted her abilities as a Metamorphmagus.

She grinned. "I can be anyone! It's wicked cool."

"That it is. I'd give it a few years time, and you'll be an Auror."

"Really? Wouldn't that be the best?"

"Eh, it's not what it's all cracked up to be." he took a drink from his flask.

"Mr. Moody, why do you drink from a hip flask?"

"Well dear, that's a good question. I don't trust anyone; you never know who's on the bad side."

Her eyes widened. "Oh… but you can trust Gwen! I even helped her prepare the food!"

He chuckled at her. "I trust Gwen; it's just the drink I don't trust. You never know when someone's slipped you something."

"Oh…"

"Squirt, I think you'd better eat those veggies of yours. You need the strength, and I've noticed you picking at them for over an hour." He chuckled down at the little Metamorphmagus.

**An: Oh my bloody Merlin! That was soo long… I just had a bunch of key plot points that I needed to get in, and it took forever to get them. They were thus…**

Crazy for this girl. 23

**Lily, James happy scene mit Harry.**

**August passing period.**

**Nymm off to Hogwarts letter mit Hogsmeade form.**

**Rose and Sev.**

**Tonks and Remus.**

**Mr. P's death.**

**Family dinner. MUST INCLUDE PETER PETTIGREW**

**And it took a lot to get them all in. one or two might have been errr not there.**

**Well read and review!**

**Herb3**

**Ooooh! Here is a sneak peak for the next chapter! Dedicated to Call me green eyes!**

"_Look, I know that we've been at each others throats lately." he sighed stuffing his hand into his pocket, feeling around for something. "But that doesn't change what is." he dropped down to one knee. "Gwen I love, and I know that you know that." he pulled a blue velvet box from his pocket. "Marry me?" he grinned at me sheepishly…_


End file.
